help...my gf suddenly changed!

[sel206]

Ive been with this girl for many months now. Everything was perfect.

Suddenly, she changed. once on the phone, sayin she dsnt care anymore. Then swearing at me, continously hurting me with extreame messed up words. Even wished that a member of my family died, even tho she doesnt know them!

After hours of talking late night on the phone (just now) she told me she thinks im not in love with her, and she thinks i like the thought of being in love, but im not really in love!!! How the hell do i even attempt to prove that otherwise? I tried, and all she said was "get lost" and the f word many times. She has never been like this, and she even started to cry on the phone and when asked whats wrong, she told me a story of her being molested and later in life putting hate against that family that did that to her, that most of them have died by today....and she was glad about it...(i dont wanna judge this story)



I dont know what is going on. I have never been more confused in my entire life. I know i am in charge of my own negative feelings, but what do i do now? Do i repeatedly try to call her? and check if shes okay? Maybe she needs some kind of help which i dont know about? What do i do?

[AlexG]

Familiar situtation.

Its not you that is confused its her.

she told me she thinks im not in love with her, and she thinks i like the thought of being in love, but im not really in love!!! How the hell do i even attempt to prove that otherwise?

You don't. Its not what she thinks you are thinking. Whatever she told you its how she feels. Do not try to prove anything.

My advice and opinion and this may not be popular one. Move on. Don't put up with what she is doing. I think she has cheated on you and now feels guilty but she will project those feelings onto you and will make it all your fault. If its not cheating, above still applies. She will project it onto you and make it your fault.

Move on man, and have self respect by not putting up with stuff like that. Don't call. Don't talk. Start doing your own thing and concentrate on yourself.

I hope this resolves soon and you will find yourself a much better man if you cut her loose.

Good luck

[LifeFirst]

You're in love with someone who wishes death on your family members???


Alright then..

The problem isn't her....it's you.

[Alexjstrandberg]

Ouch, run for the hills man.

I can't say for certain because I am not in your relationship but these a big signs of cheating. When a person cheats they attack the person they cheated on in order to get that person angry at them. When the other person is angry they feel justified and less guilty about the cheating.

or they will try and convince themselves that they were never really that in love with you.

Be careful of girls that say that you aren't really in love with them or say things like "oh you will just get bored of me" In my experience then tend to lack heart, honesty and integrity.

[ns123]

I would second the "leave her" advice. Sorry, it does sound harsh.

If you cannot walk away, you should be prepared to go to hell for her to help her pull herself back, if she even wants to. Which is probably what it will take to help her - basically, you have to stick by her, give her the tools, and support her in helping herself. This may happen, it may not, it's really up to her to resolve her own issues. You can only support her.

[driven1]

Just a thought, maybe completely wrong:

Is it possible she wants to break up, but she's being passive about it, and instead trying to get YOU to break up so that she won't have to deal with the guilt? I've seen it before...

[Alexjstrandberg]

Originally Posted by driven1

Just a thought, maybe completely wrong:

Is it possible she wants to break up, but she's being passive about it, and instead trying to get YOU to break up so that she won't have to deal with the guilt? I've seen it before...

could be that too. It could be a number of things but it's clear that the relationship isn't working