older woman / younger man again

[mammamia]

Hi all. Just joined the forum because i was googling an answer to my prob and found someone with a similar problem who had posted here. You all gave such good comments and advice thought i'd try you out with mine. so here's the situation:

I'm turning 36 this year. I met a guy at my place of work a while back, but never really bothered too much about him because he was a client. I work in a bar and guys generally come here to pick up women, so i have never even bothered to think about going out with any of them even though they try.

somehow my guy got into a relationship with one of our regular 'ladies' and i actually thought they'd work out but a few months down the road they split up. I have always had a good relationship with the guy biz wise, but i guess he had an eye on me for a while (horribly conceited as that sounds) and after the breakup he somehow convinced me to go out with him one night (this was about a month ago) and we've gone out several times since.

Nothing major has happened yet - a few kisses, but i'm not ready to go further than that which he SEEMS ok with. i have a child turning 4 who he knows about although they haven't met. He knows that i'm older but i don't think he knows how much older (he's just turned 25).

i'm kind of obsessing about him now though and i find that a bit scary. I have gone out with guys a year or 2 younger before but this is a BIG gap! And to add to that the fact i haven't had sex for more than 4 years so if we get into that...

he is hinting that he wants to introduce me to his family which is what really got me searching for good advice. Anyone with anything to say? I think it's a little soon to be intro'd to his family, but he seems confident it will be ok.

regardless of the family thing i don't know if i should keep on with this and i keep having the strangest dreams which i can't figure out if they're telling me to run really fast away from him or TO him...

somebody tell me something please!

thanks in advance

[Fullcrum]

The age gap is fine. If you guys are attracted to each other and click, let things progress naturally. Realize that an age gap is a social construct, it shouldn't stop you unless it's "illegal", and then we're dealing with man-made laws.

[JimOfferman]

Just follow your heart... that big gap is nothing to worry about... it's just a number, that's all. If it feels good, it is good and if it doesn't it is not - it's THAT simple!

[Angela]

Yeah, just don't lie... and remember that withholding is lying.

That rule is for your benefit, not his, by the way.

[frajilthunder]

Even if you did want to follow custom, you're still good. Half plus seven is the accepted norm for the age gap limit from what I hear.

Also, four years without sex!?! I usually shy away from specific advice, but I strongly suggest that you get a babysitter and a condom and invite him over!

[mammamia]

thanks for comments and advice every1. still a little worried, but will let you all know how it turns out...