I just yelled at the coffee cart girl!

[MidasGirl]

When you learn to stop letting other peoples' actions (or lack thereof) determine how you respond, you will be surprised how much inner peace you will experience. (Let's just say if we all learned that we might put the anti-depressant drugs out of business, but ya know, they need their customers too). Losing control and having knee-jerk reactions hurts you more than it does the person it was directed at, so what smart person would continue to do it?

[Jennihul]

Midas is my she-ro!

Jennifer

[garentee]

Originally Posted by Jennihul

That is true on a different level.

But whether she does her job well, or not, is a perception that each person in line makes based on their experience with her. But I doubt that each person in line will choose to berate her publically if she falls short, nor does she deserve that regardless of her performance.

So it's still 100% about sheffy and his choice to berate her. Which is really what he is asking about in his original post. Yes she sucked. But he is upset because he yelled at her. He's not asking for our approval for his behavior nor for us to help him justify it, which is what this thread is trying to turn into.

It's about the yelling, not the service.


Jennifer

OK in light of that it always feels good to apologize when you have behaved in a manner that is rude etc.. for some reason I could not get past the fact that the gal was not performing her job...Sometimes ya just get stuck in a mental block.G

[sheffy4]

Just a note, I'm a girl, not a guy!

[Jennihul]

You don't sign your posts, your nickname is ambiguous and your profile is empty. You are a man in my default language.

Jennifer

[DayInTheLife]

Originally Posted by Angela

DayintheLife, you are so powerful. I appreciate you very much!

Thank you, that means a lot to me coming from you. Insight comes and goes for me, it seems you always have it

[Erki]

Originally Posted by Jennihul

You don't sign your posts, your nickname is ambiguous and your profile is empty. You are a man in my default language.

Jennifer

How so? I see a lot of people, mainly women, have it the other way around.

[Dan.Linehan]

I would say if someone's service (or lack of) triggers anger it's probably best to ask for your money back rather than getting upset while still financially supporting (paying) them.

That being said though, honestly, I would have basically done the same thing Sheffy did. I worked in the service industry for years and I just don't have much patience for people who act inappropriately towards customers. Ignoring customers is no good. I tend to call people out of things like that pretty quickly.

I might have said something like, "Hey, are you still making the coffees here or do I pick it up somewhere else?" Or "I'm so glad you guys are getting to catch up! Like, OMG!" You know, effective without being too rude (hopefully).

[Rose of Cairo]

Hmmmm.... Jennifer is right, this thread should be about sheffy and her anger and her feeling bad about her yelling at this girl. The circumstances aren't that important.

Sheffy, is feeling ignored or neglected or disrespected or not important a pattern in your life? What did you think exactly when you got angry?

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by garentee

The person who was "making " the coffee had no right whatsoever to ignore the customer who is the sole purpose that she is there in the first place. if I ignored the customer like that I would not have to worry about them after a while because there would be no more customers. It is just plain rude to ignore someone while you are being paid by someone else to provide a service. I do not think for a second that you would see this the same way if you owned your own business. They call it Customer service for a reason.
Your extreme case is unlikely to happen,and like everything in life there are exceptions to rules....in that case I would have set my boundaries with said customer and if they did not agree with my set of rules I would refuse to sell to that person. I have done it before... but certainly not if they were being ignored. It is vastly important to remember who pays you when you are in a situation where you are waiting on people. Perhaps Pianoman the retail world is not your calling.

I'm guessing you haven't. Customer service is the most demeaning work for the least amount of pay. This girl was obviously not the owner so why would she try as hard as the owner? Is she getting stock options? No. She was probably being taken advantage of for cheap labor by the owner, though. If you really read what the post said, you'd see that it couldn't have been more than a minute or two. Everyone can wait a minute. People in customer service are not your slaves because you pay for a coffee. I worked in coffee for years. It's a grueling job where you're always on your feet and the pay is ****. Then, people like you come in and scream at them like they're your dog that just took a dump in your shoe. Get off your high horse. Stop being a pompous ignorant know-it-all and wait for thirty seconds so she can feel good about herself when a nice person comes up and talks to her. You can afford it and she deserves a break once in a while.

[Jennihul]

I do mammograms. Trust me, the only people treated lower are the taxman, undertaker and proctologist.

Good thing they pay me well and I have the knowledge that no matter how completely assholish women can be, I am helping save their lives in spite of them.

Jennifer

[Jennihul]

Originally Posted by Erki

How so? I see a lot of people, mainly women, have it the other way around.

You have your default language, I have mine.

If one leaves it up to a 50/50 chance, I pick man.

I just happen to like men.

Jennifer

[sheffy4]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Sheffy, is feeling ignored or neglected or disrespected or not important a pattern in your life? What did you think exactly when you got angry?

I would say that it is a pattern, which I guess would explain why it bothered me so much.
When I got angry, I was thinking a lot of things, "She can obviously see us all here waiting for our coffee, yet she does not resume making coffees. If that were me I would just steam the milk and talk to my friend at the same time, instead of completely abandoning the work and just talking. It's not that hard to work and talk at the same time." And on and on and on.... I think someone already said it in this thread, but basically I was angry because she was not acting as I would act.

[garentee]

Danny Boy,
I have as a matter of fact worked in customer service. I own a small business more accurately a small farm. I direct market my vegetables to customers at the farmers market and in a medium CSA plus sell to 9 restaurants. So yes I have worked in customer service. I have also worked retail jobs and waited on tables. Treating a customer like they do not exist is poison to a small business not to mention to an employees wellbeing. I am sorry you found customer service to be grueling work....the appropriate response that Sheffy4 should have gotten is "I am sorry that I ignored you, what can I do to make it better?" Granted yelling is not really always good policy, but we are all human. And certainly the coffee cart girl is human too and does make mistakes. But part of being human is taking responsibility for our mistakes. When it happens on someone elses dime it is disrespectful to both the business owner and to the customer.

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by garentee

Danny Boy,
I have as a matter of fact worked in customer service. I own a small business more accurately a small farm. I direct market my vegetables to customers at the farmers market and in a medium CSA plus sell to 9 restaurants. So yes I have worked in customer service. I have also worked retail jobs and waited on tables. Treating a customer like they do not exist is poison to a small business not to mention to an employees wellbeing. I am sorry you found customer service to be grueling work....the appropriate response that Sheffy4 should have gotten is "I am sorry that I ignored you, what can I do to make it better?" Granted yelling is not really always good policy, but we are all human. And certainly the coffee cart girl is human too and does make mistakes. But part of being human is taking responsibility for our mistakes. When it happens on someone elses dime it is disrespectful to both the business owner and to the customer.

That's a big difference. Of course it's not grueling when you OWN it. It's your baby. Try working for a big chain where they pay only $8 an hour and have them tell you to mop the floor even though it was just mopped because there's a five minute break between rushes. I'm not saying you treat your workers badly, but it seems like you're only seeing one side of the situation, as an owner. Try looking at it from the outside and see both sides of the situation. What if they pay her poorly and she has to work double shifts to support herself? I ran my own business for 10 years myself, so I understand where you are coming from, employees can be lazy, but your last response seemed to have no empathy for what the worker might be going through. No one should have a right to yell at someone like that, even if they are a lowly coffee girl.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by garentee

I have also worked retail jobs and waited on tables.

[Dannyboy1]

You're absolutely right.

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by garentee

Test or not it is still the responsibility of the gal to do her job to the best of her ability AND take responsibility when she is not.

Judge not lest ye be judged. Reguardless of her job, she is a human being and yelling at her is not your right. You are not her boss. If you do not like the service you have the right to go somewhere else. I'm sure if the woman had asked her nicely it would have been much more beneficial for both her and the girl. When you attack you've let your anger control you in a situation that is not at all important and will probably waste much of your day stewing about it as this woman did. Wouldn't it be better to assess the situation without anger and attempt to find a quick solution? Why inflict harm on another for such a small thing. There was no need to yell. She imagined the girl was personally negligent to her when it most likely was an oversight. There was no need for aggression. It was an over-reaction that only caused bad energy for everyone within earshot. Personally, I'd rather choose to give positive energy and create a friend out of the girl. If she said something like, "Excuse me (smile) I apologize for interrupting. (jokingly) I would love you forever if you could whip out my order. I'm about to crash." After she gave her the order, she could then say, "Thank you so much. You saved my life. I'm Sara, by the way. Have a great day!"

Stay with me now. If she responded like that, how do you think that girl would treat her the next time she came in? Pretty good I would think. In fact I've found that often people in these types of jobs are so shocked that someone is being nice to them, they'll do anything for you whenever they see you. Next time you get upset at a "customer service" person, stop yourself, take a breath, and try this tactic. If you go there all the time, you'll be treated like royalty. If you'll never go there again, you'll make someone's day and make yourself feel good as well. Win win. I've found that in a situation that starts out negative, if you can surprise the person like this, you'll get enormous joy out of turning them around and making them smile. I'd rather have that energy than walking out angerly thinking "Do you believe that girl?! I showed her what's what!" If you think about it, that's really an awful feeling even if you win. I'd rather make a friend and be smiling as I walk out. I guarantee everyone watching will be looking at you thinking, "Wow. That was really nice! What a good person."

[fwellers]

Originally Posted by Dannyboy1

That's a big difference. Of course it's not grueling when you OWN it. It's your baby. Try working for a big chain where they pay only $8 an hour and have them tell you to mop the floor even though it was just mopped because there's a five minute break between rushes. I'm not saying you treat your workers badly, but it seems like you're only seeing one side of the situation, as an owner. Try looking at it from the outside and see both sides of the situation. What if they pay her poorly and she has to work double shifts to support herself? I ran my own business for 10 years myself, so I understand where you are coming from, employees can be lazy, but your last response seemed to have no empathy for what the worker might be going through. No one should have a right to yell at someone like that, even if they are a lowly coffee girl.

You know, while reading this thread, what I am getting from you and a couple of others, sparks something I care to express.

I'm 50 now, so I was brought up in a different generation than most of the kids I see working service jobs today. I worked those jobs too, so I do know what it's like.
We were raised with a different work ethic. A different ethic totally it seems. I always looked at my job like it was a priviledge to work there. I always treated the customer to quick service with a SMILE and RESPECT.
If I needed a break, I would take one out of the eyesite of a customer. I never let a customer be needing something while I was sitting on my ass. That is just a basic rule that is known !!

Now today, yea there are plenty and plenty of fantastic young people who it appears have these same values. But I am seeing more and more, who have a chip on their shoulder, sort of like you described. " I am a slave, I don't get paid enough, it's not worth it" whatever....

I see them with sour looks on their pusses while they are cutting deli meat, I see them moving at a snails pace while packaging groceries, I see them shuffling along as if it's a matter of pride that they are too good for the job they are being FORCED to do. I just don't understand some of these young people who are like that. I keep telling myself that one of these days I'm gonna say something to them, like "If you hate your job so much, why don't you do us all a favor and quit". But it hasn't happened yet.

I am always nice to people who provide a service for me, and in this case, I would have been tweeked about my 5 minutes being wasted. ( I hate waiting in lines, and if I'm in a line, I want it to be moving, or a good reason why it's not moving ). But I would've made a gentle comment first, or even cleared my throat. Only if I met what I consider to be obstinance or attitude after that, then I may have let the person have it a bit. And I wouldn't feel sorry for that.

Not sure if this coffee shop person was the type I described above or not, but I just wanted to basically express what I've witnessed with some of the late teen to 20's generation today, and say that I don't get it.

Thanks for listening.

[Jennihul]

I blame our economy. There really is a dearth of people that want these jobs and they aren't the excited, bright-eyed kids of yesteryear. Work ethic has flown and probably won't be back.

The managers of these kids are kids themselves with sad work ethics or else so afraid they will be left short-staffed, they put up with crap just to have a warm body at the store so they don't have to work 16 hour days themselves.

I just don't expect service in retail anymore. That way I can't be disappointed. I still get a little weirded out, though, when they seem downright thuggish.

Jennifer

[garentee]

There is never an excuse to ignore the customer.I do get pretty ornery about such things. Yes yelling at someone is in fact rude. Sometimes though if you are being ignored by the employee whose JOB it is to give you service then its ok to let your feelings be known..with in reason.I was working at a cheese shop a few winters ago and there was an extremely cantankerous customer who insisted on coming back behind the counter to make sure I was slicing his proscuitto correctly... To me that was out of line.. He did not trust me to do a good job and was a generally ill tempered customer. For a while one of my co workers would take care of his orders but after a while I realized that he was ok. If I were alone in the store I would not ignore him...Its my job to not ignore... OK rambled on enough.

[fwellers]

Originally Posted by Jennihul

I blame our economy. There really is a dearth of people that want these jobs and they aren't the excited, bright-eyed kids of yesteryear. Work ethic has flown and probably won't be back.

The managers of these kids are kids themselves with sad work ethics or else so afraid they will be left short-staffed, they put up with crap just to have a warm body at the store so they don't have to work 16 hour days themselves.

I just don't expect service in retail anymore. That way I can't be disappointed. I still get a little weirded out, though, when they seem downright thuggish.

Jennifer

Yea you're right. It probably has some to do with the economy. Also, the general mood of the world, or at least the USA today. I think bosses are afraid of getting sued, or shot too. The whole pc climate seems to shun a boss saying something like "shape up or ship out". That was the common understanding a while back. Now it's almost like the whole country is one big labor union.

I see some good in the way things are going, Americans traditionally work too hard, compared to the rest of the world. I like that the worker is respected a bit more. But I will probably never appreciate a sour or despondant looking service worker. I still say, do your job right, or go home.

[coLLege kid07]

hmm I guess people like their coffee.

*looks at the 52 posts* lol

[Jennihul]

People like drama. There was yelling involved.

Jennifer

[sheffy4]

Lol, Jennifer speaks the truth.

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by Jennihul

I blame our economy. There really is a dearth of people that want these jobs and they aren't the excited, bright-eyed kids of yesteryear. Work ethic has flown and probably won't be back.

The managers of these kids are kids themselves with sad work ethics or else so afraid they will be left short-staffed, they put up with crap just to have a warm body at the store so they don't have to work 16 hour days themselves.

I just don't expect service in retail anymore. That way I can't be disappointed. I still get a little weirded out, though, when they seem downright thuggish.

Jennifer

The work ethic is not gone. "Kids" as you call them in a patronizing way are not all the same. Aside from that, they should not have to be yelled at by prejudiced people who assume they know them. I'd say the ones who won't put up with it are the smart ones and realize they're not your coffee slave. You should let go of the past and forget your old fashioned "rules". Treat people well and they will work harder. Yell at them and create your own dissent. It's up to you.

This is something I've noticed. People always think their generation was better and had more integrity. Well, I say you're out of touch. You're judging based on old rules that are outdated and you should be careful. You'll wake up one day on a park bench complaining about those young whipper-snappers. Stop calling them kids. They are people. People that deserve as much respect as you do. I don't care how old you are. Do they have the experience you do? No, but they are human beings who don't want to be treated with disrespect. Respect them and they'll respect you. Keep up with the snide comments and you may as well fade away with all the other dinosaurs.

[Jennihul]

You are misinterpreting my post.

I was referring directly to the type of kids that fwellers was referring to.

Not all kids.

But it was a nice rant anyway.

Jennifer

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by Jennihul

You are misinterpreting my post.

I was referring directly to the type of kids that fwellers was referring to.

Not all kids.

But it was a nice rant anyway.

Jennifer

I was in a zone. I wasn't just talking to you either. I just happened to reply to yours. I just think no one should claim license over someone just because you're paying for a coffee. You don't have to jump right to yelling at someone. In fact, I see no reason to ever yell at someone over a coffee. If you look back to the post I put up about trying a more positive approach, I think you'll agree. It was a couple of posts before this one I think. Let me know what you think.

Thanks Jennifer. :-)

[Angela]

Hmmm, in my neck of the woods (Santa Monica) the barristas seem to consider themselves to consider themselves 'artistes' -- one even recently chided me (in a good-natured way) for having my coffee ground too finely, because he told me it would make it too bitter. The 'kids' at my local coffee places seem to try to outdo each other to be entertaining and helpful. It's a pleasure to wait for them because they add something to the experience.

Then again, they are probably all aspiring actors, and you never know when Steven Spielberg might show up on the Promenade for a latte.

[fwellers]

Originally Posted by Dannyboy1

I was in a zone. I wasn't just talking to you either. I just happened to reply to yours. I just think no one should claim license over someone just because you're paying for a coffee. You don't have to jump right to yelling at someone. In fact, I see no reason to ever yell at someone over a coffee. If you look back to the post I put up about trying a more positive approach, I think you'll agree. It was a couple of posts before this one I think. Let me know what you think.

Thanks Jennifer. :-)

hmmm. While I agree that you don't have license to yell at someone for giving you poor service, I still maintain that good service in a service organization is key, and people should expect it.
What happens if you consistently get poor service ? You wind up taking your business elsewhere. That's all.