Contentment ceases further social connection.

[Mewwy]

Do people stop improving when they deem themselves to be already living in their own contentment? Do people not seek more fulfillment when little source of social connection is enough? Do people stop expanding social diversity when they are able to live soulfully independent, knowing love is what it is, love is present, and that there is always love in "you"?

Can "ourselves" become all we ever need? Do you agree or disagree?

***

As Erin suggested in her blog, if you are able to treat a stranger as someone as the "same" as you are, or someone just as dear and close as you can be with your best friend, family, or significant other, you will establish connection with the person.

Personally I've been attracted to the idea of devoting to community volunteering. Yes, the idea of giving love and not expecting anything in return is idealistic, but it is actually preventing me from making truly "personal" friends.

Even when people realize and appreciate your generosity and open mind, they may not feel truly connected to who you really are, even when you are truly willing to provide love and care! This observation of mine has surprised me from my experience of helping others.

Recently, I have been able to achieve very stable and content mental state on my own. I feel like my independent life is fulfilled. I always have a way to deal with loneliness and make myself content again quickly. I can stay with how my life already is, but deep down in me I believe life should be better if I ask strive for deeper, soulful connection from others. I shouldn't settle for personal contentment. I should ask for something more from volunteering. I should go out there and expand my social horizon not only for others but my own joy.

An example of my dilemma is my retrospection of my last romantic relationship. I always felt being in deep love with my ex, to the point where ordinary, non-romantic activities could satisfy me. Eating together, sleeping together, doing chores together made me happy. Every small touch and glimpse in each other eyes filled my hearted with warmth. I was always ready to provide some energy for my ex'es motivation and love for him, in emotive affections or in concrete and practical discussions. However, my ex did not felt the same. Deep down he felt something was missing. Activities that I'm satisfied with did not make him satisfied. I also could not make him move forward in his life to the direction that was ideal for himself, or for us, because I thought I was already fine myself so whatever he furthermore wished was fine with me. We discovered that our emotional and spiritual wavelength were rarely on the same level and we fell apart.

I healed up really fast after that relationship, but deep down I feel a great loss. I still miss living a mutual love life. I feel like I'm capable for that kind of life where I would ask for love and more development in return, but I also feel like part of me isn't ready.

Afterall, how do I not settle with personal contentment and start having real, deeper connections with others?

[Vasilisa]

Do you have any close friends? Do you have good relationship with your closest relatives? You can start giving love to them and connecting with them on deeper levels.

[Mewwy]

Yes, I am very close with my family, especially my dad. He knows my deepest troubles and also understands my real joy. It's my luck to be born to him because the capacity of connection is deep.

However my interaction of my family is also contributing to the self-contentment thing, making me not used to go out and expand other soulful connections! I do not have any close friends at the moment, and old friends drifted apart. Family connections could hardly ever but cut away, but I moved to a new country and have grown culturally different that showing love to old friends is a very hard thing to do. Any more advice?

[Vasilisa]

May be, that's why you feel lonely - living far from your family and old
friends. And that guy was a only person who you could connect to in a new place?
I had an experience like that many years ago. It has changed though. I started meeting more friends in a new place and my life was getting fuller every day.
And later I met another guy and etc... Just give it time, I guess and stay open for other opportunities.