Older women/younger men: how to tell if a guy's attracted?

[votoshka]

Hmm...well as for liking younger men...it isn't something I think about the WHY of! I don't FEEL like an "older woman" even though I'm nearly 35 (which isn't really old, but err, older than 21 I guess), I don't think I feel much different inside than a 21 year old!

Maybe I am just immature?

[danas]

for me younger men dont do it at all,
the other day I met a tall and handsome man by chance, we had a short conversation, and I gave him my number and he called but evertime he wanted to meet I couldnt make it. I checked him out on facebook and found out he was 24- thats 10 years younger then me. that totally turned me off (he looks much older) I told him that hes too young for me, he was still keen to meet and said it didnt bother him at all, but I cut it off. maybe Im missing out, but guess today Im not interested in just "fun", and with a younger man I imediately suspect him not to be a the same stage in life as me. there are many exceptions of course...

[Erki]

In my 20 years I have experienced just as much intimacy as a fish has ridden a bicycle so I'm obviously not qualified to talk on this subject but anyway... I'm considering not asking any person's age that I meet any more. Age is just a number, of course.. What stage they are in their life and what they want from their life and how they want to live are more important things for me. And knowing someone's age before I know them up close and personally can just create prejudices and possibly false ideas of what the other person is like. I don't want to be defined by my age.


@Spartan re males and experience - aren't males usually supposed to be more active and aggressive and take the helm in their hands? A male who has no experience surely has someone's alarm bells ringing, no?

[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by Erki

A male who has no experience surely has someone's alarm bells ringing, no?

Speaking as a male with "no experience"... WHY? It's not like my being a certified shagger(tm) or not has any bearing on how our relationship will be - sexually or otherwise.

Who knows, your alarm bells could prompt you to pass on the best lay you'll ever have...

*sigh*

[C33]

Originally Posted by Spartan

Also, just wondering what it is about younger men that you older women like?

Are you trying to recapture moments of your youth, so you can feel young and desirable again? (Not saying you aren't desirable, so don't flame me lol)

Or Perhaps you feel that you missed out when you were young, and want to make up for that now?

Or maybe you want to be like a mother figure to them, and help guide them into maturity?

Or perhaps you just like their fit young bodies?

Ok I'll shut up now!

Hum,

I am not trying to recapture moments of my youth because my youth S*cked. I didn't like my 20s and started getting into my own skin around 30+. I find myself more desirable and attractive now than I ever was in my 20s. I would agree that the attention of a young man is flattering, but it might be the way they convey their attention that makes it so.They tend to be more direct and less afraid of saying nice things.

I don't feel like I had much of an adolescence or a time of my oung adult life when I was carefree, so yes, one could say I missed out.
I don't see it that way because I feel that this experience gave me the ability to enjoy things to the fullest in the present moment.
I do not take happiness for granted and will squeeze every moment of joy and pleasure out of every opportunity.

I don't want to be a mother to anyone, but it's nice to be able to be nurturing without being pushed away, though I don't think accepting to be nurtured is necessarily related to one's age.

As far as young hot bodies, it's nice, but not something I seek as much as vitality, and ability and desire to please.

As a huge generalization, based on my personal experience, I find younger men more hopeful and optimistic.

Men my age act like they re old.( again, it's been my experience)
They seem to think 40 is the end and I think it's just the beginning.They seem to have no time or energy because they have already been tired up by a prior marriage, fatherhood and/ or a string of relationships that took up their love energy, or they devoted their time to a job that took all their life force away, and now they are the" bald men in the Porshe rushing home to watch t.v"( I have nothing against bald men).

I am still waiting for the love(s) of my life and have plenty of energy and desire towards being with this( these) person (s).

I am attracted to people who are turned on and can be committed as in "engaged", not as in counting the number of years or months they've been compromising their true selves to be able to wave a piece of paper in front of the world.( Again, highly personal and possibly biaised and naive view).

Also, I love to go out. I enjoy partying and am not through being social and enjoying the world. Even though I can be very quiet and enjoy intimacy at home. I don't like cocooning and do not find it attractive to hold someone's hand in front of a t.v screen.

I find curiosity and people who have passions and pursue them very attractive. It is not always the young who go for what they love, but it takes twice the energy and optimism to do so later in life.

Last but not least, I think younger men have more of a chance to have been raised by a strong, independent woman and might be more accepting of that sort of woman.

They might not be as protective and reassuring as men in their 40s and over, but they seem less patronising.

This said, I am not on the lookout for younger men, but it just so happens that they are desirable because they are the ones who are most likely to be unattached and single.

I would also agree that someone being into personal development like the lovely people of this forum, would not be "old" as in tiring and boring.

[Spartan]

Originally Posted by C33

Men my age act like they re old.( again, it's been my experience)
They seem to think 40 is the end and I think it's just the beginning.They seem to have no time or energy because they have already been tired up by a prior marriage, fatherhood and/ or a string of relationships that took up their love energy, or they devoted their time to a job that took all their life force away, and now they are the" bald men in the Porshe rushing home to watch t.v"( I have nothing against bald men).

I was optimistic until I read this!

Nice detailed reply though.

[Spartan]

Originally Posted by JimOfferman

Speaking as a male with "no experience"... WHY? It's not like my being a certified shagger(tm) or not has any bearing on how our relationship will be - sexually or otherwise.

Lol. Reading 'certified shagger(tm)' cracked me up!

I don't think experience matters, unless it feels like a barrier to you.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by C33

Hum,

I am not trying to recapture moments of my youth because my youth S*cked. I didn't like my 20s and started getting into my own skin around 30+. I find myself more desirable and attractive now than I ever was in my 20s. I would agree that the attention of a young man is flattering, but it might be the way they convey their attention that makes it so.They tend to be more direct and less afraid of saying nice things.

I don't feel like I had much of an adolescence or a time of my oung adult life when I was carefree, so yes, one could say I missed out.
I don't see it that way because I feel that this experience gave me the ability to enjoy things to the fullest in the present moment.
I do not take happiness for granted and will squeeze every moment of joy and pleasure out of every opportunity.

second childhood? and it's arrested development that makes younger dudes a match now.

I don't want to be a mother to anyone, but it's nice to be able to be nurturing without being pushed away, though I don't think accepting to be nurtured is necessarily related to one's age.

As far as young hot bodies, it's nice, but not something I seek as much as vitality, and ability and desire to please.

As a huge generalization, based on my personal experience, I find younger men more hopeful and optimistic.

Men my age act like they re old.( again, it's been my experience)
They seem to think 40 is the end and I think it's just the beginning.They seem to have no time or energy because they have already been tired up by a prior marriage, fatherhood and/ or a string of relationships that took up their love energy, or they devoted their time to a job that took all their life force away, and now they are the" bald men in the Porshe rushing home to watch t.v"( I have nothing against bald men).

maybe it's more that you are able to not get stuck in the later life rut and there are too many that are being boring later in life. more people should be like you and not be bogged down with being 40 something. I mean, what are most 40 something women up to? something similar to what you described as the typical 40s guy, probably - or the counterpart of that.

I am still waiting for the love(s) of my life and have plenty of energy and desire towards being with this( these) person (s).

I am attracted to people who are turned on and can be committed as in "engaged", not as in counting the number of years or months they've been compromising their true selves to be able to wave a piece of paper in front of the world.( Again, highly personal and possibly biaised and naive view).

Also, I love to go out. I enjoy partying and am not through being social and enjoying the world. Even though I can be very quiet and enjoy intimacy at home. I don't like cocooning and do not find it attractive to hold someone's hand in front of a t.v screen.

I find curiosity and people who have passions and pursue them very attractive. It is not always the young who go for what they love, but it takes twice the energy and optimism to do so later in life.

but you are not one of those that it takes twice the energy to keep the spark of life going.

Last but not least, I think younger men have more of a chance to have been raised by a strong, independent woman and might be more accepting of that sort of woman.

but is it a good thing for a guy to be looking for what his mother figure was in his lover?

They might not be as protective and reassuring as men in their 40s and over, but they seem less patronising.

then most 40s gals are subserviant or dependant.

This said, I am not on the lookout for younger men, but it just so happens that they are desirable because they are the ones who are most likely to be unattached and single.

I would also agree that someone being into personal development like the lovely people of this forum, would not be "old" as in tiring and boring.

second generation hippies are out there too.

[marinik]

I am 48. I must confess that I have never looked or felt better in my body and “mind”. One of my male friends called it “when a woman blossom”. I agree. There are no more ugly or old women only the ones that do not take care of them selves. I still have all the measurements I had at 25 (2 grown kids 25 and 18), I look very very well. I was always beautiful but now I glow. I know who I am, I am fine with my sexuality, I have made my career, my children have left home, happy, successful – great people. I have a great husband, fantastic lover and great friends. Life is great. Why a lover? My husband is 10 years older and is in andropause (male menopause). My lover is 2 years younger than I. It all works out fine for all. So judging tastes, mindsets, habits or morality is so immature. I used to say to so many thing NEVER!!! Or HOW COULD THEY!!!??? You never know the story behind the story. Do not judge. Live and love and let others live and love.

[Angela]

Hey, Marinik, good for you for taking good care of yourself.

Does your husband know about your lover? Did you make a vow to be sexually faithful to your husband and have now renegotiated that vow? Does your husband mind you having a lover, and does your lover mind you having a husband?

I wonder if this happens a lot, where married women in their 40's (in their bloom!) are sexually unsatisfied with their andropausal husbands and are attracted to the glowing vitality of a younger man.

[Spartan]

Originally Posted by marinik

I am 48. I must confess that I have never looked or felt better in my body and “mind”. One of my male friends called it “when a woman blossom”. I agree. There are no more ugly or old women only the ones that do not take care of them selves. I still have all the measurements I had at 25 (2 grown kids 25 and 18), I look very very well. I was always beautiful but now I glow. I know who I am, I am fine with my sexuality, I have made my career, my children have left home, happy, successful – great people. I have a great husband, fantastic lover and great friends. Life is great. Why a lover? My husband is 10 years older and is in andropause (male menopause). My lover is 2 years younger than I. It all works out fine for all. So judging tastes, mindsets, habits or morality is so immature. I used to say to so many thing NEVER!!! Or HOW COULD THEY!!!??? You never know the story behind the story. Do not judge. Live and love and let others live and love.

Wow, is your husband ok with that relationship? I don't think I could ever be ok with something like that. I mean why is he still your husband and not just your friend?

edit: I just noticed you said judging morality is 'so immature.' Well there are many great philosophers, lawmakers and judges doing that on a regular basis!

[marinik]

No my husband dose not know about my lover. His libido is going through some serious change in the past 3 years. He is my best friend and I plan to grow old with him, but not just now. I am 10 years younger. I think he senses it on an intuitive level but is not going to get into it all because he is aware of my sexuality. The 2 relationships have nothing to do with what I used to call being faithful. I am not giving anything to my lover that I would give my husband in an emotional way.

[skjustice70]

Hello everyone!



I'm 37... and younger men have always been attracted to me. I'd consider myself attractive but not like I was at age 19 by any means. For some reason they always come around though.
The younger guys I've met are respectful but flirtacious. For example: I like to jog. One guy...age 23 offered to come along with me to keep me company. He said he wanted to become a personal trainer. We started jogging together regularly. He would compliment my drive and commitment. He would also say how great I looked. Later he started to personalize my workout by incorperating excercises and running further distances with weights. He would run backwards facing me while i jogged and say stuff like.."Don't give up now... if you catch up you can kiss me!" Well that's all the motive I needed.. he was a young hard bodied hottie and i wanted that kiss.

Point is that as with any man of any age if they are interested it WILL show....even if they are shy..it may take a little longer but they will just be more creative in letting you know, the more conversation they have with you...the more they learn. By the way he did something to me in bed I've never allowed anyone to do.... he's the proud owner of that secret!

[Mayo]

Originally Posted by C33

I mean: stuff like" you can check me on Google" what does it mean? Is it a come on?

I have a friend who says: you should never go out with anyone you can't Google, so at least, it should sound good to him.

On an ironic, hopefully humorous note: I did have to Google myself to make sure I could reply:" hey, you can Google me" back.

My Google credentials are excellent!

LOL that is so funny!

Anyway i dated a beautiful woman that was in her early 40's some years ago, i was 23 at that time. To me it was the most beautiful thing it could happen and it opened my view on the world from a different perspective. Unfortunately it was more a passion thing so i'm pretty sad that it had not lasted more than little more than a year. But it was a great fun and a lovely experience!

I say: go for it!

[Spartan]

Originally Posted by marinik

No my husband dose not know about my lover. His libido is going through some serious change in the past 3 years. He is my best friend and I plan to grow old with him, but not just now. I am 10 years younger. I think he senses it on an intuitive level but is not going to get into it all because he is aware of my sexuality. The 2 relationships have nothing to do with what I used to call being faithful. I am not giving anything to my lover that I would give my husband in an emotional way.

I think you are being very dishonest to your husband. Didn't you make a vow to honour him in sickness and in health!? He has a right to know.

[MitoteLiberation]

Originally Posted by skywalker160

As this is the forum for smart people, i thought I might give you all some wisdom.

Young guys get more out of relationships with older women than they do with younger women.

Consider it like being broken in by somebody with experience. And it is wonderful.

Jonathan

Yeah, My boyfriend is older 40's [me being younger ]... And when he was in his youth he was with an older woman.

I'd say the breaking in went well

[introspective1]

Where are some good places to meet older women? LOL when I am out in public, I never notice older women checking out younger men. If I see a woman I like, should I just try to approach her even if she is not giving me the eye or should I wait for her to check me out?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by introspective1

I never notice older women checking out younger men.

That's because we've gotten more skillful with our surreptitious glances.

[Dave Kaminski]

I'm honestly interested in this one too - I'd love to date an older woman! There's no substitute for wisdom and self-acceptance, especially in bed. These things, more often than not, grow with age.

So long as she's in good physical shape, I think it would be feasible before age 45 or so. That's over twice my age

[introspective1]

Originally Posted by Angela

That's because we've gotten more skillful with our surreptitious glances.

LMAO! funny. I will have to try to hone in more and see if I notice this