Purpose Statement for couple

[seeker5]

Dan wrote in Angela's thread asking her if she and DM had a purpose for their relationship. That got me wondering about that. I've read about some married couples who have had purpose statements and mission and goals for their marriage. That sounds very interesting to me. However, what about a regular couple who aren't married and aren't committed to a life together?

Has anyone put together a purpose for their relationship with their partner, or heard of someone who has done it? Dan, have you?

How would it look like? How should it look like?

[Angela]

oh, yeah.... thanks for reminding me!

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Angela

oh, yeah.... thanks for reminding me!

You're welcome! I'm glad to perform as "Angela's reminder"!

[Honeywith4bees]

My boyfriend and I have never sat down together and written a formal mission or vision statement, but we certainly have spent a lot of time discussing what's important to us. We both come from first marriages that failed and we have both learned an awful lot about how to go into a relationship with our eyes open.

Things that are important to us include:

providing support and comfort during times of stress

laughing together (a lot!)

allowing each other to have the time and space to pursue things of interest with out having to worry about the other person being jealous or controlling

being affectionate (also, a lot!)

open communication

having a really fabulous sex life

creating a relationship that allows for safety and security

All of those above items really tie into each other. If it weren't for the mutual trust, space and affection, for example, there wouldn't be the space for the intimacy that helps us to create the fabulous sex life.
I'm not sure, though, that I would want to formalize this list into something concrete. I like that we are getting pretty good at communicating our needs so that are shared vision is constantly evolving.

[Dan.Linehan]

Originally Posted by seeker5

Has anyone put together a purpose for their relationship with their partner, or heard of someone who has done it? Dan, have you?

We have a couple main goals right now. Those are:

• Be good to one another.
• Trust one another. Which basically means that we are fully transparent / honest about everything, even when its hard. Especially when its hard.

That's it so far.

It may seem basic, but just practicing those two is plenty for now.

[Dan.Linehan]

Originally Posted by Honeywith4bees

Allowing each other to have the time and space to pursue things of interest with out having to worry about the other person being jealous or controlling

Those are really good ones Honeywith4bees.

Your quoted one above will probably be our third main thing. "Time jealousy" is starting to be a bit of an issue sometimes. I'm afraid I have more recreational interests than him.

Not to mention the workaholic thing on top of that..

[Angela]

Trust will be one I'll want to find a third, so-far-unknown alternative with Danger Man on. Something inspiring for both of us.

It's funny, I feel like I spent the whole 2007 year working on the issue of trust, and now in 2008 it's all about testing what I've learned! (and also seeing how much more there is to learn.)

[skywalker160]

If you want good practice at this try hypothesising what your marriage vows would look like if you wrote them yourself.

Hope this opens a can of worms!

Jonathan.