Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

PerDev · 05-22-2008, 05:23 PM

some of my friends has the experience that lending money to your dears and relatives would spoil the relationship as when you would ask and expect your money they would react in strange way and that would harm overall relationship

If we should then when should we lend? what is your relatives has lot of other ways to get the money they want?

Would it be better to say NO once then to ask lot of times when you would need it and spoil relationship

{aspiring_to_clarity} · 05-22-2008, 05:28 PM

I say give money to the relatives if you would like to help and then be pleasantly surprised if they decide to give it back to you.

Love · 05-22-2008, 05:40 PM

I like Aspiring to Clarity's idea. I did just this thing. My dad wanted me to help him out. I decided to give 1,000 to him (and I am by no means in any sense of the word rich) and I didn't think of ever getting it back. It was just a gift. If he never chose to give me the same money back, I would still be okay. I think that the key is this: if you're going to loan--or even give--never give so much that you're afraid to lose it.

ivorytickler · 05-22-2008, 10:28 PM

No. I'm not a bank. I will give them money but I won't lend it. If their situation is bad enough for me to help, I help but I'm not playing collection agent. That can ruin family relations. It's a gift when given.

Jennihul · 05-23-2008, 10:03 PM

If I have spare cash and a relative who isn't a loser, cheater, liar or slug needs money, I will give without the expectation of it being returned. If they have abused the generosity in the past, or seem to expect it repeatedly, I don't.

Jennifer

PerDev · 05-24-2008, 08:46 AM

No, Its big money they are asking and also have known their history of giving back is not soo good - But the problem is they are making me emotional and saying if you do not we would break the relationship

Jennihul · 05-24-2008, 06:15 PM

Then blow them off with a fervor. I like the phrase: "Kiss my fat white ass" personally.

Jennifer

jpiers · 05-26-2008, 12:16 PM

Yes we can lend to them as long as they won't abuse you and make exact payment on time,

PerDev · 05-26-2008, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jennihul

Then blow them off with a fervor. I like the phrase: "Kiss my fat white ass" personally.

Jennifer

Yes in this case its better to be straight forword without much thinking about the effect it would have on relationship as its not just giving but both way

05-22-2008, 05:23 PM	#1 (permalink)
PerDev Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 591	Should we lend money to the relatives some of my friends has the experience that lending money to your dears and relatives would spoil the relationship as when you would ask and expect your money they would react in strange way and that would harm overall relationship If we should then when should we lend? what is your relatives has lot of other ways to get the money they want? Would it be better to say NO once then to ask lot of times when you would need it and spoil relationship

05-22-2008, 05:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
{aspiring_to_clarity} Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Texas, USA Posts: 3,709 ${aspiring_to_clarity} will become famous soon enough$	I say give money to the relatives if you would like to help and then be pleasantly surprised if they decide to give it back to you.
${aspiring_to_clarity} is offline$

05-23-2008, 10:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
Jennihul Family Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 1,031	If I have spare cash and a relative who isn't a loser, cheater, liar or slug needs money, I will give without the expectation of it being returned. If they have abused the generosity in the past, or seem to expect it repeatedly, I don't. Jennifer Last edited by Jennihul; 05-24-2008 at 06:14 PM.

05-24-2008, 08:46 AM	#6 (permalink)
PerDev Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 591	Its big money No, Its big money they are asking and also have known their history of giving back is not soo good - But the problem is they are making me emotional and saying if you do not we would break the relationship

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05-22-2008, 05:40 PM	#3 (permalink)
Love Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 513	I like Aspiring to Clarity's idea. I did just this thing. My dad wanted me to help him out. I decided to give 1,000 to him (and I am by no means in any sense of the word rich) and I didn't think of ever getting it back. It was just a gift. If he never chose to give me the same money back, I would still be okay. I think that the key is this: if you're going to loan--or even give--never give so much that you're afraid to lose it.

05-22-2008, 10:28 PM	#4 (permalink)
ivorytickler Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 66	No. I'm not a bank. I will give them money but I won't lend it. If their situation is bad enough for me to help, I help but I'm not playing collection agent. That can ruin family relations. It's a gift when given.

05-24-2008, 06:15 PM	#7 (permalink)
Jennihul Family Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 1,031	Then blow them off with a fervor. I like the phrase: "Kiss my fat white ass" personally. Jennifer

05-26-2008, 12:16 PM	#8 (permalink)
jpiers Junior Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 1	Yes we can lend to them as long as they won't abuse you and make exact payment on time,

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Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

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