Ladder Theory -- an accurate way to explain male/female relationships?

[blazer1]

You definately dont need money, physicality, or intellect to get girls. And girls generally would prefer a guy who can satisfy her emotionally, including sexually.

But, attraction is a different game. Why does a peacock have such large feathers? And why does the peacock with the largest feather prevail more often in mating?

Having money, physicality and intellect means your likelihood to support offspring and the girl is high. A girls job, with limited opportunities to conceive, is to find the most suitable partner. A guys job is to find as many partners.

[Spartan]

Originally Posted by blazer1

A girls job, with limited opportunities to conceive, is to find the most suitable partner. A guys job is to find as many partners.

You are forgetting one important thing; evolution has moved on since the stone age! And a human being is under no obligation to undertake any role or 'job' assigned to their gender (by use of invalid evolutionist arguments). Human beings have sufficient rational faculties to choose otherwise.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Spartan

Do women enjoy scrutinizing men?

No. For my part I was just answering Rob's question. What's the big deal?

[Fullcrum]

Spartan is right, we have no obligation to follow any of our instincts.

But understanding them helps us further comprehend decisions we make.

And if you want to use your instinctual self, be my guest.

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by blazer1

You definately dont need money, physicality, or intellect to get girls. And girls generally would prefer a guy who can satisfy her emotionally, including sexually.

But, attraction is a different game. Why does a peacock have such large feathers? And why does the peacock with the largest feather prevail more often in mating?

Having money, physicality and intellect means your likelihood to support offspring and the girl is high. A girls job, with limited opportunities to conceive, is to find the most suitable partner. A guys job is to find as many partners.

You need it to keep a girlfriend and definitely a wife. Neither will carry you. Anyone who says otherwise is feeding their ego. "I know how to pick up women AND keep them happy." But, in the real world, you don't last long as a broke boyfriend. That's the truth.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Dannyboy1

You need it to keep a girlfriend and definitely a wife. Neither will carry you. Anyone who says otherwise is feeding their ego. "I know how to pick up women AND keep them happy." But, in the real world, you don't last long as a broke boyfriend. That's the truth.

Again, I want to say (and maybe you agree?) that it's not so much the money as the willingness of a man to work and contribute.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

Again, I want to say (and maybe you agree?) that it's not so much the money as the willingness of a man to work and contribute.

That's for sure. It's like vitality -- I don't need my man to be perfectly healthy and fit, but I do prefer to be with a man who takes 100% responsibility for his own health, fitness, vitality and well-being. Same with money. Now that I think about it, that is wayyy more important than money.

[robc]

Originally Posted by Spartan

Not another clichéd, in depth analysis of the qualities women find attractive! Why is this subject so fascinating? Why so much scrutiny for men?

Are men that insecure they have to constantly deliberate over the qualities women find attractive? Are women that self-righteous they have to list every quality under the sun before they consider looks as being important? Do women enjoy scrutinizing men?

Being clueless for most of my life, it feels to good to have a clue and in the end finding out what they like is important - at any rate, important if you want to find a mate.

I wouldn't call it scrutiny either, isn't it just natural to be curious of these things?

You could always start a new thread on what qualities men like the most in women or you could just pose you question here too.

just my 0.02 cents

[fitx3]

I think Spartan should lighten up. Honestly, it's all just for fun. Scrutiny is too much of a serious word, I don't think it's all about that. I think it's kind of fun to express what we find attractive. Robc, I'd like to know what you find attractive in a woman. Just curious.

[Spartan]

Originally Posted by robc

Being clueless for most of my life, it feels to good to have a clue and in the end finding out what they like is important - at any rate, important if you want to find a mate.

I wouldn't call it scrutiny either, isn't it just natural to be curious of these things?

My opinion is that this form of analysis only serves to distract me, and lure me into ways of thinking and being that aren't very productive.

I think it's sometimes best to just let things be, instead of analyzing them to death.

[Fullcrum]

Well, if you really want to know, find people who have and can do what you want, which I assume is get girls. Then look at their mindsets and how they look at things. Adopt them and experiment.

[Spartan]

Originally Posted by fitx3

I think Spartan should lighten up. Honestly, it's all just for fun. Scrutiny is too much of a serious word, I don't think it's all about that. I think it's kind of fun to express what we find attractive. Robc, I'd like to know what you find attractive in a woman. Just curious.

It's been said before. However, don't take it personally, I'm only articulating my point.

What I find attractive in a woman are qualities that I admire in myself.

E.g. Good looks, good health, warm/cheeky smile, intelligence, kindness, openness, honesty, directness, politeness. I also prefer girls who are sexually responsive and explorative. And I think a girl who enjoys exercising is especially attractive, and also a girl who enjoys eating meat!

[fitx3]

Originally Posted by Spartan

It's been said before. However, don't take it personally, I'm only articulating my point.

What I find attractive in a woman are qualities that I admire in myself.

What do you admire about yourself Spartan???

[Spartan]

Originally Posted by fitx3

What do you admire about yourself Spartan???

I've added them to my previous post!

[fitx3]

Nothing beats the Victorian filet with a side of melted blue cheese and a glass of cab sav from the Outback!

[Spartan]

Originally Posted by fitx3

Nothing beats the Victorian filet with a side of melted blue cheese and a glass of cab sav from the Outback!

Lol, you're in.

[Spartan]

Actually, what I'm curious about is how important do both sexes consider sexuality?

Do you prefer a partner who is sexually explorative and willing to try new things? Is this important?

[Fullcrum]

I think this depends on the person.

But it's quite important to me. I think most people are open to exploring. After all, it increases pleasure.

[robc]

Originally Posted by fitx3

I think Spartan should lighten up. Honestly, it's all just for fun. Scrutiny is too much of a serious word, I don't think it's all about that. I think it's kind of fun to express what we find attractive. Robc, I'd like to know what you find attractive in a woman. Just curious.

That's funny because I don't think I've been asked very often what qualities I find attractive in a woman...

1. Physical attraction is a must, you don't have to be anjolie jolie or jessica beil/alba (mind you if you are, "how you doin?") but I must be physically attracted to a woman, it's important to me. But my definition of physical attraction will be different from others I'm sure, I tend to like curvy/voluptuous women whereas I'm sure there are alot of guys that prefer thinner & athletic women... no worries, it's all good!
2. Intelligence is a must, a good conversationalist, someone who has a clue, beauty without brains is very unattractive!
3. A great sense of humor, someone who will laugh at my jokes and has a few of her own
4. Honest, loyal, compassionate, romantic, great eyes & a great smile - those are all at the top of the list too
5. Someone who takes care of their appearance, is clean, looks current (you don't have to be a fashion model), I love long hair on a woman. I used to be into brunettes but blondes & redheads can be fun too
6. I'm not into angry people who like to yell & swear & fight all the time, had that for a long time, don't want it anymore (I guess you don't tend to discover these traits until you're a little further into a relationship). You can have an opinion and stand by it too but just don't run over everyone else including me to express it
7. Healthy sexuality is a must, I like it, my partner would have to like it too
8. Someone who doesn't mind going out and having fun at restaurants, outdoor patios, movies, activity dates, walking, going out for coffee or just staying in at home

So much more I could say about this, how does it sound thus far?

[fitx3]

Originally Posted by Spartan

Actually, what I'm curious about is how important do both sexes consider sexuality?

Do you prefer a partner who is sexually exploitative and willing to try new things? Is this important?

First of all, it's nice to see that you have loosened up QUITE A BIT Spartan! LOL

To answer your questions, uhm.....YEAH and YEAH! Sexuality is extremely important- all facets of it. I believe it's what keeps a couple bonded. Being experimental as long as there is a mutual comfort level, is a must. Especially for couples who are married or committed. I believe if one doesn't keep it interesting, the other may look else where. There are so many things to keep that part of a relationship alive, that is as long as the 2 want to remain together. Nothing can bring back a flat lined sex life if one dislikes the other!

I do have to add after stating the above that unfortunately some women do have sexual issues. Take my best girlfriend for example, she could care less about ever having sex. She just doesn't care for it which is a really sad situation for her husband.

[Spartan]

fitx3, you wrongly quote me as saying: "do you prefer a partner who is sexually exploitative" Exploitative? I said explorative, exploitative is something very different! Lol.

[fitx3]

Aha ha ha ha.....don't try to put that on me Spartan!!! I didn't even catch that! That is too funny. There is no way that I rewrote your word, I just clicked on the quote button. You went back and changed that you funny, funny guy!


Okay...there is no edit on your post so now I'm really confused! How did that word get changed?

[Spartan]

Originally Posted by fitx3

Aha ha ha ha.....don't try to put that on me Spartan!!! I didn't even catch that! That is too funny. There is no way that I rewrote your word, I just clicked on the quote button. You went back and changed that you funny, funny guy!


Okay...there is no edit on your post so now I'm really confused! How did that word get changed?

That is strange, lol. You sure it's not an unconcious 'Freudian slip' on your part?

If not I guess it must be the forum ghost! Or perhaps a moderator's prank?

[fitx3]

Well somebody manifested it I guess. Too funny.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by fitx3

I do have to add after stating the above that unfortunately some women do have sexual issues. Take my best girlfriend for example, she could care less about ever having sex. She just doesn't care for it which is a really sad situation for her husband.

From someone who was in her shoes,she might just not like the guy that much. When i was with my ex bf,the sex with him just didnt do it for me and even the stuff i enjoyed i didnt care to do with him. He ended up thinking i was a prude. In reality,i think about sex probably more than most men and i know i would like it with a guy that i actually liked a lot.