Is becoming a player that bad

[Fullcrum]

Blueguy - Who or what determines what is an important aspect of one's life? What will stop the OP from getting what he wants? That really does depend, though, on what we want, and whatever influences what we want should be questioned or at least examined and looked into.

[Jennihul]

Blue makes an excellent point. While sex may seem like it makes the world go round at a certain point in your life, or at a certain age, it's really ego trying to get you to ignore the things that will make you a better person, grow you and subsequently need less of him. Ego that is.

Jennifer

[Perfect Sunday]

More 0.02

Originally Posted by Blueguy

Why do you want to be a player? A player is not a good thing. Instead of obsessing over sex, why not focus on the more important aspects in your life? Like finding a girlfriend you can get along with who makes you feel great. Then you can focus on the sex.

From "a Player's" point of view:
How the heck is he supposed to find a girlfriend if he doesn't have the balls to go talk with her?

Or, how will he ask her for her number, if he has trouble breathing while near her?

How would he approach a group of girls, and introduce himself, if he's sweating cold and shivering from the nervousness?

Yes people... there ARE guys like that out there.
I see them all the time.
I don't coach them, but I help them.

Originally Posted by Jennihul

Blue makes an excellent point. While sex may seem like it makes the world go round at a certain point in your life, or at a certain age, it's really ego trying to get you to ignore the things that will make you a better person, grow you and subsequently need less of him. Ego that is.

I agree with you that sex can be the center of one's life, at a certain age, yet I do believe that sex makes the world go round.
No sex, no more humans!

It's normal to want to hook-up with the hot twins... or the successful, charming guy.

Curious, but my "drive for sex" has made me improve leaps and bounds in terms of my character, personal effectiveness, business life, relationships, and my integrity as a man.

[Plato]

I don't want to discuss the moral rights and wrongs of anything. What I want to suggest is the potential of learning to attract the most beautiful women as a fast-track pathwat to IMMENSE personal growth. Whatever the perception of players may be, the seduction community's outlook is that mastery of social dynamics is a path to self actualization and vice versa. Being a "player" to get laid or find that "perfect girl" (as Hollywood would want us to do) is where it begins. But most of the people who become true masters (like expert performers in all fields) come from a place of suffering that motivates them forward to take massive action that eventually leads to something beautiful.

See, becoming a master of social skills and seduction is fantastic when done as an ART. I'm talking about personal development through attaining a level where you go far beyond satisfying a need for sex and emotional connections with women. Needless to say, after devoting yourself to improvement in this area will result in that, along with dazzling self-presentation and social skills which will provide you with masterful powers of influence but that is just an added bonus. Like with bodybuilding, it is not neccessary to grow bigger muscles beyond a certain point but you do because it has an intrinsic value to you. A "player" goes out to satisfy his needs and a beginning bodybuilder works out to look good. But pursuit of excellence goes far beyond satisfying needs and the joy of the pursuit is intrinsic to all art- including all sports, academic greatness, music, martial arts, business...

However, I believe that the art of socialising is one of the most rewarding to devote yourself, because while some arts will lead to a neglection of some needs, this demands a well rounded character. Good health is imperative, and an exciting career never hurt a man's chances. Basically this requires developing every aspect of who you are to achieve success-

strength of character
self esteem
confidence
personal standards
emotional maturity
an attitude of abundance
and yes, even spirituality

With this you're going to also need vital life skills such as decision making, creativity, individuality, spontaneity, adaptabilty, resourcefulness, time management, courage to act in the face of anxiety, and discipline and determination to handle set backs. I used to be heavily into development through this but I lost motivation after achieving a certain degree of success. The problem stemmed from becoming to results orientated rather than focussing on becoming better. At the heart of it all is the ability to separate results from your estimation of who you are. It's a realisation that what matters most isn't where you are but the direction you're facing --> towards the horizon of GROWTH. Now I recognise this I am going to take this to a whole new level and I invite other men to do the same. The only qualification you need is to not be TOO good looking because that takes away some of the fun!