Very Religious Family/Culture - Advice Please

[August]

Williwibald: Thank you very much, I'm reading the website right now and I'll look into the book.

I'm also going to read the authority chapter in Steve's book now.

[Savage]

Originally Posted by August

lol @ Steve, thank you.. I didn't expect that reply though, what about having compassion? but I understand where your coming from.

Compassion is great. But when people behave like spoiled children and throw emotional tantrums, a good pattern interrupt is generally more effective than going into the other person's reality and giving away your power.

[Johnny Soporno]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

...when people behave like spoiled children and throw emotional tantrums, a good pattern interrupt is generally more effective than going into the other person's reality and giving away your power.

Amen to that!

I have found that the value of 'over the top' iconoclasty is that it's damn near impossible to ignore, and forces other people to address it, OR to back-down.

If they will address it, they either prove themselves incapable of reason (or unwilling, which is worse!) or they will be forced to accept the rationale behind your choices - OR they will convince YOU of the mistake in your supposition, and you might just change your own mind!

Either way, harmony will be restored: Either you will ultimately agree, ultimately agree to differ, or ultimately realize that there is no futher point to any relationship.


Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy

[rawxstasy]

August,

I really admire what you are doing and I understand that it is not easy. I lived in Indonesia for twelve years and I know what it's like to have to live up to everyone else's expectations and "fit in" with the society.

What country are you in? Is there anyone there that you know of that is not going with the selected program of getting a degree? Try to befriend some of these people. Since you want to start your own business, maybe get in contact with some business people or people you are aware of that are not just "following the crowd".

Are you living in an islamic state? If that is the case, I would be very careful about letting people know what your true beliefs about islam.

[SomebodySomewhere]

I went through almost exactly what you went through. I'm muslim too although not devout at all.

My honest opinion is that if your family is willing to foot the bill for your university education then you would be foolish not to accept it. There's more to university than just getting that piece of paper. You also learn how to handle yourself more as an adult and gain much improved self confidence. You also tend to drop the angsty family issues which you seem to have based on you saying that they "are allowing me to do these instead of choosing for myself" .

Having a degree to fall back on if things don't work out with your entrepreneurial adventures is a good idea. 4 years(or less, up to you) is practically a drop in the bucket compared to all the anguish it could save you in the future.

University is a very rewarding experience, more so than having a job in my opinion. Instead of arguing with them about not wanting to go to university, why don't you argue with them about going into university to study something that YOU want to study.

The religion thing though is up to you, you'll have to deal with that on your own. I hope you know the reason why you want to give it up, and I suggest you explore that fully. You need to be VERY sure of your choice and decision before letting your family know, because if your family is in any way traditional like mine, then it may cause great problems for you; one of which being that it causes severe health problems for your mother and/or father due to disappointment and/or grief.

This isn't a matter to take lightly, and unfortunately I think your mind may be clouded a little too much by adolescent angst.

Good luck.

[CroMagna]

August, I see this has been going on for a year! What's the latest?