I'm stifled around my parents

[Flash1988]

Hi everyone

Heres a big issue I've been putting off. My parents. I can't express myself freely around them. There's more chance of me being fully expressive outside with a group of friends I'm comfortable with. It's really weird.

If my friend comes to my house and my parents are around I cut off 90% of conversation. I'm comfortable talking but can't say certain things like I don't want my parents to judge it.

I care more about what my parents think of me than what a stranger does.
With strangers, it's like a blank slate so you can do anything.
With certain people who live in my area like from childhood I just can't express myself.

My dads very negative, judgmental and has weak mindsets.
I'm more comfortable around my mum but still I restrict myself. She's very critical, judgemental etc.

It seriously feels impossible for me to "just be cool" around them.

Has anyone had this or sorted this issue, please respond.

[JimOfferman]

Why do you fear your parent's judgment so?

Let's say, hypothetically, you spoke your mind and then your dad would call you a bad son for what you said. How much would that statement say about you, really?

The correct answer is: nothing!

If you are being true to who you are and your dad calls you a bad son for it, it says a lot about him, but nothing about you.

Here's a thought: nothing your parents say about you (good or bad) can make or break you! You have all the power now.

(plus there is a good chance that your parent's aren't half as bad as you think)

[MrNotebook]

Maybe its because you respect them. I used to think it was weird to not be the same person around my parents that I was around my friends. It's ok.

It's actually quite normal to assume a different role depending on who we are with at the time. It's closely related to how we interact socially. When I was in high school I could curse around my friends, however had to watch my tongue when around family members, particularly parents.

Over time (as you mature), you will pretty much project a more consisent you to all and everyone.

[Flash1988]

Yea its just pretty weird like cos I'm used to talking one way around friends and one way around mum and dad.

The situation seems to have changed today, seems better now I've made a post about it. I posted on another forum as well and others said they have the same thing.


Thank u both