Jealous of Boyfriend & X Texting

[SilliWabbit]

I need some advice on this. I found out that my boyfriend of 4 mos. and his ex-live in girlfriend who is now married are texting each other all the time. He says she wants to go back with him but he doesn't have anything good to say about her. Last week when he was with me they were texting because she was threatening to have his utilities cut off (lol) because they are in her name. I got upset that they were doing this in my presence. Am I overreacting and do I need to be concerned about this? Help!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by SilliWabbit

I got upset that they were doing this in my presence.

Would you feel better if they were doing it behind your back?

[robc]

and a hush falls over the crowd....

That's the truth, in the end, they can text in front of you and you know about it or they can text behind your back without you knowing about it - pick your pleasure.

Are you afraid that if your BF text's his ex that they will get back together again? If that is a possibility (and technically thinking about that brings LOA into the picture and guess what, that could actually manifest), if it is possible you don't have alot you can do about it anyways.

You can bring it up to your boyfriend and tell him you're uncomfortable with it: he can view it as you being jealous & controlling and that might push him away, he might view it as you being a loving girlfriend who wants him all to herself and he might like that alot. It's hard to say, predicting how someone will act in a given situation is sometimes like picking winning lottery numbers, just hope for the best.

Or you can let it be. This requires the least amount of energy.
If you have faith & trust in your boyfriend that he won't cheat on you & leave you for someone else because you haven't given him reason to do so, then let him text whoever he wants to. Most of life can fit under 3 things: people want to be happy, people don't want to be controlled, people want what they don't have. If you break one of those rules, you can expect negative things to happen.

I recommend don't control him and don't tell him what he can't or can do. If you do try to control him, he may return the favor and attempt to control things you do that he doesn't like.

The only control you have is on yourself, control your own thoughts & actions, that's all you have power to do. Good luck!

[SilliWabbit]

I suppose I should have clarified the relationship. I called him my boyfriend because we have been together every weekend since the first of Dec., & talk or text each other during the week, (we live in different cities) but we have not made a commitment to each other. I would rather not know that they are texting each other. I text & email other guys but I don't do it in front of him and I don't talk about other guys to him, I think it's rude. I think what I'm going to do is quit calling him my boyfriend and call him "someone I date". I think I'm disappointed that I found out that he has excess personal "baggage" but it's none of my business what they do, I just don't want it thrown in my face. My instinct is to bolt!

[Angela]

Well, a new romance has a way of helping a person let go of their old baggage. I think you're smart not to call him your "boyfriend" yet. Good luck!

[SilliWabbit]

Thank you!