|05-29-2008, 05:40 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Toronto, ON
Too direct a thread or question, I think.
I don't know of anyone, personally, with a family mission statement.
Would it make sense? Would it help? Of course, to those who wrote and observed it.
Is it too rigid? Maybe.
Can you opt out of a family if you don't agree with the mission statement? I think not.
|05-29-2008, 07:59 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2007
I dont know what exactly a "family mission statement" is, but I think I know mine. My mom's grandparents, and her 10 brothers and sisters, they all grew up with basically one mission, to get straight A's, excelle at everything, and go to college. It seems like my mom is always on the phone with her sisters, talking about the rest of the family and how they are doing in terms of school and success. I have like 30 cousins, and they're always being pushed to excell at school.
|06-01-2008, 12:54 AM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2006
I dont agree with the idea of Family Mission statement. I agree with certain values being important and that is it.
This is why: My parents are too scared to let me be. I have to fight continuously to do what I want to do. I live with them so they expect me to follow their rules. Now, they also want us all to stay together as a family with good relationships. However, what they aren't seeing too well is that I am an adult and I have different desires and needs. I do not agree with a lot of things they do and believe in. I feel like I have no say in how my relationship should be with them. They expect me to do what they think is right. But I don't and that leads us to fights.
So, I realized that not even parents have that much right over their kids. You have kids because YOU want to. You have kids for a selfish reason, so you can not claim that because you are their father/mother, the kids better listen to you. YOU, as a parent, has to listen to them too. For my family, the most important thing has been academic success and being "good people" in a very, narrow, cultural way. They are not happy if you do something along those lines, but still different.
If you have to have a family mission statement, if I have one, whenever I have kids and all, it will be something like UNDERSTANDING others, no judgments, complete honesty to yourself and others. I wouldn't want my kids to feel like they can't talk to me because I hold different views than them. I am far from having kids and I don't know how it feels to be a mother. But I really wont have any right to stop them from living their lives the way they want. The only other thing I would want them to live by is consciousness of morality.
I know I am drawing boundaries here. This is what I will try. If they break those boundaries, I won't be able to do much, cos it WILL be their life. I will continue to accept them, as difficult as that might be. Having kids is a big responsibility.
What I am wondering right now is, is it ok for a parent to not accept their kid because they don't agree with the way they live their life. Hm, I guess they can. There's nothing stopping them. But if I am having kids, I think I need to take the responsibility to provide them with the love and acceptance they'll need.
What is the role of a parent in an adult's life? How important are parents to independent adults? (I am not independent yet, so I wouldn't know).
Last edited by Yellow; 06-01-2008 at 12:59 AM.
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