How to be a GUYS MAGNET?

[Angelwings]

hi, i m 22, i m still single. At this stage, i m willing to try anything to attract a relationship. I wonder where i went wrong. Currently, I am trying to lose some weight, but also, I'm observing the traits/characters of the popular people in college. I want to change my character and how i come across to people.

So, to all of you guys reading this. Please, give me some feedback on the type of character, behaviour and personality that can appeal to a guy.
Is it more flirtatious? more feminine? calm, independent? sassy perhaps?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Angelwings

Is it more flirtatious? more feminine? calm, independent? sassy perhaps?

Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.

-- Oscar Wilde

[CeciL]

Depends on the guy you want. An universal trait that will work is play video games.

[JSB]

Originally Posted by Angelwings

So, to all of you guys reading this. Please, give me some feedback on the type of character, behaviour and personality that can appeal to a guy.
Is it more flirtatious? more feminine? calm, independent? sassy perhaps?

That all depends on what kind of guy you are trying to attract. Don't settle for "anyone who likes me" --- first decide what you want in a partner, and then focus on what would make you compatible with that sort of person.

That being said, guys tend to notice physical appearance. Not that looks are the only important thing, and not that all women should look like plastic Barbie doll clones, but looks are an initial attention-getter. Exercise, healthy food, vitamins, good grooming, a sense of (your own personal) style, friendly body language, a sincere smile --- none of these things can hurt your cause!

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Angelwings

Please, give me some feedback on the type of character, behaviour and personality that can appeal to a guy.
Is it more flirtatious? more feminine? calm, independent? sassy perhaps?

I think that who you are will appeal to some guy. If you try to put on a certain personality that is unnatural to you, you will probably end up not being able to trust that the guy you do get really likes you for you.

Now, certainly if you are timid you could work on being more open in social situations. If you are angry you could work on the root of that and release it. There are things that we can all do to improve ourselves for ourselves that have the benefit of being attractive to potential partners.

Just don't become a sassy, feminine, flirtatious woman if that's not true to your core. I think most people want a genuine person, not some vision of what a "guy magnet" should be. Also, have you noticed you don't necessarily like the same things in a guy that all the women you know like? Same with guys. There's no way to become every guys' dream...they are all different and like different things. So being yourself is sure to attract the kind of guy who would be perfect for who you really are.

[Angelwings]

I want to change my PERSONALITY.
I m pissed off when people tell me i m INNOCENT. People just cant take me seriously enough. I want to be taken seriously and start behaving like a WOMEN not a girl. How do u go about that?
I guess, guys like A WOMAN not a girl.
What's being a woman like?

I ve been laughed at today during a 5mins video recording practice of talking infront of the camera and act out a scene. An actor laughed at me. Its not the first time when i give a public speaking, people laughed when i did my presentation awhile ago.

Anyway, i noticed that i wear alot of jeans. Maybe i should start wearing a dress. I think men like dresses- its universal i guess?

What's the universal traits/character people generally like? I m want to change my traits, this hopefully i develop a belief that I m MATURE WOMAN.

So sick of not being taken seriously coz i laugh alot in college. Maybe is my voice. i should be less cheerful when i talk,
God, i wish i can get a honest opinion about myself and the way i behave.
I wish someone can filmed me on my daily basis so i ll know what i look like.
So annoyed when i cant see myself.
There must be some traits everyone like. I want to be the girl all guys kill for. I mean literally all guys fall inlove. A good example is EVA LANGORIA.
Guys and girls give her a big star and everyone loves her and think she's the UNIVERSAL GUYS MAGNET. Do you agree?

[Angelwings]

Originally Posted by JSB

That all depends on what kind of guy you are trying to attract. Don't settle for "anyone who likes me" --- first decide what you want in a partner, and then focus on what would make you compatible with that sort of person.

That being said, guys tend to notice physical appearance. Not that looks are the only important thing, and not that all women should look like plastic Barbie doll clones, but looks are an initial attention-getter. Exercise, healthy food, vitamins, good grooming, a sense of (your own personal) style, friendly body language, a sincere smile --- none of these things can hurt your cause!

at this stage, i m so desparate i m about to take off with anyone that want to take me. I ve been single all my life.
Everyone loves BARBIE, she cant go wrong. She's a good example of d kind of traits people like- its so universal!

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by Angelwings

hi, i m 22, i m still single. At this stage, i m willing to try anything to attract a relationship. I wonder where i went wrong. Currently, I am trying to lose some weight, but also, I'm observing the traits/characters of the popular people in college. I want to change my character and how i come across to people.

So, to all of you guys reading this. Please, give me some feedback on the type of character, behaviour and personality that can appeal to a guy.
Is it more flirtatious? more feminine? calm, independent? sassy perhaps?

Firstly, I'm a guy, so according to your post, I seem qualified to respond.

Secondly, you said, "I want to change my character and how i come across to people".

That sounds all kind of not-good to me (i.e. something you don't want to be doing since it won't bring what you seek). Keep in mind that you create your own truth, so what I'm saying may not be relevant to you beliefs, but I've done an unreasonable amount of research on this subject (let's not go into it here) and what I've learned tells me that if you go that route, it's very likey you'll be less effective then you are now (unless, in trying to change your character, you cultivate traits that align with you you already are).

You saying you want to "change" doesn't surprise me—it's a pervasive mindset—but at the heart of what you want is effectiveness, not change, but you probably believe change will bring you effectiveness.

Marcus Buckingham and a variety of other people, myself included, will tell you the opposite: that the only sustainable way to be more effective is to be more and make use of who you already are.

There's lots of research to back this theory up, but simply put: humans have evolved to be specialists, and when you align with what you have available to you instead of what isn't, even if you lack skill or knowledge, not only will you enjoy yourself more often, but you'll feel more fulfilled and be more effective.

Even more simply put: Play to your strengths—use your strengths to compensate for any weaknesses that may be hindering you.

Sounds good, right? Ok, but then how do you play to your strengths?

You need to firstly (A) become aware of what your strengths are, including what they look like, and (B) you need to start making use of them by focusing on activities and ways of doing activities that make use of your strengths—what you do have available to you.

For more in-depth and specific advice, I recommend the books, Now, Discover Your Strengths (highly recommended; 1 of the 2 books I'd recommend everyone reads in their lifetime) and Go Put Your Strengths to Work (the latter I'm busy reading now; the ideas are solid, but I'm not quite sold on the presentation of them yet). I'll also be posting some strengths-related articles in the near future, so if you want to read them, send me a PM and I'll reply to you once I've got them posted.

I'll mention that the concepts I've spoken about can also be found in ideas like the Law of Attraction and also the work of Abraham-Hicks. I'd say the universe is forged on these foundations, but anyway, my goal here was to get you curious enough to consider what I've mentioned, and maybe check out the resources I referenced if you're interested, and I think I've done that.

On a final note, I'll be 22 this year, and I'm still single (by choice, although I am open to relationship possibilities), so you're definitely not alone. You may not resemble 99% of the population, but from what I've found, you generally don't want to do that anyway.

Postscript

I'll second JSB's comment that guys tend to be drawn to physically attractive women—not necessarily women who have some sort of innate attractiveness, but rather those who "appear" attractive, either from they way their facial features are arranged and sized, their body type, to things like how they present themselves with things like attitude, clothing, make-up, and physical conditioning (i.e. are they healthy? In excellent condition?).

I should probably also mention that I've had great success using the ideas I've talked about in this post. I just be myself and most people seem to like me. I'm not saying this to brag, it's just something I've observed, and it's prominent enough to be apparent. I've been in environments where practically nobody liked me (school), so I can definitely tell the difference.

I'm pretty unconventional, so I tend to cause certain people to be uneasy, but those who resonate with me seem to be drawn strongly to me. I've been looking for clues so I can figure out why, and it seems to partly stem from the fact that I am so completely myself all the time, sometimes more or at least equal to those around me. This one quality seems to make people more comfortable around me, as if on some intuitive level they know they can trust me and don't need to be guarded.

You may be saying, "ok, but what the heck does this have to do with what I'm talking about?" I'd reply with, "everything... you just need to look under the surface to see how things really tick." You can try methods, tricks, and other suck gimmicks to be successful, but you'll forever be drawing on the strengths of someone else and not your own. When you find fundamental ideas and concepts that universally relate to everyone, and you make use of them in a way that aligns with your strongest, most persistent personal assets, I think you'll find as I have that you no longer have a use for "methods" and "processes." Simply being yourself is enough.

But I don't mean that in the passive, often unsatisfying, "be yourself" way; I mean it in the very active way where you're constantly ensuring that you're staying true to yourself and taking your focus off anything that gets in the way of that. The difference is like somebody who says one thing, and does the other: one gets results, while the other would like to get results, and may seem to when you talk with them, but in actuality, enjoys minimal results and effectiveness.

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Angelwings

I want to change my PERSONALITY.

Angelwings, a while back I wrote an article giving some tips on improving your personality. Have a look. It might give you some pointers. 10 Ways To Improve Your Personality

[JSB]

Originally Posted by Angelwings

at this stage, i m so desparate i m about to take off with anyone that want to take me. I ve been single all my life.

Angelwings, I totally sympathize with you as I felt pretty desperate myself in the past, but being with "just anyone" can be more miserable than being by yourself. (Honest!)

Originally Posted by Angelwings

Everyone loves BARBIE, she cant go wrong. She's a good example of d kind of traits people like- its so universal!

No, not EVERYONE loves Barbie! The "Barbie look" can be attractive, but it is NOT my first choice. Also, Eva Longoria --- personally, she leaves me cold. (Not that my opinion on attractiveness is what matters to you -- it's just an example.)

You talk about wanting to be "the girl all the guys kill for," but how about focusing on being the girl who finds the right guy for her, rather than a Hollywood fantasy, at least for step one!

You talk about changing your personality, but maybe you just need to change your presentation.

You have a great point when you write that you want to understand how others see you. Take a public speaking course (where your presentations are videotaped), take an acting class, or join Toastmasters -- something where you can get immediate feedback on how you are presenting yourself. You can even go out with a trusted friend who can give you feedback on your interactions with others.

Once you have an idea how you are coming across, then you can decide what you want to work on. Until you have accurate feedback, it will be more difficult to make effective changes to your presentation.

[Doku]

Ok,
As a guy, married to a woman who was, as she puts it, "not the pick of the litter", and a guy who has had more than his fair share of women, here's my take:

A) The assumption is that you are looking for "the one".

1) Step out of your shell.
In my experience, the reason that most of the women who strike out do so is this: They got shot down in the past, and aren't ACTUALLY trying. They will claim to be trying, looking, etc. But the truth of the matter is that they say, "hi", and don't immediately get asked out on a date, and call that trying. The ones that are successful will carry on a full conversation. "Hi. Class sucked today, didn't it?" "Oh, you liked the class? really??" "Oh, what makes you say that?" "Ahhh. you could relate to it because you grew up on a farm. Where?" "Well, I'm from Georgia, but my family used to visit NY a lot. It seems quite nice there. Don't you get sick of the snow?" Keep going. As long as you seem interested in a guy, most will gladly talk about their history, experiences, hobbies, desires, etc. "Oh, you like pit beef? I love the stuff! There's an amazing place just down the road. Have you ever been there?" "No? Well, it's almost dinner time. Care to take a walk?"
If you keep them talking, you can either find some common ground, or find that you have no interest in persuing it any farther.

2) Dress the part. If you don't want to be treated like a little girl, don't dress like one, don't twirl your hair, or smack your gum, or constantly say 'like', or any of the other annoying things that little girls tend to do. Dress the part, act the part, and you will VERY quickly become the part. (and, by the way, 30 layers of make-up = kid, not adult)

3) Apart from the clothes and some speech patterns, do NOT change. There is nothing worse than getting 3-6-12 months down the road, and saying "Man, you've changed since we met!" because you have not changed, just merely grew comfortable with the situation, and reverted back to who you truely are... and then you have 6+ months invested in a relationship that was based on, essentially, lies, and it falls apart. Trust me, you'd prefer to be single and never had that six month experience.

B) You just want to get laid.

1) Dress like an adult.
2) Since you are observing the behavior of college kids (bad examples, by the way), I am going to assume that you are in college.
2a) Slightly "off the norm" either a bit short, a bit overweight, a bit tall, stick figure, etc.
Sit in the lounge of your dorm around about 10pm. Pick a guy coming in, preferably with one or two friends. Approach him, say that you're bored and would like him to stop by. Tell him your room number, and go back to your room. Wait about 10 minutes. Should work 75+% of the time.
2b) Much "off the norm". Same as above, but pick a single guy.
2c) If you're a bit of a freak, approach the group and tell the group that you're bored, and want them to stop by.

Disclaimer: While I do not endorse "type B", I understand it, and am simply providing you the information. OH! And whatever you do, BE SOBER. Do NOT get drunk/high/... Nothing good ever comes of those situations.

[fascinoma]

Originally Posted by Angelwings

I want to change my PERSONALITY.
I m pissed off when people tell me i m INNOCENT. People just cant take me seriously enough. I want to be taken seriously and start behaving like a WOMEN not a girl. How do u go about that?

...

I ve been laughed at today during a 5mins video recording practice of talking infront of the camera and act out a scene. An actor laughed at me. Its not the first time when i give a public speaking, people laughed when i did my presentation awhile ago.

Anyway, i noticed that i wear alot of jeans. Maybe i should start wearing a dress. I think men like dresses- its universal i guess?

What's the universal traits/character people generally like? I m want to change my traits, this hopefully i develop a belief that I m MATURE WOMAN.

So sick of not being taken seriously coz i laugh alot in college. Maybe is my voice. i should be less cheerful when i talk,

OK, I read enough... maybe you're a sweet, funny girl rather than a va-va-voom femme fatale bombshell. There's lots of guys that'd rather be with the former, probably more in fact, I'd wager. I'm sure you've got your takers, but you're so down on yourself and so busy trying to be someone else that you don't see them!

People forget that half of Marilyn Monroe's appeal was that she could also make people laugh.

There is no universal attractive type. Eva Longoria is only ONE TYPE. Not saying you should imitate some other person at all, but I'm pointing out... there are a lot of different types.

For every guy that wants Eva Longoria there's one that wants Renee Zellweger, Drew Barrymore, or Meg Ryan/Melanie Griffith back in the day...

[jaamkie]

careful what you wish for- being a "guy magnet" sounds pretty hellish... I mean do you really want every guy falling all over you? ugh! be a happy confident version of yourself, put yourself in situations to meet a lot of different people that you find interesting (for me that is smiling at guys in the bookstore, volunteer teaching an ESL class, playing rec soccer... I like smart international compassionate active guys- for you could be totally different), put a bit of short-term effort into looking nice and appropriate for the situations (look like you want to be there...), and if there seems to be an attraction with some guy then flirt a bit and let him have your number- it isn't that hard...

[Brutha]

Another guy perspective:
If you want to know which autfit makes you seem more attractiv you can take various photos in different autfits and upload them to HOT or NOT .

From a quick look over your past messages one the forum, low self esteem could be one of your main problems.
If you don't love yourself why should other people love you?

[Angela]

Angelwings, I think part of what might be getting in your way is that you are approaching things from a perspective of what you can *get* like: desirability, validation, love, romance, sex,... whatever it is for you, what you're focusing on is all for you.

I think we tend to be attracted to people who are less concerned about *getting* something out of someone, and more towards people who are just spontaneously generating wonderful things, for themselves, for others, and for the world. Generators are just way more fun to be with than Getters.

I'm not talking about giving yourself away, or being inauthentic -- I'm talking about you boldly looking at what would make a difference for YOU in living a life you love: what is it? courage? suppleness? directness? love? joy? freedom? What would inspire YOU if you were generating it, and would have you really feeling good regardless of what others do or think? Being the source of what you want -- that's what will have the perfect men orbiting you.

[yossarian]

The problem with changing who you are to play a role is that the role takes more and more energy to play and then you eventually can't sustain it anymore. It takes too much effort.

If you want to have guys falling in love with you constantly, you could sort of take a statistical approach, find exactly what traits most guys love, and then put a lot of work into displaying those traits.

This will certainly work - guys will fall in love with you while you display these traits.

But the problem is that it takes so much energy to do this that eventually you won't be able to keep it up long-term.

This is why I personally don't try to do that anymore.

But anyway if you are still want to play a role, it definitely starts with physical appearance. Remember the 80/20 rule - 20% of the effort gets 80% of the result. You'll want to ensure you're putting in the 20% effort to get 80% of the result, and then move on to the next category. This will be the most effective use of your energy.

So make sure you're getting the 80% from physical attractiveness first and then work on getting the 80% from personality. If you obsess with one thing over the other you won't get the results you could be getting.

Ultimately though, if you ask me, you're doomed to eventually realize that it wasn't worth the effort and you won't find satisfaction from achieving popularity. Your true satisfaction will be found through some other avenue.

[Tea of Doom]

Hey angelwings, let me tell you something that has happenned to me.

A while ago, in high school, i wanted to attract a girl that I really liked. But I knew that I couldn't do it with my personality, atleast not completely. So I decided to partially change it, tried to interest myself in what she liked etc etc etc. Eventually, after months of hard work, luck and because of my strong intuition I finally got out with her and I was really proud of myself at first. But one of the things that I immediately realised was how HARD it is to maintain a fake personality (even if you'r faking just some aspects of it). But I wasn't going to give up so I maintained it. After just a few months I found myself compltely depleted of energy, depressed and very anxious. So we eventually broke up.

The problem with changing who you are to play a role is that the role takes more and more energy to play and then you eventually can't sustain it anymore.

Absolutely true.

I'm observing the traits/characters of the popular people in college.

In my opinion, you should be observing the people who have a successfull relationship instead! Beeing popular has it's good side, but personally, as a guy, I really wouldn't like to go out with a girl and to find out that every1 knows about it the next day. Besides, sincerely, from what i'v seen in my short lifespan, I think that some of the traits that often make people ''popular'' do not benefit you at all.

As to answer your question:

There isn't a single type of girl that guys feel attracted to. I think any man in this forum can agree with this sentence. But there are some common traits that guys are usually looking for.

A healthy phisical appearance is probably the most important of them. You wouldn't feel attracted to an anorexic man that never washes himself would you? It's the same thing for men. One of the things we seek in girls is not the ''sexy'' but the ''healthy''. So that being said, the fact that you are trying to lose weight is GREAT.

Another important thing is intellect, I personally find it to be a BIG turn-off when I see a sexy girl and I find out that she is stupid.

The last one would probably be genuineness, this is utterly important. Usually relationship that envolve people who are not 100% genuine in their feelings and thoughts will not last long.

As for the other traits, it depends on the person you are asking. Any man on this forum has different things he likes in how a girl dresses (personally I prefer punks to barbie dolls), how a girl acts, what she does and the things she is interested in.

[joethejoeguy]

heres some basic advice, all true

Tynan is… Better Than Your Boyfriend♥»♥ Get Yourself a Man, Girrrrrrrl!

very interesting blog too.

also, we could give you some better advice if you describe yourself a little.

[sadavis00]

Looks are a shell, change them to adapt. Get plastic surgery, get liposuction, nice clothes, whatever you need to "look" attractive. But really, I doubt the problem is looks, its probably that, like all girls, you wait till some guy asks you out. Why not be proactive, turn the tables, ask-out strangers, whomever, whereever the opportunity? Surely, 1/1000 (a very pessimistic estimate) will be say yes!

[edwardmccaughan]

looks aren't just about how big your boobs are and how much skin you're showing off...
-smile! be cheerful and happy and you get bonus points (more bonus points if you can genuinely be a happy upbeat person)
-eye contact! if you like a guy, be sure and do the burning eye contact thing when you're talking to him (hint: if you forget to do it, try working out what colour someones eyes are when you're talking to them)
-flirt! kind of optional and needs to be used wisely, but a bit of innuendo and playful naughtiness can get your intentions across.
-understand men! a bit of a tricky one to learn, guys work different to girls, so if you can work out what a guy means when he says something you'll save yourself a lot of heartache. Admittedly you need to balance and make sure the guy understands you as well, but be sure and do your side of it too.



On the changing yourself thing? I think its not so much "stay as you are" vs "pretend to be someone you're not so people will like you", more changing into what you should/want to be.

Eg: practicing talking to strangers will train you to be more friendly. You'll have changed as a person, but you'll still be you. Joining the party clique because they're "cool" if you're not really a partyer would be going against who you are, but learning how to have fun and enjoy parties would still be you being you, just with more skills.

I'm sure theres a more sophisticated version about ego and all that, but I still don't quite get it enough to explain it like that.

become sassy, independant and feminine because *you* want to, do the whole personal devlopment path and learn how to "be yourself" (if only because having to deal with insecure girls gets reaaaaaaally boring for guys)



oh! oh! one more thing! most important thing in dating ever!!!!!!!!

do what works for you!
to hell with what people tell you to do, look at what you've done before and pay attention to what works and what doesn't. Find the patterns of what led to good stuff and what led to bad stuff. work out what kind of guy you like and what kind pisses you off! try all the different stuff that people tell you to, but only so you can work out if it works, not because its what you're "supposed" to do

[Rockchick26]

Aww this is totally hitting home for me! I can relate to you,Angelwings! I want to change my personality too. And i know what you mean about wanting to feel like a woman not a girl. I am 35 but i look and act like a teenager (the act part is only true sometimes ,of course LOL) But whenever i meet guys and i like them,they only like me as a friend and they usually end up picking on me or laughing at me for how i am. I laugh a lot,i get amused by silly little things and most people just seem more laid back and cool about stuff. I think thats why i give off the 'immature little innocent girl' vibe. I've also barely had sex before so that doesn't help either. And my dad still treats me like a kid,that doesnt help either. Do you have parents who still treat you like a kid?

Like others have said,your appearance can only go so far and i honestly think the personality is what gets the guy. So i understand what youre saying about the personality being the problem. And dont feel bad about being 22 and still single,i didnt get a boyfriend until i was 26,and he was an immature loser with very few friends. I only dated him cuz he had long hair and played guitar (which is my weakness,musicians). Please don't settle on just anyone like i did! It's a waste of your time cuz you're never fully happy and it only keeps you from finding someone who you would be happy with.

[Erki]

Ride a skateboard and do dangerous stunts.

[wolfgang]

If there's a universal trait that is attractive - it's someone that knows themselves and likes who they are. It doesn't matter as much what you are as long as you know what it is. It's a confidence, maybe - but not even that because if you know that you aren't confident and are ok with that - that is attractive too. People that know themselves are easy to understand and "get". They are naturally humorous and humorous with themselves. They don't make excuses for being how they are or think they need to be drastically different, yet they know there are things to learn about themselves too.

At least that's what I find attractive. Someone that knows themselves.

[DayInTheLife]

Originally Posted by wolfgang

If there's a universal trait that is attractive - it's someone that knows themselves and likes who they are. It doesn't matter as much what you are as long as you know what it is. It's a confidence, maybe - but not even that because if you know that you aren't confident and are ok with that - that is attractive too. People that know themselves are easy to understand and "get". They are naturally humorous and humorous with themselves. They don't make excuses for being how they are or think they need to be drastically different, yet they know there are things to learn about themselves too.

At least that's what I find attractive. Someone that knows themselves.

Spot on, wolfgang. There is nothing more attractive than somebody who genuinely likes him- or herself, and there is nothing more unattractive than somebody who does not.

I've given up trying to get people to like me. I was always trying to modify something about me; to add some desirable quality that will make me attractive. It was exactly that habit -- which is really just an exercise in self-rejection -- that kept people away.

Seeking the approval of others is the cause of this. I was an 'approval junkie'... I lived for those moments where somebody would be visibly impressed by something I said or did. Terrible habit I didn't even know I had.

Identify every instance in which you are trying to 'look good' to somebody else, and recognize it as the bad habit it is. Look good to yourself, and make no excuses for who you are or what you want. Anybody who is not interested is simply not interested; it's nothing you said or did or wore. You never have to worry about that if you are not trying to impress anybody.

When you are truly indifferent to whether you receive approval or adoration for others, people will be attracted to you. It's like magic.

Be easy on yourself.

[The Cloud]

I want the one thing that can't be faked. I want self-assurance, intelligence, uniqueness. I'm 22 and single as well, and I must say that I believe that you'd be much better off figuring out what you want to be and then allowing that to attract a guy rather than becoming a preprogrammed sassy robot. Because it doesn't work, because the guys you really want will see right through it, and the guys you don't want will see right through it but won't care. This won't get you a guy right away, but it will get you the right guy, and it will make you happier even without him.

[Angela]

Danger Man does sort of like it when I be a preprogrammed sassy robot.

[Plato]

SHORT SKIRT AND LOW CUT TOP! LOTS OF MAKEUP!

Hehehehe, no it's all in the eyes. And the voice. And the way you hold yourself. And what does that come from? Being happy.

[Spartan]

Angelwings why do you want to be a 'guy magnet'? Seriously?

Is sex what you're after? If so the internet is a sure bet.

If you're after a loving relationship with someone that loves you for who you are, then being a 'guy magnet' may not prove that helpful. Also, I don't really believe that a 'guy magnet' actually exists. Everyone finds different attributes attractive.

Also, you sound like the stereotypical high school girl who wants to be miss popular, miss pretty, miss bleading perfect! Well that's not the attitude of a mature woman, is it?

Stop being so hard on yourself. Plenty of people haven't had a relationship well into their twenties. Just accept yourself for who you are, and stop idealizing some false image of perfection that doesn't exist.

On another note, do you talk openly with guys about being single? If they knew you were single perhaps they would ask you out. Because I know from experience that a lot of girls who act very flirtatious actually have boyfriends. This tendency amongst certain women makes guys less responsive to flirting in general. Some guys need you to virtually write 'single and looking' on your forehead! Also, you could try asking someone you like out?! Be proactive (if you aren't already being so).

[GoingPrimal]

Angelwings, I'd like to say that innocence is one of the qualities I find most appealing in women.

I'll just tell you what qualities I enjoy in a woman.

GP likes...

innocence

smarts

wits

kind and caring

a strong motherly instinct

non needy

this ones a little hard to get across, but a mix of passivity and submission. I know two girls who are like this and I find it HOT. I like strong women who go for what they want in life with gusto, but there's a certain submission that I really find attractive. I think it plays into a primal desire to ravish a woman... dunno if that helped you. I'm not saying let anyone walk over you, but more of giving off a slight vibe to someone whom you're sexually attracted to that you'd submit to them... very enticing.

able to get into deep conversations, having depth

feisty

also, a bit of a challenge


And let me say that being a "guy magnet" is no problem in my book. Someone who wants sex is and is open about it, whether male or female, is very mature person. We all have needs and wants to be fulfilled, and if you're having smart sex and using some discrepancy more power to you. I'm not saying you just want sex but we all want to feel wanted by the opposite sex, no?

And if this innocence thing is bothering you, add a sexual undertone to things that you do. I find innocence to be charming, especially mixed with some sexuality.

wolfgang wins best response, however.

[Marco Polo]

Dress slutty and the guys will be all over you.

No, I'm only joking... or am I?