Seeing value in people

[Ceros]

I wish to learn to see more value in people.

Let me explain: Say I meet a person from Germany - since I used to study German myself I will see this as an opportunity to improve my skills and I start talking to the person hoping to get to know them better and try to speak German with them.

Or say I meet a person with an interesting career, I'll start asking them about their job hoping to learn more about a topic I have no knowledge about.

But the problem is, if I meet a stranger and don't immediately find out something 'interesting' about them, I just can't advance the conversation.

It happens quite often in my life that someone I don't know decides to strike up a conversation with me, but I simply don't know how to respond. And when it comes to small talk I usually just smile and nod to everything the other person says.

And I know that there must be something interesting about them, and that every person is unique and can teach me something, but I just have trouble finding that in people or getting interested in them long enough for them to reveal it themselves.

Any ideas on how I can do this more effectively?

[Playlife]

It sounds like you focus on what the other person can give to you, like what knowledge or value s/he can give you. Maybe it would do good to focus on what you can give that person? Advice, help, support, company, something else?

[Holistic Star]

Some good questions to ask:

If you weren't here right now, where would you want to be?
What are your dreams?
What is your favourite thing in the whole world?
Tell me a secret (said with a smile)