Is becoming a player that bad

[freddy]

After months of sex with my hand. ( and my hand wants a out) I have found that most women will not jump into bed with you if you ask them for a sexual encounter. So I'm looking into playing women and have been finding some intresting stuff. But why is it the women will fall for these type of tactics, VS Just being able to be straight forward and saying yes to sex if asked directly.
I think the only way that a women would jump right into bed if asked directly, would be if you where well know rock star of actor.....I don't get it. The women want sex to. so whats the problem? Laddies could you let the kitty out of the bag. (no pun intended) Peace

[Perfect Sunday]

Almost always, no woman will sleep with you if asked directly and bluntly.
Not even a caveman would have such a lack of tact.

There's no problem.
Sex carries disproportionately higher consequences for a woman than it does for a man.
They don't want to have an "oops" with a looser.

So, they're seeking the winners.

Can you blame them?


As an aside, I find this hilarious:

I have found that most women will not jump into bed with you if you ask them for a sexual encounter.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by freddy

After months of sex with my hand. ( and my hand wants a out) I have found that most women will not jump into bed with you if you ask them for a sexual encounter. So I'm looking into playing women and have been finding some intresting stuff. But why is it the women will fall for these type of tactics, VS Just being able to be straight forward and saying yes to sex if asked directly.
I think the only way that a women would jump right into bed if asked directly, would be if you where well know rock star of actor.....I don't get it. The women want sex to. so whats the problem? Laddies could you let the kitty out of the bag. (no pun intended) Peace

I have never had sex with a guy i wasn't going out with,so i can only guess why other girls fall for players,but i would think that it's because you are giving them the impression that you like them as more than just a one night stand. That's why playing works better than being honest,cuz i dont think most women are too into one night stands,and they get led on. Are you against relationships?

[Plato]

Originally Posted by freddy

I have found that most women will not jump into bed with you if you ask them for a sexual encounter.

Most eh?

Spill Freddy.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Where are you looking for women to have a one off sexual encounter with? How are you approaching them? I think if you put an add on Craigslist you might have some luck. And probably in lots of bars too.

My thoughts on players and dishonest guys are all over the forums so I won't repeat all that. Suffice it to say, I think it's low.

Good luck.

[freddy]

Rockchick26 No I not against a relationship. But that can take weeks and months to get to any sex relationship.

Perfect Sunday you wrote Sex carries disproportionately higher consequences for a woman than it does for a man.
They don't want to have an "oops" with a looser.

So, they're seeking the winners.

Following that line of thinking means the player is the winner. Becauce he sleeps with more girls, than the average nice polite guy could even dream about.
So I walk up to a attractive girl make small talk, Put out what's on my mine (if she has'nt figured that most men have sex as their top 3 thing to think about in a day) And she thinks to herself well he has a nice smile, Nice shoes,yada yada, yada, Then simple yes let go. But No it takes going out to dinner, going shopping, trying to show you can pay for nice things. This starts to look just like prostitution when you look at it. Exchanging dinner, putt putt golf, movie,and whatever else she can get out of the guy, before putting out. She has in that sense,become the player. Or the prostitute. I know this post sound bitter but it my frustration talking. So I'm sorry to whom ever I might offend. All You Girls and guy are great to even reply.

Plato I think I maybe changing my handle to captain c--k-in-a-sock







0

[Niki]

If you want sex, pay a h**ker but please don't trick women in something you don't want to be tricked in yourself. It's not only the sex but also the dignity.

Peace

[Plato]

Originally Posted by freddy

But No it takes going out to dinner, going shopping, trying to show you can pay for nice things. This starts to look just like prostitution when you look at it. Exchanging dinner, putt putt golf, movie,and whatever else she can get out of the guy, before putting out. She has in that sense,become the player. Or the prostitute.

A gold digging wife is nothing more than a high class hoooooe. Not all women who want to go on dates are like that though. Some just want to know you love them first because they're afraid of forming an emotional attachment and then getting hurt. That's the way I see it.

[frajilthunder]

Originally Posted by Niki

If you want sex, pay a h**ker but please don't trick women in something you don't want to be tricked in yourself. It's not only the sex but also the dignity.

Peace

Yeah, if you want "no effort" sex, this is your best choice IMO. But what's wrong with having a little good clean fun with some women? That's what leads to sex anyway, but if you're going into it just looking for sex, women pick up on that and tag you as a desparate loser. My advice would be to go out to bars, festivals, whatever you like to meet girls. Not for sex, but for fun. Laugh, smile, tell stories, lightly non-threateningly touch them on their arm when you speak (the subtle, non-verbal way of saying I'd like a sexual encounter with you). Do that enough and you'll find a girl that gives you signals that she wants sex.

[Angela]

Freddy, how about a trip to Club Med (one of the adult clubs, like Cancun)?

You can't really miss there.

[Parthon]

I don't see why it's not possible to be honest, charismatic, and responsible while being a "player" as you put it. My only problem is that if you are one of those guys that has to trick women into sleeping with them by leading them on and giving them false promises just to get them in the sack, then you are making yourself less of a person and more of an animal, giving into your urges and lowering your vibration.

If you follow the very suave and very sophisticated gentlemen and how they interact they have a grounding of character which gives them their charismatic good looks and that's what gets them the women so often. They cherish and value the women they seduce, they make them feel like they are the most important and beautiful woman in the world, and then promise them a night of passion and adventure, all the while being straight forward and honest about their intentions. I think most women would agree with me when I say that it's the men that most make you feel valued and worthy that are attractive to you.

However, if all you want is the sex, and you're willing to lie and cheat to get it, then I would say avoid these personal development forums. But if you are willing to improve your character and then work on how to value, cherish, and impress women, then I say go for it.

[sheffy4]

Originally Posted by freddy

Perfect Sunday you wrote Sex carries disproportionately higher consequences for a woman than it does for a man.
They don't want to have an "oops" with a looser.

So, they're seeking the winners.

Following that line of thinking means the player is the winner. Becauce he sleeps with more girls, than the average nice polite guy could even dream about.

0

By "winner" I think perfect sunday meant a guy that is kind, intelligent, responsible, that kind of thing. Not "winning" in the sense of who can sleep with the most women.

I think I can offer you a little female perspective here, because I went through a phase a couple years ago when I just wanted to be a "player." Mostly I just thought the "game" was fun. I enjoyed testing flirting techniques on guys, and seeing how successful I could be in attracting hot, fun men. I think that just having fun like this is just fine, as long as everyone is honest. You don't have to scare the girl away by bluntly propositioning her, but you can make your intentions known by how you act. Flirt a lot, admire her body (with with your eyes, or by making tasteful comments), dance with her in a provocative (not sleazy) way. Whenever I felt like just meeting hot guys to have fun with, I would go to a club with my friends. The sexual vibe is already very high because of the thumping music, dancing, sexy clothes, and alcohol.
I don't know if this will help or not, but maybe try connecting with the girl through eye contact before you approach her. If I saw a hot guy I wanted to get to know, I would give him "the eye" through out the night, and this lets them know I am interested. Just please make sure she is sober enough to make clear-headed decisions. Don't take advantage of anyone.

[freddy]

I think when it's all said and done. I will probably Just go about my old way of meeting women. I'm old school anyhow, and would not feel good about myself.
knowingly take atvantage of a girl like that. But it seems unfair, that men where created with a super charged sex drive. And women, with a take it or leave it operating sex system.: At least that the way it seems. ( Thanks again for all the post everyone) Peace to you all. Freddy

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Parthon

I don't see why it's not possible to be honest, charismatic, and responsible while being a "player" as you put it. My only problem is that if you are one of those guys that has to trick women into sleeping with them by leading them on and giving them false promises just to get them in the sack, then you are making yourself less of a person and more of an animal, giving into your urges and lowering your vibration.

If you follow the very suave and very sophisticated gentlemen and how they interact they have a grounding of character which gives them their charismatic good looks and that's what gets them the women so often. They cherish and value the women they seduce, they make them feel like they are the most important and beautiful woman in the world, and then promise them a night of passion and adventure, all the while being straight forward and honest about their intentions. I think most women would agree with me when I say that it's the men that most make you feel valued and worthy that are attractive to you.

However, if all you want is the sex, and you're willing to lie and cheat to get it, then I would say avoid these personal development forums. But if you are willing to improve your character and then work on how to value, cherish, and impress women, then I say go for it.

Good post, Parthon. I think being a "player" has the connotation of dishonesty. But sleeping with lots of women in and of itself is not a bad thing and can be done by becoming a magnetic person, without resorting to lies and deception.

Originally Posted by freddy

I think when it's all said and done. I will probably Just go about my old way of meeting women. I'm old school anyhow, and would not feel good about myself.
knowingly take atvantage of a girl like that. But it seems unfair, that men where created with a super charged sex drive. And women, with a take it or leave it operating sex system.: At least that the way it seems. ( Thanks again for all the post everyone) Peace to you all. Freddy

Glad to hear that you have rethought taking advantage of women. I'll let you in on a secret though...we can have just as high or higher sex drive as the men.

[missing]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

Glad to hear that you have rethought taking advantage of women. I'll let you in on a secret though...we can have just as high or higher sex drive as the men.

shh, you're being a traitor to the "sisterhood". You need to make men maintain the illusion that women don't like sex, so she can play the deed off like she's doing him a favor. And thus he "owes" her for it.

btw, the reason most women don't jump into bed with you when you ask them too is cause of social conditioning. Even if they want to they will feel like a slut and thus decline. You have to be subtle as to how you do things, but you still need a clear obvious plan to make the sex happen (turn her on, get her out of public so she can escape judgment etc.). If you are serious I'd recommend looking for the material of a PUA "guru" known as "Gunwitch". I think most PUA stuff is distracting and a waste of time/money but I found this guy useful for basic "re-callibrating" of ones natural self. Social conditioning messes most men up badly. They have these strange artificial ideas about how the mating game works (such as women don't like sex).

[Marth]

pretty sad when a person changes their personality to more align with what the general population of the other gender might want from you. Just be yourself, if the sex doesnt come it's not the end; you will be a lot stronger person if you be what your best at & want to be. The OP is gold, I lol'd , nice Freddy

[Kingston]

How you will get women depends on how aware you are of human nature. First, most guys are out to 'score', and that's ok, but you will not get laid or love consistently until you have both character and style. You need a strong base of social skill and personality, which develops by taking on life's challenges. After that you need basic chemistry too. Even when you have character, not every girl fits you.

[RT Wolf]

IMO being a player isn't "bad". For me, it seems too inauthentic and inorganic. As if you're putting on an act. The second thing is that then you are treating women as means to an end (personal satisfaction) rather than ends in themselves.

All that said, I always wondered about this: There are some guys who do the stuff that's in the player literature naturally. IE that's just a part of who they are rather than being forced. And there's the guys who, instead of seeing themselves as taking advantage of women or influencing them into doing something they're not interested in, see themselves as simply wanting to share a good time with another like-minded person.

Tha tmakes me think that at least some guys have some sheepishness about sex, too, as if its something bad or our drives are something to be held back (this is almost certainly social conditioning). Some men are conditioned to be less forthright or even to suppress their sexual agressiveness, if its something to be covered up or to be shy about. Still not sure about this one, sexuality is a tricky topic in our society.

[jaamkie]

I think the real issue isnt that women dont want sex immediately, its that ideally everyone wants sex AND a relationship to develop, and a lot of men have this double standard where they will happily sleep with a woman right away but then will write her off as "too easy" to date- not that all men are this way, but there's enough of them out there to make it a risky choice- earlier sex vs a chance at a relationship; and it would suck to be rejected just because you're "too easy", so women tend to resist. Of course my personal view is that men who can be that self-righteous and hypocritical are not worth dating, so it's ok if they write me off because then at least I haven't wasted my time either.

[garentee]

Women have to guard the eggs.. they cannot risk anyone that is unsavory getting through. Of course it does happen quite often. but that is a theory. (not my own as told to me by a good friend who knows things such as this being a woman and all)

[Freelancer]

Guys, if you are interested in finding out a source where you can learn to 'pick-up' women (or rather become a naturally attractive MAN) check out RSDnation.com.
Oh yeah they actually advocate honesty and being clear about your intentions (mostly through the way you act, women ain't stupid and they will pick this up).

Huge pile of information, read some of it and start applying.

[catfightreport]

Hey, I like to wrestle with women.

Turns me on, turns them on, win/win.

I like it just the same when they wrestle each other.

Man, I love win/win situations.

Woo-hoo!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by freddy

Rockchick26 No I not against a relationship. But that can take weeks and months to get to any sex relationship.

Well,isnt the end result better if you had to wait and work a little for it? lol

So I walk up to a attractive girl make small talk, Put out what's on my mine (if she has'nt figured that most men have sex as their top 3 thing to think about in a day) And she thinks to herself well he has a nice smile, Nice shoes,yada yada, yada, Then simple yes let go. But No it takes going out to dinner, going shopping, trying to show you can pay for nice things. This starts to look just like prostitution when you look at it. Exchanging dinner, putt putt golf, movie,and whatever else she can get out of the guy, before putting out. She has in that sense,become the player. Or the prostitute.

Well,like i said,the girl thinks this is going somewhere other than just to bed. You shouldn't just sleep with someone after knowing them for an hour or two. Sex is better anyway if you know the person.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by freddy

But it seems unfair, that men where created with a super charged sex drive. And women, with a take it or leave it operating sex system.: At least that the way it seems.

Speaking for myself and maybe some other women,i have a VERY high sex drive,i fantasize about it almost all day. But,i've still only had sex with one guy because i need to be in love (or at least think i am LOL),then it means so much more. It would be way too awkward for me to have sex then basically get my clothes on and leave,never seeing the guy again. Well,seeing him again would be more awkward,really. So i refuse to be used or use others,i want to have feelings before i have sex.

[freddy]

Rockchick26 Thanks for your ideas and insight on this. What you said makes scents, if I try and put myself in a girls shoes. ( note: I meant that from a point of view stand point . Not actually wearing girl shoes.)

Thanks to other that mention some other great tips for meeting and reading signal that women give to men. I am completly out in left field, at this time, when it comes to this kinda thing. Freddy Peace

[Jennihul]

If you were standing in the presence of your higher self, would he/she approve?

Use that as your criteria for all choices in life and you can't ever make a mistake.

Jennifer

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

My thoughts on players and dishonest guys are all over the forums so I won't repeat all that. Suffice it to say, I think it's low.

Not all players are necessarily dishonest. I submit to you the brutally open, honest, and immoral Tucker Max. While perhaps not the finest role model one could have, he has much to teach on the value of honesty with both yourself and others.

[missing]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

Not all players are necessarily dishonest. I submit to you the brutally open, honest, and immoral Tucker Max. While perhaps not the finest role model one could have, he has much to teach on the value of honesty with both yourself and others.

I just read the main page and frankly I'm not impressed. If I go around scamming little old ladies and then post a website about it admitting what a tool I am, does that really make it ok? Probably not the best comparison but it was all I could come up with on the spot. To be fair I should try and read the rest of his site which might have some value.

All that said; I have to defend some guys who become "players", or at least adapt a bit of that mentality. While I'm not really one myself, I do feel I need to become one in order to get any sexual attention from females. Would I prefer it? No, I'd rather have a relationship where I'm 100% open and honest. I'd rather acquire such a relationship by being open and honest 100%. But the chance of that happening are akin to the chance of monkey's flying out of my butt. I have to be somewhat of a "player" lest I get shut out of the game entirely. I don't condone men who f*ck + chuck a lot of women, in fact I think they are pricks. But the average guy who learns some of said man's tactics to avoid being taken advantage and rejected by women? That's perfectly understandable. The alternative is to be celibate. I guess women who deride player tactics would prefer 90% of men remain celibate while they share the 10% of alpha males of their choosing. Yea, sounds like a fair arrangement to me! Certainly women will deny thinking such, but that's the subtext behind their derision of players.

[Fullcrum]

If you want to have sex with a lot of girls, go and do it. Just remember to use protection.

Becoming a "player" is not bad. What do you think of when you think of players? If you think it's a guy who has tons of sex and one night stands, by all means, if you want it, go and do it. If you don't want it, for God's sake don't do it because someone told you to. However, if you want to use manipulation, tricks and other such things to band-aid your true core self, that is definitely moving away from who you really are, and you shouldn't pursue that route. With that in mind, go out and socialize a lot with the kind of people you want to meet, and whenever you feel an ego flare up (a "mood"), just maintain emotional stability and control, and lead. Have no fear or hesitation. Basically, be cool . It's natural and easy.

[Blueguy]

Why do you want to be a player? A player is not a good thing. Instead of obsessing over sex, why not focus on the more important aspects in your life? Like finding a girlfriend you can get along with who makes you feel great. Then you can focus on the sex.