What do you want to give up but your brain don't?

[BChris]

I dont know if the title is clear but what I mean is when you have something that you say you want to quit doing but deep in your mind you dont actually want to.

In my example I consider myself introverted and I enjoy things such as Reading, Writting, Learning new things by myself. I want to be more social and outgoing but this is hard because deep inside I still want to be introverted and my mind dont want to quit doing this things. Im not enjoying life at its best doing things alone and passive so I know I need to change but Im struggling changing because of this.

[Marshall]

I'd second that. I tend to be more introverted than I'd ideally like to be. But more than just introverted in the casual way, I'd like to be more focused on helping others. Not being outgoing and preferring to keep to myself are both just manifestations of the deeper problem of focusing on what I want and what is good for me rather than what could be beneficial to others.

[highanddry]

First, you do not have to choose between the things you currently enjoy and those you would like to become better at. Becoming more socially adept is not something that must come at the expense of reading and writing. In fact, a love for literature and learning should be very helpful as you slowly integrate new social skills: most fictional stories are, at root, examinations of human interaction and relationships. They're about power, cooperation, deception, and friendship. Try looking at other people as real life examples of the characters from your books, and use the lessons learned therein. Don't abandon your reading; start applying it. If you enjoy writing, begin writing about the people you know, but still have trouble socializing with. Scribble out short character studies as though you're creating a new protagonist for a novel, but you're only allowed to use actual information you know about the person from real life. What are their motivations? What drives them? What do they care about? What important events in their life shaped the way they act? Once you get into it, you'll quickly find that you may not have enough raw data to derive good answers to these questions... so start asking. Find ways to slip innocuous questions into conversation - you'll find people love to talk about themselves if you only give them an opportunity. Make it a goal to collect one new piece of information every two or three days.

It's a game, it's built around your own strengths, and it will help you use those strengths to become more social (which will, I promise, make you more happy). Best of all, it gives you an excuse to do even MORE reading, writing, and learning.

[Nelson]

I want to quit getting distracted by my friends so I can do more work, at the same time I want to have fun by hanging out with my friends.

[Plato]

Anthony Robbins would agree. He says you have to change your associations NLP stylee, to make real change.

[Love]

I love eating crushed ice. I don't know how I got started eating it, but now I love it. However, sometimes I eat too much and I get a sore throat. I realize that it is completely stupid and that I should stop. I have tried stopping several times but have failed each time because deep down, I don't REALLY want to quit. Ah!

[jaamkie]

oh I feel the same way- there are not enough hours in the day, not enough energy to do everything- I want to volunteer more, take courses in economics, cook/bake and have dinner parties, draw more, learn to play an instrument, practice Arabic and Spanish, have more friends and keep up better with old ones, read a greater variety of books, focus and be more ambitious and have more energy at work, spend more time with family, exercise for longer amounts of time... there is just not enough time to do everything I want to do, and I have no idea how to prioritize- sometimes I think I should cut out most of it and focus, other times I want to try to fit it all in to be more well-rounded

[Thomas]

David Allen recommends Someday/Maybe lists. That way, you are not overwhelmed by the richness of what life offers and can safely store ideas for later. The key to these lists is a periodical review to make sure that all things on the list are either still interesting enough to wait for a later moment or that those that are becoming hot enough for the current moment are actually become 'activated'/used.

[BChris]

Originally Posted by Thomas

David Allen recommends Someday/Maybe lists. That way, you are not overwhelmed by the richness of what life offers and can safely store ideas for later. The key to these lists is a periodical review to make sure that all things on the list are either still interesting enough to wait for a later moment or that those that are becoming hot enough for the current moment are actually become 'activated'/used.

I'm going to try to make a Someday/Maybe list. Im going to have problems choosing what to do now and what to do later because I want to make a lot of things but for some reason end up doing nothing. huh!

[danijelg]

This list is a great idea. In general it's good to write things down for later evaluation.

I think we end up doing nothing exactly because we try to do everything at once. You know - life is short and stuff. But the great lesson to learn is that prioritizing is not about letting go of interests and desires, it's simply leaving some of them for later. Life may be short, but if we end up doing nothing - it's also a life wasted.

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by BChris

I'm going to try to make a Someday/Maybe list. Im going to have problems choosing what to do now and what to do later because I want to make a lot of things but for some reason end up doing nothing. huh!

Try starting out with writing a list without title, i. e. just a collection of everything you'd like to do. Get your head completely empty of reminders. When you're done (no more items appearing) go through the list again and decide which things you'll do (read 'activate') and which not (read 'put on Someday/Maybe' lists). Of course, while you're doing this and in the future you may want to add to the first, basic collection list, which is ok. You should add to that list whenever you have something new you'd like to do. With time you'll be filing it into Active or Someday/Maybe directly, though, so you don't necessarily have to take the step of a collection list in between.

[Thomas]

Originally Posted by danijelg

This list is a great idea. In general it's good to write things down for later evaluation.

I think we end up doing nothing exactly because we try to do everything at once. You know - life is short and stuff. But the great lesson to learn is that prioritizing is not about letting go of interests and desires, it's simply leaving some of them for later. Life may be short, but if we end up doing nothing - it's also a life wasted.

The key thought being that realizing that you can't possibly do everything during what people perceive to be life expectancy at the moment. Even if projects like SENS are completed to their utmost goals, limitations to some amounts will exist and prevent you from doing everything possibly possible. So, in some sense, the realization that you can't do everything and that some things won't get done make need for a way to do those things that are more important. And assigning importancy works best if you know your purpose and values.