Girls is going through relationship issues - Do I bring it up?

[Xin]

Simple question. If a girl is solving some relationship issues and is kinda bummed by it, but is single, what's better? To just let that problems fade into the background, as to not bring "darkness" (lol) early in the relationship? Or bring it up, making her realize that "your problems are over. I'm here." (lol ) - this seems a great way to be "friended", though.

[Angela]

If a girl is bummed out about issues in her previous relationship, she's not available for a loving, long-term mutually beneficial relationship (LLTMBR) with you.

If you were to try push her or even gently lead her into a LLTMBR, she would be carrying her old pain with her, and you would get to deal with that, rather than the authentic girl. That's not a LLTMBR, that's an ordinary, reactive, struggling relationship. You can do that if you choose, of course, but wouldn't a LLTMBR work better in living a life you love?

I would give her some room and some time to work through her old pain, and be her supportive friend. This is a great way for you to experience her and the way she deals with personal growth, and see if it's the kind of person you'd like to partner with in your own personal growth.

[Xin]

Originally Posted by Angela

If a girl is bummed out about issues in her previous relationship, she's not available for a loving, long-term mutually beneficial relationship (LLTMBR) with you.

If you were to try push her or even gently lead her into a LLTMBR, she would be carrying her old pain with her, and you would get to deal with that, rather than the authentic girl. That's not a LLTMBR, that's an ordinary, reactive, struggling relationship. You can do that if you choose, of course, but wouldn't a LLTMBR work better in living a life you love?

I would give her some room and some time to work through her old pain, and be her supportive friend. This is a great way for you to experience her and the way she deals with personal growth, and see if it's the kind of person you'd like to partner with in your own personal growth.

I see. She's not coming from a long-term relationship, though. I don't know the history, nor am I specially concerned with it, but I think she hooked up with a friend of mine, and things didn't really built up, instead crashed down.

She is not going through major problems or pain, just some small bump on her way, which I don't know if I should smash with my foot or go around it, so to say.

Thanks, Angela.

[Angela]

Well, at least you can be a good friend to her, and be your best self, so that she can witness a Higher Companion at work in her life, and she can be inspired that she is not doomed to being "crashed down."

But don't let yourself be crashed down by expecting someone who is suffering in old pain to be available for an LLTMBR.

[skywalker160]

Originally Posted by Angela

If a girl is bummed out about issues in her previous relationship, she's not available for a loving, long-term mutually beneficial relationship (LLTMBR) with you.

If you were to try push her or even gently lead her into a LLTMBR, she would be carrying her old pain with her, and you would get to deal with that, rather than the authentic girl. That's not a LLTMBR, that's an ordinary, reactive, struggling relationship. You can do that if you choose, of course, but wouldn't a LLTMBR work better in living a life you love?

I would give her some room and some time to work through her old pain, and be her supportive friend. This is a great way for you to experience her and the way she deals with personal growth, and see if it's the kind of person you'd like to partner with in your own personal growth.

Spot on answer Angela.

I couldn't have said it better myself

Jonathan

[Angela]

Thanks, Jonathan!