What Do Men Look For In A Woman?

[fitx3]

Okay gentlemen, here's your chance! There has been more than a few threads on what women want in men, but what do you really want in a woman? I know the physical part will be a big input so don't be shy. I'm sure sex will be high on your list but be sure to include what you like as far as personality and physical features- Hair and eye color, body types, breast size, etc. Have fun!

[Alexjstrandberg]

-High self esteem
-must love animals (sign of an open heart)
-open heart
-funny (another sign of an open heart)
-courage (crucial quality. I have spent a lot of time pushing past my fears and I need a girl who can meet me there)
-Must believe in my mission
-knows who they are
-not addicted to external validation

that's as far as personality/internal stuff goes. For the looks she needs to take care of herself. Not a super model but healthy is a sign of high self esteem. Not amount of looks will ever make up for not having the above. A girl can be extremely attractive and kill my attraction for her if she boring, unfunny, externally validated etc.

I don't have a preference as far as eye color, breast size, hair whatever.

[g00dz]

I have compiled quickly, the main requirements of a women i would want to have as a lifelong mate.


#1 a face i can stare at during sex, and still be encouraged to go back for round 2 by looking at it after round 1.

#2 Honest and open minded perspective on life and everything it contains. Not everyone agrees with everything, but be open minded. Someone who knows her priorities in this world and has her head on straight.

#3 FUN!! she has to be fun, or be willing to have fun. If i want to joke around with her, she wont go flat and not go with it. I understand not everyone is in the joking mood all the time, but at least SOMETIMES!! Fun also means sex.

#4 Nurturing as a person. Both as a 'wife' and as a mother to my 400 kids


Now for the secondary requirements. The things that would be preferred, but don't have to be followed as long as all 4 main requirements are fulfilled.


#1 Big ol boobies. Or boobies that are just beautifully shaped. B+ preferably.

#2 Big ol ass, or a beautifully plumply shaped ass.

#3 Overly kinky. Hey, everyone is kinky in their own way when provoked, but if she wants to be overly kinky thats something i love!


might be more, but this seem to come to mind first and foremost. enjoy

[say]

I'll first write about some physical stuff right now, because it seems easier:

1. Long hair. This is, IMO, one of the most important and at the same time relatively easy to do things to improve the attractiveness. Don't have to be very long, but I'd say at least as long as the face.
Don't care about the hairstyle/color either. Straight or curly. Might as well keep is very simple and just use the "pony tail" (or whatever it's called in english) most of the time and then let them loose from time to time for that super sexyness.

2. Personal hygiene. Be clean and all that. Take care of your body and be healthy. Also depilated is very preferrable, but might keep some short pubic hair above. Facial hair is a big no.

3. To me ass>tits. Big tits don't do nothing to me, they can even be small. I much prefer a beautiful and elegant posture, which often includes a nice ass (doesn't have to be big at all).

4. No fake tits/lips/whatever. Most of the time this is such a turn off that I can't even find words to describe it. Seriously, ask for my advice with pictures if you plan on something like that. No, I mean it, you can trust me.
I don't like many piercings either. Just be natural and you're probably going to look the best.



For the personality/internal things... this could get very long. I'll make a separate thread describing a very charming girl I know and hopefully that will be more insighful.
But right now I'd say:

1. Absence of fear and "lovingness". Try to love yourself and life in general. I'm sure you can find something nice in life or yourself, focus on that.

2. The ability to stay silent with a person and feel comfortable by just doing nothing.

3. High self esteem, but not big-headed. With high self esteem you can focus on loving others and you don't need to be approved by them.

4. Being a nympho sounds awesome. But even if you're not, be willing to accept sexuality as an important part of (some people's) life and be trusting and open about it.

5. Don't drool over Christiano Ronaldo. He's not all that! If you really have to pick a football player take Zidane, he's a nice guy and can actually play.

[Anand Dhillon]

First, the personality:

1. Positive/optimistic
2. Ambitious
3. Integrous
4. Authentic - no fake persona that she puts up for others
5. Playful
6. Adventurous
7. Supportive
8. Kind and loving
9. Committed to growth
10. Intelligent
11. Sense of humor - doesn't necessarily have to be funny but likes to laugh a lot
12. Independent - neediness/clingyness is a big turnoff
13. Likes kids

And the physical:

1. Cute face
2. Fit/Athletic body
3. Addicted to sex - well maybe not addicted but likes it often and for long periods of time
4. Sexy walk/comfortable and confident in her body
5. Knows how to dance and can work her hips

[fitx3]

[QUOTE=Alexjstrandberg;207853I don't have a preference as far as eye color, breast size, hair whatever.[/QUOTE]

Wow, this amazes me that you wouldn't have a preference. I always thought that men were somehow affected in their childhood years by some female that would influence what they are drawn to in their adult years. For example, I know of a man who in his very early years became turned on by Wonder Woman (Linda Carter) and now is attracted to women who have her physical features- Dark hair, light eyes, curvy body etc. Makes me wonder if we all develop our preferences at a very young age.

[Dannyboy1]

A hottie that doesn't worry about anything and accepts you for who you are and loves action flicks and happy hours!

[Playlife]

I don't know if I have some preference or criteria either. There are so many lovely looking ladies around and some of them are quite different too so I can't make any conclusions. (talking about physical stuff here)

[yossarian]

Originally Posted by fitx3

I know the physical part will be a big input so don't be shy. I'm sure sex will be high on your list but be sure to include what you like as far as personality and physical features- Hair and eye color, body types, breast size, etc. Have fun!

This just makes me laugh, because it's so wrong... there are so many gorgeous girls of all types...

positive attributes that I want:

- friendly
- sense of humor, quick to smile
- a nurturing disposition
- compassionate and kind
- cuddly

negative attributes that I avoid:

- chip on her shoulder
- bossy
- loud
- materialist
- obsessed with her own image
- competitive (playful-competitive is good)

[fitx3]

Originally Posted by yossarian

This just makes me laugh, because it's so wrong... there are so many gorgeous girls of all types...

positive attributes that I want:

- friendly
- sense of humor, quick to smile
- a nurturing disposition
- compassionate and kind
- cuddly

negative attributes that I avoid:

- chip on her shoulder
- bossy
- loud
- materialist
- obsessed with her own image
- competitive (playful-competitive is good)

Since when is a preference wrong? Of course there are gorgeous people of all types but I'm sure there are many people who are drawn to certain looks.

[robc]

hmmmm....

Where do I start....

1. Hair color.... blonde is nice, brunette is nice, red is nice also - apparently hair is a nice thing to have colored! LOL! Most women that I've ever known in my life have always taken great care of their hair, it's a female thing, it's definitely a good thing. Long hair, short hair, shoulder length, it's all good as long as it looks good.

2. Great eyes, I love a great pair of .... eyes on a woman. Brown eyes, blue eyes, green eyes, as long as their not glowing red eyes which shoot daggers out of them in my general direction. I've heard that the eyes are the gateway to the soul (or something like that). I've seen beautiful eyes that have teared up a little during a sensitive part of a movie (during a date), it literally melted my heart - gave me shivers - that's how beautiful they were.

3. Great smile/great lips.... I love a woman with a great smile, if a woman has a great smile, you know she is happy, content, has a good life, is fun to be with - I can read that all in a smile (I'm that good ) and the great lips thing... well, you should know what great lips are for, great kissing (again with the eye wink thing, what is it with this guy?!) A girl with great eyes and a great smile has a great face, something is beautiful & pretty and easy to stare at for several hours.

4. The body.... I'm a firm believer that most men love curvy/voluptuous women. If I'm wrong I'm wrong, but I'm not a big fan of overly skinny women. Fit is cool, I don't mind that but my personal preference is a woman with a little meat on her bones, I love the curves. If I must say it, yes I love a woman with nice boobs and a nice bum. I guess size would be relative to the woman in question but as I said, I love voluptuous women.

5. Nice hands/nice feet ... I love women that get manicures/pedicures on a regular basis, it looks great on a woman (love french manicured hands and I love red nail polish on women's feet) and it shows she takes care of herself.

6. And this should take the #1 spot actually.... a brain, a fully functional brain, something that is capable of decent conversation, a bit of sassy sexy attitude, great sense of humor, not afraid to speak her mind and show off a bit either.

7. A sexy voice is awesome, especially when a guy plans on talking to a girl on a regular basis in person or over the phone. I definitely don't have a sexy voice myself but my ears always point up when I hear a sultry, dolcet tone coming out of a fine looking woman..... it's like "Hello.... How you doin'!"

This is going to be a fun thread, I'll post some more, I want to keep reading what everyone else is posting.

[yossarian]

Originally Posted by fitx3

Since when is a preference wrong? Of course there are gorgeous people of all types but I'm sure there are many people who are drawn to certain looks.

In my experience most guys aren't looking for something like blond hair and green eyes, but rather they are attracted to beautiful women of all types. That's all I meant.. it seems to be a common opinion among women that men have certain types of girls they prefer but that applies far more to personality than it does to looks, in my experience. How are you going to say that Jennifer Connely (a brunette) is less or more attractive than Naomi Watts (a blond). Every guy would agree that personality is the deciding factor.

[fitx3]

Thanks for the explaination yossarian. I'm actually learning quite a bit from this thread!

Makes me wonder if you are right about us women being more inclined to have a preference, I do.

[munish]

Having common interests and goals are more important than having a well fed body.

I would never consider the physical aspects of a woman . But, she must have a strong sense of purpose.

[robc]

Originally Posted by munish

Having common interests and goals are more important than having a well fed body.

I would never consider the physical aspects of a woman . But, she must have a strong sense of purpose.

Men first & foremost observe the physical characteristics of a woman before they consider any of her personal traits. You won't bother trying to determine common interests, goals, personality, etc. if you aren't attracted to the woman.

[SomeRandomGuy]

Starting with physical attributes, since that is what gets most guys attention to begin with:

1) Curves - A woman without curves will get little attention from me. I do not like the stereo-typical Hollywood or model look. It concerns me that a lot of women think that men want super-skinny girls. Not only does that screw with their self-esteem, but it also reduces the number of attractive curvy women.

2) Ass - Unfortunately I have never been able to put into words what makes a great ass. It is just one of those things that you know what you see it. Definitely has to have some shape (I guess that goes back to #1).

3) Dark skin - I like a dark skinned girl. The exception to this are goth girls (see #4)

4) Alternative Looks - I like a girl who does not look like every other girl on the street. This includes girls with unnaturally colored hair (pink, blue, green,etc), tattoos, piercings, spiked dog collars, etc.

5) All real - I prefer a girl who is comfortable with her natural beauty. Aside from plastic surgery, botox, etc I also am not a big fan of dyedd hair (with the exceptions listed above) or even make-up (I can tolerate make-up as long as it is used for dressing up and not a requirement for going into public or seeing others).

Once a girl has my attention I look for the following traits:

1) Intelligence - She doesn't have to have a PHD or be a brain surgeon, but I do like a girl who can carry on an intelligent conversation, debate politics and discuss things like history, science, literature, etc.

2) Sense of humor - Everyone has some sense of humor. Not a lot of people have the type of sense of humor that I have. It is important to me to find someone who understands and shares my sense of humor.

3) Knows who she is - I like a girl who knows who she is, and is ok with that. I very much dislike a woman who cares what others think about her, and makes changes in order to fit what others think she should be.

4) Honesty - Honesty is one of the most important building blocks of a successful relationship, so it is hard for me to be truly attracted to anyone who is not honest.

5) Open and accepting - I like a woman who is open-minded and accepting of other opinions, lifestyles, etc. It is also important to me for a woman to be open to trying new things, and not be stifled by what is considered "normal" or "acceptable" in our society. This includes both sexual and non-sexual things.

I do have to add the disclaimer that these are attributes I look for in a woman for a relationship. If I were simply looking for a hot girl for a one-night stand my criteria would be much different.

[Brutha]

What Do Men Look For In A Woman?

First, people normally don't have a list of traits and then go out and seek a woman who matches those traits.

In Freakonomics there is a nice study about whether people prefer to date people of the same race.
On a dating portal there is a field where people can specify whether they want to date people of other races.
It turn out that a lot of those people who said in there profile that they don't care about the race of the people they date still were more likely to send messages to people of the same race.

There is a lot that happens unconsciously that effect whether people like each other.

In general looking at beautiful woman increases the happieness of a man while it doesn't increase the happieness of the woman as much to look at an attractive man. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/core/Cont...&site=5&page=0
But I also don't think that you can boil attractiveness down to things like haircolor.

I believe in the theory that attractiveness has to do with the ability to create a mental representation in our brains.
If you look like people I know (and that have had a large effect on me) it easy for my brain to store your face.
We don't remember the faces of people of other races as well as our own, which would corrospond to the freakonomics study, where people prefer people of the same race.
On the other hand features that make someone special also help with building a good mental representation.
A given feature should either be average or stand out to be attractive. If it's in between it not special enough to help nor average enough to be linked to known mental maps.

In addition to attractiveness, intelligence is also important for me.

Charisma or the ability improve other peoples emotions by smiling and being accepting counts too.

Cultural female characteristics like long hair, wearning skirts or nail polish also increase the chances of sexual attraction.

[Alexjstrandberg]

Originally Posted by fitx3

Wow, this amazes me that you wouldn't have a preference. I always thought that men were somehow affected in their childhood years by some female that would influence what they are drawn to in their adult years. For example, I know of a man who in his very early years became turned on by Wonder Woman (Linda Carter) and now is attracted to women who have her physical features- Dark hair, light eyes, curvy body etc. Makes me wonder if we all develop our preferences at a very young age.

that is generally true. Most guys date the same type of girls but me, I'm not most guys

[fitx3]

Originally Posted by Alexjstrandberg

that is generally true. Most guys date the same type of girls but me, I'm not most guys

I just read your latest blog and found it quite interesting. Although it would require a whole new thread for the subject addressed, I thought I would say that I believe anyone who follows your advice would be attracting a woman with low self esteem. If she had the same priorities as you do, I think there would never be any connections made because know one would have the time to fit the other person into their lives. If you put her 4th on the list and she put you 4th on the list, by the time you both got together, it would almost take forever. If you do this enough to someone with high self esteem, it would be inevitable for another person to take your place in the relationship. What I'm trying to say is somebody has to be first at some point, then hopefully it should be reciprocated. That's what finding the perfect mate is all about right?

[Alexjstrandberg]

Originally Posted by fitx3

I just read your latest blog and found it quite interesting. Although it would require a whole new thread for the subject addressed, I thought I would say that I believe anyone who follows your advice would be attracting a woman with low self esteem. If she had the same priorities as you do, I think there would never be any connections made because know one would have the time to fit the other person into their lives. If you put her 4th on the list and she put you 4th on the list, by the time you both got together, it would almost take forever. If you do this enough to someone with high self esteem, it would be inevitable for another person to take your place in the relationship. What I'm trying to say is somebody has to be first at some point, then hopefully it should be reciprocated. That's what finding the perfect mate is all about right?

For those who don't know what post she is talking about, take a look at the signature.

No, actually my girlfriend has quite high self esteem and has gained a lot of it since meeting me. She has been with me for over two years and hasn't thought once about getting someone else to take my place and constantly tells me she loves me.

As for your fourth comment, I include my girlfriend in my mission, she helps me with it quite a lot actually. For example, I'm not the best with grammar and sentence structure so when I finish up a post she helps me edit it.

It's very important to find someone who believes and supports your mission, otherwise they cant really be included in it. If you don't they won't like that you are spending time on your mission because on a deep level they will feel like you are wasting your time.

In addition, I am not on my mission all day long- I couldn't because I would need time to refresh and gain energy, so we have a good bit of time to spend with one another. I spend a great deal of time with my girlfriend but I won't break my mission for her. Right now my girlfriend is sleeping but if she woke up and wanted to watch a movie with me or whatever I would say no and get back to finishing this post. She might not like it but she will respect someone who believes in what they do.

If you take a look at my other post on how to live and find your mission I mention that your mission is what you make a decision to do as well. For example, if your mission is to go to the store to get food and your girlfriend wants you to do xyz activity and you cave to her demands she will lose respect and attraction for you. Do this enough times and you will end up losing the relationship.

I see it a lot with couples where the guy gives the woman everything she wants and puts his needs/wants second only to have the woman resent and disrespect the guy in the end. He has trouble saying no and doesn't have proper boundaries set up.

This type of behavior would attract women with low self esteem because the women are choosing to be with a man who has no personal boundaries(inability to say no) and no strong sense of himself and direction in life.

Also, I agree with you that relationships take time. I believe that relationships are very important and take a great deal of time to grow closer and connect. This is why it's very important for couples who are right for one another to live with each other.

[Alexjstrandberg]

In addition, there are a lot of people who get help from my blog but if you aren't one of them, it's ok with me. I simply urge you to stop reading because it will be a waste of your time and only give you something to complain about.

[fitx3]

Originally Posted by Alexjstrandberg

In addition, there are a lot of people who get help from my blog but if you aren't one of them, it's ok with me. I simply urge you to stop reading because it will be a waste of your time and only give you something to complain about.

I actually enjoyed reading your blog and thought it was well written but am I understanding correctly that the only comments you request are the ones where people will agree with everything you write? And if not, will you urge everyone to stop reading? By the sensitivity I feel I'm picking up from you, I want you to know that I meant no disrespect to your mission and may you continue to help others with it. Good luck.

[Alexjstrandberg]

Originally Posted by fitx3

I actually enjoyed reading your blog and thought it was well written but am I understanding correctly that the only comments you request are the ones where people will agree with everything you write? And if not, will you urge everyone to stop reading? By the sensitivity I feel I'm picking up from you, I want you to know that I meant no disrespect to your mission and may you continue to help others with it. Good luck.

I have misread you (long day with little sleep) and I apologize.

Not sensitivity, more a warning to anyone who gets upset by the things I talk about and a general instilling of a like it not kind of attitude.

The reason I posted that warning is that I think this is a place for helping people to grow and finding out what works for them. If my stuff doesn't feel congruent to people, that's great but I don't want to get into an argument about whether or not it's right or wrong. Those arguments can get very lengthy and emotional, which takes away from growing and learning. I have received criticism on this board before and just wanted to try and eliminate those wasteful arguments.

[clair08]

I really like this thread it's very insightful. Plus it seems that guys and girls are looking for the same things. Someone who is beautiful in their eyes, is intelligent, loves and accepts them for who they are, someone who knows who they are, and someone they can trust. At least that's what I look for in guy.

[Alexi]

I'd say I agree mostly with alexjstrandberg. I agree with a lot of the other posts as well, but this one especially. A girl who is actively trying to conquer fear and interested in self improvement is very important. A girl who tries to live with openness and love is important. I would also like a girl that challenges me. A good attitude is important too. These are just a few.

And musical passion (listening or creating) is a plus.

Capacity for humor (listening or creating) is also a plus.

[Eisho]

Originally Posted by fitx3

Okay gentlemen, here's your chance! There has been more than a few threads on what women want in men, but what do you really want in a woman? I know the physical part will be a big input so don't be shy. I'm sure sex will be high on your list but be sure to include what you like as far as personality and physical features- Hair and eye color, body types, breast size, etc. Have fun!

As difficult as it is to define, I like girls that are feminine. It's a big reason I have stayed in Japan. I like girls who enjoy beings girls. I don't want a girl who is confused about her femininity or her sexuality. Looks and so on are great, but bottom line is femininity.

Eisho

[cylon]

Sweet, kind, giving, considerate to others, "goes with the flow", stands by me (her man). Doesn't feel love is a power-play. Lets me lead (or at least cares enough about me to give me that illusion, lol )

Basically, a feminine woman.

[Boreas]

I look for a good looking woman that rejects and ignores me, then I will never stop chasing her.

Everything else can be overlooked and forgiven via imagination.