Looking for advice on a girl I was seeing.

[Transcendent]

I temporarily moved to a new city for work. I met a girl that came into my work a lot. She seemed really great but there were a couple problems.

She told me she was moving out of state within the month.
I didn't know how long my job assignment would last, it's usually a few months.
I had to work over 100 hours a week so I didn't have any free time.

We talked about it a bit and I told her it would be better if we were just friends. If she was moving so soon then I didn't see a point in starting a relationship.

She continued coming to my work to see me. It's almost like she wouldn't take no for an answer, and I really did like her. We started to hang out and become more than friends. A couple weeks go by and we are progressing extremely slowly because I don't have much free time. She then tells me that she has to delay her move for 2 weeks. We hang out, time goes by, then she tells me she has to push back her move for 2 more weeks. This happens another time after that.

We slept together once, and I didn't get a chance to see her for another week. I had a day off and we spent the entire day together. She stayed at my place that night, but nothing happened because we both were feeling under the weather. After that I was sick, then she was sick, then I was sick and we didn't see each other for a couple weeks. After all that was resolved I kept trying to make plans with her but she kept saying she was busy or that she couldn't and would let me know when she was free. We kind of drifted apart and I didn't talk to her for about a month and a half.

Recently we ran into each other and she was really excited to see me. She wanted to hang out with me that night but there was no way that I could. I told her about the bachelor auction that I was going to be in and she said that she was going to buy me. A little later she mentioned something about the guy she was now dating.

I saw her again a week later and we talked a bit. She kept saying how much her life sucks and how boring it is and that she isn't going to move out of state after all. We talked for about an hour and while I was getting ready to leave, she hugged me from behind, held onto me for about a minute and kept telling me how good I smell.

That's where I stand. I really like this girl and think that if we had met at another time and place that we would have a long and meaningful relationship. I'm just really confused about it all. I don't know if she really has a boyfriend or if she's just testing me.

I would really appreciate any thoughts on this situation. It's been a whole crazy thing.

[Loki]

I don't think she's quite sure of her feelings towards you herself. If she does have a boyfriend, then it's even more confusing. It would probably be easiest for you to just ask her how she feels about you, as you wouldn't have to guess where you stand with her. Another possibility is that she really wanted a relationship with you, but your long work hours got in the way.

[Transcendent]

Seems like everyone else is as confused about the situation as I am. It's been a few days and it's only gotten more confusing. Such is life I suppose.

[Perfect Sunday]

IMHO,

She said she was leaving, and was ok with "not starting a relationship", just as normal behaviour.

You slept together, so that was do-able within the realm of possibilities.

I believe she mentioned the "guy she is dating" just to gauge your reaction.
It's nothing serious or she wouldn't be seeking you to hang-out with.

She telling you how good you smell.... d00d!!!
She can't be any more blatant than that!

Smell!
I once read that the least sensitive woman, is like 100 times more sensitive than the nearest man in the olefactory department. ((not sure how true is that))

I think you should un-attach yourself from an outcome, and go chill' with her.

Originally Posted by Transcendent

Such is life I suppose.

SUCH IS LIFE!!!

[DayInTheLife]

If you like her, continue to see her even though you aren't quite sure what will happen. Dismiss the "guy she's dating" comment as some kind of bizarre test.

Set your expectations to zero, and see what happens.

Later on you can ask her to clarify her situation, but don't worry about that right yet.

[Transcendent]

Well, she's started now with the game playing and mixed signals. She stops by my job almost everyday now. Sometimes she greets me with a hug, She kissed me once, then later gave me a "friend" hug to say goodbye.

She did have a boyfriend, and they're broken up now. She said she was in love with him and all that jazz. I'm starting to think she just likes attention and game playing.

This is one confusing girl, aren't most of them?

[DayInTheLife]

Well, she's started now with the game playing and mixed signals. She stops by my job almost everyday now. Sometimes she greets me with a hug, She kissed me once, then later gave me a "friend" hug to say goodbye.

She did have a boyfriend, and they're broken up now. She said she was in love with him and all that jazz. I'm starting to think she just likes attention and game playing.

Honestly that doesn't sound too much like game playing to me. Women are confusing to men, yes. If you still like her, continue seeing her. If her signals become really baffling, I would just have a talk with her and say "Look, I think you're pretty cool and I like seeing you, but I'm not sure what you're looking for here. Why don't you tell me?"

Just don't get upset at her, and you might get a useful answer.

[Transcendent]

One more update... We hung out for about an hour yesterday afternoon and everything was fantastic. Actually the best time we've had together. We made plans for her to meet me at work at the end of the night and hang out.

Later on, it's the end of the night and she stops by. Some guy comes in right after her. She tells me he tipped her $300 that night (bartender). We were closing and the guy had to go. Instead of staying, she left with the guy. On the way out she kisses me.

I think I'm done.

[Alison Jenkins]

Not sure what she is really up to but do you want this much confusion in your life? I am wondering why all the changing stories

Alison

[Transcendent]

Well, hopefully here's the end of the story. She seems like she has some serious issues and I have no time for that.

I'm not gonna talk to her anymore. I still care about her, which makes it hard, but she just isn't the person I thought she was. Knowing this, it's hard to not have feelings even when the other person totally screwed with you.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Transcendent

She seems like she has some serious issues and I have no time for that.

How can you have time for anything, let alone a loving, long term, mutually beneficial relationship (LLTMBR)? You're not really available, are you, if you're working 100 out of 168 hours every week. How can you make a relationship work for you, when you're so busy?

That said, it can drive a woman absolutely insane when a guy smells right. All rationality goes right out the window. I could tell you some stories.

[Transcendent]

Well, working 100+ hours a week were for the first 3 months. The past couple months I am down to a normal 40 hour a week schedule.
Regardless, if I only worked 10 hours a week, I still wouldn't want to spend my time and emotions trying to figure this girl out.

Life goes on, hope she figures out what she's really looking for.

[Angela]

I don't blame you. And I hope you make the time in your life for a wonderful LLTMBR!

[MrNotebook]

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[PerDev]

Nobody can blame you.