Is my reclusive lifestyle realistic?

[CroMagna]

I live an extremely reclusive lifestyle. I really only see my family, co-workers, and a few friends. I don't like to go outside and be around crowds of people. It's because I am a very misanthropic person. I feel a deep distrust/hatred towards humanity and I also feel a some shame for being weak. There's nothing I can really do other than isolate myself. It seems like the only practical solution to the anger/shame traits, but I wonder how realistic it is. Can you really isolate yourself from society...

[LifeFirst]

It's fine to do the things you feel comfortable. As long as you know that you are the cause of your reclusive Lifestyle....and not other people.


Of course, I hate pressuring people into doing things, especially things they don't like to do. So I'm not going to tell you to go out or something like that. But I hope that you are content and happy when you are by yourself, that's the most important thing, you should live Life at your own pace.

[pianoperformer]

Humans are social creatures. It is probably not the best.

Instead of being reclusive because of your mistrust and hatred of humanity, perhaps try to work through these issues so that you can enjoy being around others.

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by pianoperformer

Humans are social creatures. It is probably not the best.

Instead of being reclusive because of your mistrust and hatred of humanity, perhaps try to work through these issues so that you can enjoy being around others.

I think it's pretty much impossible to get me to trust or love humanity ever again. The only thing that would bring me back into the fold is revenge.

[Lanya]

I don't quite understand. You ask whether your lifestyle's realistic, when the fact that you're living it suggests that it already is.

Could you be more specific? What exactly do you want out of this thread?

[ivorytickler]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I live an extremely reclusive lifestyle. I really only see my family, co-workers, and a few friends. I don't like to go outside and be around crowds of people. It's because I am a very misanthropic person. I feel a deep distrust/hatred towards humanity and I also feel a some shame for being weak. There's nothing I can really do other than isolate myself. It seems like the only practical solution to the anger/shame traits, but I wonder how realistic it is. Can you really isolate yourself from society...

The problem I see with this is it could make the problems worse. Isolating yourself increases distrust. You're doing nothing to address the problem and may be making it worse.

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Lanya

I don't quite understand. You ask whether your lifestyle's realistic, when the fact that you're living it suggests that it already is.

Could you be more specific? What exactly do you want out of this thread?

I'm glad you mentioned this, because I did notice the thread veering off course. I wanted to know if it's realistic to always do this. You can only avoid the herd so much and for so long.

[Lanya]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

You can only avoid the herd so much and for so long.

Wouldn't this answer your question?

[CroMagna]

I don't know, I hope not.

[Jarrod]

What do you want to do with your life?

You don't have to trust or not trust people. You don't have to hate or not hate people. You don't have to be ashamed or not ashamed of yourself.

"There's nothing I can really do other than isolate myself."

Incorrect. You should try working on the fears you have. There are a lot of different methods around.

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Jarrod

What do you want to do with your life?

You don't have to trust or not trust people. You don't have to hate or not hate people. You don't have to be ashamed or not ashamed of yourself.

"There's nothing I can really do other than isolate myself."

Incorrect. You should try working on the fears you have. There are a lot of different methods around.

I want to gain a sense of respect, justice, equal treatment, fairness, and safety. I feel that these are impossible dreams.

[Lanya]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I don't know, I hope not.

Why? The idea that it's impossible not to live as a recluse: This is a bad thing?

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I want to gain a sense of respect, justice, equal treatment, fairness, and safety. I feel that these are impossible dreams.

Are you sure? Is this something you "know?" Something you just "think" or "believe" is true?

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Lanya

Why? The idea that it's impossible not to live as a recluse: This is a bad thing?


Are you sure? Is this something you "know?" Something you just "think" or "believe" is true?

Yes it's a bad thing because I want to live as a recluse, because I see no other solution to living in a hostile world.

Is this something I know? Well I have done research for years on how to earn respect, how to overcome sexism, conquer your enemies, tip the scales of justice, there is no research on any of this. That gives me the impression that such possibilities are pipe dreams.

[Lanya]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Yes it's a bad thing because I want to live as a recluse, because I see no other solution to living in a hostile world.

You see no solution. Does that mean there is no solution?

Originally Posted by CroMagna

Is this something I know? Well I have done research for years on how to earn respect, how to overcome sexism, conquer your enemies, tip the scales of justice, there is no research on any of this. That gives me the impression that such possibilities are pipe dreams.

It gives you the impression that this is impossible. Does that mean this is impossible?

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Lanya

You see no solution. Does that mean there is no solution?



It gives you the impression that this is impossible. Does that mean this is impossible?

No and No...so what then are my options...?

[Lanya]

Originally Posted by CroMagna

No and No...so what then are my options...?

So you don't know that any of your goals are impossible. For all you know, all of these goals could be completely reasonable. But you're not sure.

What can you do to find out if it's possible?

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Lanya

So you don't know that any of your goals are impossible. For all you know, all of these goals could be completely reasonable. But you're not sure.

What can you do to find out if it's possible?

I'm not sure, maybe I could do some more research or brainstorming?

[Lanya]

Let's try brainstorming. In another topic, you came up with a great list of goals:

Originally Posted by CroMagna

I would be 20-25 pounds lighter
I would be a millionaire
I would be a Church of Satan Magistra
I would have an interesting job
I would be married to my boyfriend and he would financially stable
My mom would be financially stable and well adjusted
In the morning, I would lounge around in a robe and slippers
I would have a nice spacious house
I will feel a sense of inner peace
I will have mindfulness or lack of negative attacking thoughts
I would feel a sense of vindication for the societal mistreatment, like the situation was rectified
I would be respected, even feared by my enemies

What are some of your ideas for achieving any one of these goals?

[CroMagna]

Originally Posted by Lanya

Let's try brainstorming. In another topic, you came up with a great list of goals:

What are some of your ideas for achieving any one of these goals?

I would be 20-25 pounds lighter - my plan for that is to eat mostly vegetables and count calories
I would be a millionaire- my plan for that is to increase my income by looking for a higher paying job
I would be a Church of Satan Magistra- the way you rise through the ranks in the Church is through real world accomplishment, so it would coincidence with everything else
I would have an interesting job- look for one
I would be married to my boyfriend and he would financially stable-I'm not sure how to get him to be financially stable, maybe help him find a better job...
My mom would be financially stable and well adjusted- maybe send her money periodically
In the morning, I would lounge around in a robe and slippers-maybe wake up earlier
I would have a nice spacious house- I'm moving to one soon
I will feel a sense of inner peace- I can build my own inner world and subjective reality through journaling and thought exercises
I will have mindfulness or lack of negative attacking thoughts- practice Steve's technique for tackling negative thoughts
I would feel a sense of vindication for the societal mistreatment, like the situation was rectified- this is the one I get stuck on
I would be respected, even feared by my enemies- this is the one I typically consider a pipe dream

[ragtag]

I'm sorry, but you need a whole new direction. A new outlook on life. You need to change. This goes way beyond being a recluse. Wanting revenge and your enemies to fear you and all this stuff are, in my opinion, very very bad goals. Not only for your enemies, but also for you. Hate is an emotion that will damage you. You really need to start seeing the bright sides of life, if you ever want to live a fulfilling life. Look for hope, love and ways to help other people, not harm them.

It's time for change!

[Angela]

Well, it's always time for change, just like it's always time for chocolate, but I disagree that CroMagna needs to change or see the bright side of life in order to have a fulfilling life, or that her goals are bad. (Excuse me, CroMagna, I'm referring to you as female; please correct me if I'm wrong.)

She is perfect exactly as she is and exactly as she isn't, and she's on exactly the right path and going in exactly the right direction; she's taking her own right action.

Anyway, I don't believe she actually wishes harm to others. In fact, CroMagna, it looks to me like you would like to make a difference for others, and are merely looking at putting your own oxygen mask on first -- you are taking care of your own needs to increase your personal power. Does that sound right?

[yossarian]

Originally Posted by Angela

you are taking care of your own needs to increase your personal power. Does that sound right?

"Conan, what is good in life?"

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women."

The big issue with making your enemies fear you is whether or not you're willing to do what it takes to achieve that. Bottom line is that if you want people to fear you, you are going to have to cause fear. This is clearly a "negative" behaviour, as in it is "harmful" to the person.

So are you willing to actually harm people by causing them to feel fear?

If not, if you're not willing to do what it takes, then your goal is contradictory to yourself and doesn't make sense.

More likely, you just want respect, and you've confused respect with fear. A very cro-magnon error in thinking.

Everything besides the fear part is totally doable as part of the "positive" path. I would bet that you actually want the positive path but you have some karma to work out with boundaries. Creating and maintaining healthy boundaries and what-not.