taking things personally

[learningtogrow]

It's come to my attention through lots of self analysis that I take things way too personally. With my husband, I get defensive and angry, but with friends or others that I don't know that well, I just feel hurt and upset. It could be over the littlest thing.

For example, I teach a specialized program for people, and one week one of my students just decided not to come or call me. I took it personally. Did I offend her in some way? Or some friends got together recently and we got an invite last minute. I took it personally and didn't go. I could go on and on and on (especially with situations involving my husband:-) but those are just the most recent. I physically get a knot in my stomach when these things occur.

Intellectually, I know this is silly. I know I can't control what others think of me, but I can't seem to practice it. I know that it's their issue and not mine and I need to focus on me, but it's been difficult on a gut level, literally, to know that in my bones. I know this comes from fears of rejection and abandonment and there are situations in my childhood that are plain as day as to why I'm like this, but it's time to get beyond it and I need some help.

Any suggestions on techniques I could use or a better way to understand it?
Thanks!

[Angela]

You've got some old pain that's getting reactivated.

Can you identify a recurring thought pattern when you "take something personally"? I mean: a judgement or chastisement about yourself, like, "I'm so stupid" or "Nobody loves me" or "Am I annoying you?"?

Take a look.

[sonicpunk32]

I'm always like this too. I get offended when people disagree with me, offended when people ignore me (which is 95% of the time), etc, etc. I learned that it's cause of a lack of trust in my self and in what the universe is doing for me. I'd blame myself and feel depressed that these things happen to me. But, I realized there are things you cant control because there is a higher power that controls them for whatever reason.