Quality of posters on this forum?

[Jamie]

Hi Guys,

When I first joined this forum, I was very much struck by the high quality of posts, and opinions expressed. Very well thought out and articulate, in the majority of cases.



I've been here for over a month now, and used several parts of these forums, and haven't seen eye-to-eye with everyone on everything. However, I have made some assertions, that for some, may have been a little to 'far-fetcehed'. Things I know myself to be true, through first hand experience, however, people have dis-agreed with me, which I don't mind, at all. It's when people disagree with you, and they make it 'personal', and add nasty comments, I don't like that sort of behaviour.

So, I really just wanted to say, how I think there is a wide range here, in the quality of responses given on the threads (from excellent, to, not-so-good). I guess, for me, it just cautions me to be, well, more cautious, and less upfront and honest about things happening in my life. It's no good being sincere and posting your heart on your sleeve, when the trolls are just going to use that for their own amusment etc.

Maybe I have it wrong; I'd be curious to know what others' experiences have been here?

Jamie.

[tetter]

Be honest and don’t take it personally yourself! Bad thoughts are a part of life and human nature if you will...and most of them are personal! Forums are a place for personal opinions and most of the time unsolicited EXTRA advice.
So its really about the way you take it.

My personal view on things like what you described is that those "types" need to have some kind of oasis for venting their own personal frustrations about social or personal injustices and have chosen a not so effective but much more accessible way to accomplish that.

Understanding online socialization is a new field and there are many psychological aspects that haven’t been explored yet.

Needless to say (from my point of view) online is not the same as face to face relationship. You are at the mercy of how well someone may put together their comment and opinion. Face to face (most) people are restricted by social phobia and unspoken rules about interaction.
We also subconsciously use body language and voice fluctuation to enhance the understanding in communications between each other face to face, that is not possible online.
In other words its easier to take things the wrong way online.
Your interpretation is colored by your own personal feelings and emotions and sensitivities at the time you read.

Online etiquette is kind of subjective when it comes to opinions.
Also, how you respond is so much easier than when you are face to face.
Online you can choose to ignore!!! that person and talk “past” their undesired comments; where at one point words may have caused an altercation face to face. 

[jawillie]

I visit a different message board and consider that my true "home" ~ I have even met several of the members and we are real life friends, not just cyber friends. BUt, I could never talk about IM or Dreams or anything like that with them, so I come here for that.

I love that that there are spiritual people here. I didn't know such a group existed as I am surrounded by either Catholics or Lutherans. I like the diversity this forum brings. I learn so much by reading here.

As far as personal attacks, it happens. You get someone on a bad day, they read into something and boom!

Personally, I am still VERY timid to post much here, though I have posted some. My friends consider me deep and a "thinker" but when I come here I see others are way more deep-thinkers than me! LOL I couldn't keep up in a real life conversation with most of you. (at least I can admit that???? )

But, I love reading what you all have to say!

[Angela]

It's of the utmost importance to the administrators and moderators that people feel safe and supported here in these forums. We watch carefully to ensure that posters follow the rules they agree to when posting here. Every day, we review posts with the intention of supporting this as a safe haven for people to discuss issues regarding personal development for smart people.

Please, anytime you encounter a post that contains a personal attack or breaks any other rule of the forums, use "report this post" to let the moderators about it (it's hard for us to catch everything!). You can be sure it will be reviewed and dealt with.

Thanks!

[Jamie]

Vast majority of people here are just fine Angela. Maybe that's evidence of the mods doing a good job? I guess there's an element of mis-understands too; esp. with the only medium for communication we have, being words (typed).

I'm in the process of setting up a local personal development community in my home city, it will mostly be online, but we'll arrange events too; and I'm really concerned as to how to keep a friendly and positive group culture (mostly for the online part).

Do you have rules / guidelines for SP forums? I'm sure there are, I'll have a dig around ...

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

The Rules:

Personal Development for Smart People Forums - Announcements in Forum : General & Introductions

[garentee]

People attack others based on their reality and very rarely based on your reality. Make no assumptions about anothers words. Call them out if you you have to.

[Jennihul]

Does it really bother you that much?

The cutesy compassionate side of me says , Oh...I wish the world were kinder to all people.

The regular side of me says grow a pair and get over it. But that would make me seem like a troll to those without a pair.

Jennifer

[skywalker160]

I agree with some of this. You are the only person you have to justify yourself to. If somebody has a personal attack it's their problem.

Jonathan

[Alex2007]

Here thoughts and ideas come and go by all sort of people. You have to be selctive. Some are unconsious and try to feed their ego out of your own misery. You just need to ignore them. They are everywhere, in all online forums, in real world, in your job and sometimes in your own family.

Just try not to give a shlt and withdraw your self from infectuous interactions.

Other than that... Take care... And don't forget that....

"Any awards are in a direct proportion to your contribution"

I am still and I love you.

Alex

[fwellers]

Originally Posted by tetter

Be honest and don’t take it personally yourself! Bad thoughts are a part of life and human nature if you will...and most of them are personal! Forums are a place for personal opinions and most of the time unsolicited EXTRA advice.
So its really about the way you take it.

My personal view on things like what you described is that those "types" need to have some kind of oasis for venting their own personal frustrations about social or personal injustices and have chosen a not so effective but much more accessible way to accomplish that.

Understanding online socialization is a new field and there are many psychological aspects that haven’t been explored yet.

Needless to say (from my point of view) online is not the same as face to face relationship. You are at the mercy of how well someone may put together their comment and opinion. Face to face (most) people are restricted by social phobia and unspoken rules about interaction.
We also subconsciously use body language and voice fluctuation to enhance the understanding in communications between each other face to face, that is not possible online.
In other words its easier to take things the wrong way online.
Your interpretation is colored by your own personal feelings and emotions and sensitivities at the time you read.

Online etiquette is kind of subjective when it comes to opinions.
Also, how you respond is so much easier than when you are face to face.
Online you can choose to ignore!!! that person and talk “past” their undesired comments; where at one point words may have caused an altercation face to face. J

Excellent post/response. Shows a lot of understanding. I would like to add that the following three quotes represent what I think is very appropriate to this thread. I try to remember this type of understanding (usually too late ), when I start judging what I think are stupid things.

When you see a good man, try to emulate his example, and when you see a bad man, search yourself for his faults. Confusius

Wise men contemplate the world, knowing full well that they are contemplating themselves. James Cowan

When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. Wayne Dyer

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Jamie

It's no good being sincere and posting your heart on your sleeve, when the trolls are just going to use that for their own amusment etc.

Jamie, why is it no good?

If someone has fun with your post, how does it hurt you?

[Jamie]

Well Rose, I think maybe it's ok, being sincere, just not to have the expectation that everyone else will be! (though most people seem to be, if that makes sense). It's also being guided more by what you feel to be true, than what anyone else says.

Jamie.

[missing]

I would think "troll's stomping over somebody" who tries to be sincere and honest; well that's just part of the price of truth telling. Most people don't like to hear the truth and take a "shoot the messenger" mentality when somebody sticks it in front of their face. That's just the way reality and human nature works. If one doesn't like it than they need to reconsider if the personal rewards for being truthful all the time, are worth it for them.

Of course I believe it is possible to find ways to express ones true feelings in a sincere way without making themselves vulnerable to trolls. It requires creativity and practice though and not something that can be easily described, as it will be different for different people. One may get hurt in the process of discovering these new avenues of expression, but one needs to see it as learning opportunity, a way to reevaluate what you are doing. It's actually valuable feedback so I guess in a way you should be thanking the trolls. They are letting you know when you are doing something that needs improvement. Don't literally thank them though.

[robc]

Originally Posted by Jennihul

Does it really bother you that much?

The cutesy compassionate side of me says , Oh...I wish the world were kinder to all people.

The regular side of me says grow a pair and get over it. But that would make me seem like a troll to those without a pair.

Jennifer

If I can't grow a "pair", is it possible I can borrow yours.
......

Just kidding that was just a joke, I couldn't resist the opening (pardon the pun).

I will now recede into the dark corner again where no one can see me.
If you need to borrow my "pair", you'll find those shrivelled raisins I call balls in my wife's purse.

Peace out!