How to deal with your partner's jealousy?

[Angela]

One thing, Rose is such a loving and sexy creature, it's not like a woman wouldn't also be in danger of succumbing to or initiating a hot relationship with her, at least not any more than a man would. Hell, maybe we shouldn't even let her dogsit.

[AndreiR]

Angela, I do firmly believe in mutual respect in a relationship.
I wouldn't have it any other way.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by AndreiR

When a guy and a girl are friends, things can evolve into a relationship (it wouldn't be the first time in history, right?).

Well you know, I'm much more likely to suddenly fall in love at first sight with someone on the street or in a shop for instance, it wouldn't be the first time in history. So unless you want to force me to stay at home and never go out, my male friends like T, that I've had for years and for whom I have zero sexual attraction, are in fact the safest men I can possibly see. Seen this way, he should be happy that I'm busy with T instead of going for a walk on the street.

But nothing will happen with someone else. What I'm trying to say is that it's pointless to try and eliminate risk this way. Either the relationship is strong, or it isn't. If it is, I won't fall in love with someone else. I know what I want and that's being with K.

But you are right -- he IS reacting the wrong way.

No he isn't. His reaction showed me what I could improve and I'm grateful to him for that. He isn't jealous anymore now, btw, because we talked about it and he trusts me.

Originally Posted by Angela

One thing, Rose is such a loving and sexy creature, it's not like a woman wouldn't also be in danger of succumbing to or initiating a hot relationship with her, at least not any more than a man would. Hell, maybe we shouldn't even let her dogsit.

hehehe

Originally Posted by AndreiR

Angela, I do firmly believe in mutual respect in a relationship.
I wouldn't have it any other way.

Again I don't see how inviting a friend to stay at my place is being disrespectful. I live in a western country in the 21st century and male-female friendships are common here. Actually I would find it disrespectful of me to mistrust him so much that I cannot accept a woman staying at his place.

I don't see the point in being in a relationship and at the same time not trusting my partner to keep the word he gave. That's a waste of energy.

[AndreiR]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Well you know, I'm much more likely to suddenly fall in love at first sight with someone on the street or in a shop for instance, it wouldn't be the first time in history. So unless you want to force me to stay at home and never go out, my male friends like T, that I've had for years and for whom I have zero sexual attraction, are in fact the safest men I can possibly see. Seen this way, he should be happy that I'm busy with T instead of going for a walk on the street.

But nothing will happen with someone else. What I'm trying to say is that it's pointless to try and eliminate risk this way. Either the relationship is strong, or it isn't. If it is, I won't fall in love with someone else. I know what I want and that's being with K.


No he isn't. His reaction showed me what I could improve and I'm grateful to him for that. He isn't jealous anymore now, btw, because we talked about it and he trusts me.

I agree with you on this one, and I'm actually glad (and positively surprised) to hear that you are trying to improve and to iron out possible misunderstandings. Because the way you put it in your first post, without the details you added afterwards, it came across a bit weird you know, and it raised some questions in my mind, as you noticed. What I was trying to explain is how a guy would see the situation at first glance. It would definitely raise my eyebrow.

And why do I say that jealousy is the wrong reaction? Because I believe that jealousy is born out of fear, instead of love (it's the fear of losing). Personally, I prefer to get a reaction born out of love, versus one which is based in fear. Any day