From happy to low to happy and so on...

[pooja]

Hi all!

I am glad I found Steve Pavlina's resources on the web accidentally one day, and today I am a fan of his. Recently though, I started noticing the forums, wherein one can actually write/share their experiences and gain from all that follows

I am here for the same. Though I am new, I can easily get the vibe from all present here on this forum, as I've been reading your posts

My little problem:
Okay, I have this confused state of mind right now. I met this guy online after some yrs (7 to be precise) Me and him used to study in the same high school. Back then, he had a crush on me, well that he told me now some months back, I never knew this in highschool. We are 25 now. Thing is we met some 4 months back online and started chatting. Both of us were single, and he since already liked me then, he was always sweet to me. He devoted massive amt of time to me (we both are in different countries with 12+ hrs difference) by staying up late to chat et al. This went on for 3 months or so. Later, he told me he had been talking to his mom abt me and he likes me a lot. That it had become something more than a physical liking which he held back then in school. But all this while, we hadnt met in person in yrs, just seen recent pics, Thats all. And he seemed too much into me. Like totally. And then one fine day he said "if you want to know, i commit to it, i do, you can take its meaning in any way you want" And then he proposed marriage. Now in the East, marriage is a slightly different concept than the West. So it may sound strange to some of you, but it happens that way in East that the mindset is a little different w.r.t it. So arranged marriages happen, but this is different again. Okay and I was in a shock/happy/confused/nervous state of mind then. He was too sweet and seemed genuine, but i had doubts. I mean i couldn't blindly trust. And i did tell him a few times that i may leave this if i don't find things practically worth. Hearing which, he was very upset.

Now, recently like since 15 days he is traveling. Driving like crazy. And he hasn't really done much to be in touch. Whatever few times we have talked, most of them I have initiated. But he responded fantastically, well almost, so that got me back to happy Though this guy has been too into me, and I have always been the one who was restrained, now its a lil shocking to see him put not much efforts into this. My only assurance is his words, which if i dont get i dont know how would this go on. He is on a work related trip, which is also an adventurous one. So he is having fun working crazy and traveling. But I am concerned. Though I had told him "lets take it forward", i dont know how this flies now.

Do you guys think that its absolutely OK not to really initiate any communication in 2 weeks or so, for a guy who has been head over heels in love with you? He is busy, but is it okay still? Or is he testng me? My patience, or my interest in him?

Thanks!!

[pooja]

Some advice please!

[dancer]

Hi Pooja,

Welcome to the forums. Would love to give you some advice, but I'm not sure I can.

Originally Posted by pooja

And i did tell him a few times that i may leave this if i don't find things practically worth. Hearing which, he was very upset.

I didn't quite understand the meaning of your sentence above. Were you telling him you might back out of the relationship if the practical side of the relationship did not work or if you found the relationship not of worth?

Either way, he may be feeling a little insecure after hearing this. Not coming from the same culture as you, I am not sure what the natural reaction might be. Is it possible he is more traditional than you?

It is also very possible that him being out on business travel he has less time to devote to you.