Never attracted?

[wolverine]

I've been dealing with a very odd situation pretty much all of my life (bar one time), in that I simply do not find people attractive in a romantic sense. I can look at people and see what might make them attractive to other people, but I'm just not attracted. Wouldn't want to see any more, not interested, nada.

Now, I'm not stressed about this anymore (although I was very upset/worried for quite a long time), but I still find it really strange. I came across asexual-ism a few years ago and had a look at it, but it doesn't seem to describe me. It's not that I don't want to touch, be touched, have sex etc, but just not with anyone I've seen. (Okay, maybe a little, but I think that's more due to being jumpy about being touched unexpectedly, which is different.)

Is this something anyone else knows/has heard of/is like? Just looking for opinions, ideas, suggestions, people to share with.


Be well!
Wolverine

[Jennihul]

Do you ever try to fantasize/visualize your ideal romantic experience? If so, what it is about that person that puts him/her in the class of ideal?

If not, why not give it a shot?

Maybe you just aren't overly concerned with looks and are mistaking that for disinterest when, rather, getting to know someone on a deep level would have far more of an effect for you....

It wouldn't be unheard of to have a certain brain center that is damaged or malformed that simply prevents you from having that particular primal signal of "attraction."

I was fascinated by the book Excitotoxins, by Russell Blaylock. It seems that if additives in our foods could cause neuron death quite easily, resulting in diseases like Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, MS, ALS, etc...then it is conceivable that it can also affect one's sexual preference since the areas of the brain that are vulnerable to these toxins also have some influence on sexuality.

Jennifer

[Plato]

I (think I) know what you're talking about assuming you're a heterosexual guy? I think a lot of guys go through this (incluidng me) and my conclusion is that porn is to blaim. It makes us view women as objects of desire and is overall pretty unhealthy for our minds.

So my suggestions are what I'm also trying out myself. Don't watch porn, at all, and meditate and practice relaxation. Basically I think the solution is doing whatever it takes to open up the old love pump.....no you sickos, the heart !

[wolverine]

Originally Posted by Plato

I (think I) know what you're talking about assuming you're a heterosexual guy? I think a lot of guys go through this (incluidng me) and my conclusion is that porn is to blaim. It makes us view women as objects of desire and is overall pretty unhealthy for our minds.

So my suggestions are what I'm also trying out myself. Don't watch porn, at all, and meditate and practice relaxation. I don't know if the new agey stuff will help but it's shown to make it easier to connect with other people on a deep and genuine level. Basically I think the solution is doing whatever it takes to open up your love pump (no you sickos I'm talking about the heart ! )

*laughs* No, I'm a girl, not entirely hetero- or homosexual. I should have mentioned something in the first post, sorry. But still, it made me laugh, so thank you. The way assumptions work and all that.

The only time I was attracted to someone was (looking back) far more lust than love, and probably came about because I was very depressed and she was too, and you know, like to like kinda thing. (Besides, even though I've moved on and wouldn't associate with her today, she was quite nice to look at.) But anyone else that's shown interest has caught me with their minds, not their looks, so I think Jennihul may have something there with that.

I love deep and genuine. I just have trouble opening up that much.


Be well!
Wolverine

[Plato]

I know what the problem is. You are in fact not a girl. Look. See any boobs? Nope, and not even many grandmas have a beard like that.



Pleased to be of service.

[Jennihul]

Yeah...forums suck when people are a little too anonymous. Nicknames can be anything but for heaven's sake sign your name or put your gender in the profile.


Jennifer <--clearly a girl even in Britain...)

[Jamie]

Hi Wolverine,

I think what the other guy said, about porn, is probably very good advice (for guys), but for girls too, I wonder if there's social (external) presures, telling us to be this way or that, or whatever, and it's easy to lose a sense of our own naturalness, our own connection to ourselves, or wholeness.

May don't try forcing the issue, just keep on doing what you enjoy and tune in to whatever turns you on in life (not just in a sexual sense), and follow your bliss.

I just think sometimes, a lot of sexual and relationship issues, are down to ourselves forcing the issue, or having expectations as to how things should be, and if they're not, we get anxious about them. Letting go and accepting you, as you are, and digging where you're at! That's the way to go, baby!

x