Is my "boyfriend" fooling with my heart?

[Zobra Buddha]

Hi there!

I’m in a tricky relationship.
2 days ago, a guy told me that he loves me, that I make his feel like a little kid full of wonder, that I am a beautiful goddess. I knew him for almost a year, and I fell in love with him at first sight. But when I first told him this, he rejected me.

All this time we remained simply as friends, fellow meditators, spiritual seekers. But I could also feel how much he resisted me. At first I was really hurt, and then I accepted it and moved on. I remained open to other guys, made many new friends, enjoyed myself. I guess I buried all these strong feeling for him.

When he told me that he loves me, I felt a passionate outburst once again. I still love him the same. I lost my virginity to him.

But I am not sure what he meant when he said – I love you. I haven’t seen him for almost 4 months. I missed him more then anyone. He was back to Toronto for only a week and then I will not see him for another month.

We spend a few hours together and then parted. The next day, he wanted to catch up with his friends… I’m ok with that, I know that he really missed them too. The following day, same story. Today we went to a get together party with all our friends. I would expect two things: 1) he hangs out with me some of the time during the party; 2) that he will be open about his confessions with other people.
But, the entire night he would talk to various friends and I didn’t get to even say hello to him. By 11 pm (before I had to leave), I asked him – “do you want to get some fresh air?” I made a drawing for him, wanted to share it.
He told me that his other friend already asked him to go buy some smokes together. He left, and then I left. Tomorrow he is leaving. I will not see him for a while.

He told me that he loves me, and I bring out all these wonderful things in him, but he didn’t want to spend more time with me during his short visit. That doesn’t make any sense. I am not sure what to take from this.

So basically, he kinda loves me, and kinda wants intimacy from me, but he still considers me no different then any other friend. I don’t know, but along with an intimate relationship come expectations and I don’t feel that he is ready to meet them. We can remain friends, but if he wants more, he has to give more.

I would expect that once there is passion going on, he will naturally enjoy my company more then others, he will want to be together. I don’t want to set rules, and demand this from him. I expect it to come naturally, and if it doesn’t, then he shouldn’t fool with my heart.

Is it fair from my side to expect more then what I am receiving?
I am not sure how to handle with situation.

Love,
Leela

[evacorges]

Hi Leela,

1. actions speak louder than words.
2. what is your gut feeling?
3. your gut feeling is probably right.
4. Get on the phone with this man and ask what status he is giving your relationship, ie what you can expect from it at present.
5. Check your gut feeling against his reaction.

hmm - I seem to have been hit by a chuck of brevity here
Good luck!
Eva

[Alison Jenkins]

Sounds as though he may have issues with commitment. Maybe you could talk to him about how he is feeling about the relationship and what he actually wants from it. Men and women can view things very differently.

Alison

[skywalker160]

In My Humble Opinion, He's not sure

If he cares, and you think he does, he's not sure.

Don't worry if he's not committed yet, he's still making his mind up with lots of raw feelings.

Hope This Helps

Jonathan

[Green]

I haven’t seen him for almost 4 months. I missed him more then anyone.

i think he missed you too, he wasnt there for 4 months he missed your love even if you buried your feelings he still knows it and he enjoyed being beside someone he knows that she loves him so much and that at any time he says i love you you will be there for him. even if he loves you somehow and he is still hesitated or not able to decide in my opinion dont wait for his decision not even keep him as a friend. he should decide whether to be together or not and if yes this means he should act like being together.

[Vasilisa]

Zobra, he is not into you. I am sorry.