why do people get bored

[sonicpunk32]

i have always been amazed that people would get bored. restless, it's like as if they are dying, and need something to entertain their minds or else they die. how come i dont get bored? i can be talking to a person, and unless they receive constant talking, they suddenly get "bored" and move to something else, i just dont understand this? or maybe something is wrong with me?

i just watch my girlfriend leave with desperation and her reason was "it's not that i have to, i'm just exorbantly bored." heh.. i lose the opportunity to spend time with my girlfriend cause she's bored... i just dont understand.

[Rockchick26]

Yeah i don't understand this either! I don't have enough time in my day to get done what i want to get done,i dont know how people just dont HAVE anything to do! I have this friend that has 4 jobs because she can't handle sitting around doing nothing! And whenever we go out,she HAS to keep herself busy up to the time when i'm ready because she gets bored waiting for me! I don't get it either. I would say its something in our water or food but then we'd all be this way LOL Some type of adult ADD,apparently. I also know a guy who gets "antsy" (in his own words) whenever he's sitting around at home,like he needs to go out and do something. Where me,i have about 10 things i would like to do,and i usually only have time for 3 or 4 of them. I could be unemployed and still not do everything i want. We need some bored people to come on here and explain themselves LOL Don't bored people have any hobbies or interests? That has to be the problem.

[sonicpunk32]

my thoughts EXACTLY, Rockchick26. as much as i dont like to admit it, my mind is slow, and i'm hyper sensitive to my environment and to any kind of thought emanating from anyone's brain. so i'm pretty much either overloaded with my own thoughts, or overloaded with my environment, always striving to get some TIME just to do the things i want to do, or talk to the people i want to talk to.

lol, but i guess with others, like my girlfriend, they have things to do, but finish them so fast. their psyches arent sensitive, i guess. they're not stimulated with energy from within, so they have to constantly seek it outside of themselves. in fact, yeah.. i think that's it... me and you Rockchick26, we dont get bored because we have our own source of energy that keeps our mind at peace from within. those who get bored dont have this internal energy to comfort their minds, so they seek it outside of themselves. i think this is the difference between introversion and extroversion? i'm not sure, just my only theory.

[sonicpunk32]

i wonder how i can get along with her, cause i dont get bored, and she does. this could be a problem.

[sheffy4]

I admit that I feel "bored" sometimes. I think it happens when I am doing things without really being engaged in them, so I feel like I'm not really doing anything. Also, sometimes if I say I'm bored, it's not that I don't have anything to do, but that none of the things I could do sound appealing at the time.
Once again, I think it's just a case of being detached and unengaged.

[sonicpunk32]

Originally Posted by sheffy4

Also, sometimes if I say I'm bored, it's not that I don't have anything to do, but that none of the things I could do sound appealing at the time.

there have been times when i've wanted to say that i'm bored just cause i didnt have interesting things to say or do that i'd think people might enjoy. of course they were interesting to me, i just didnt know if they'd be interesting to them.

[Angela]

Is it that she's bored with what she's doing, or bored in a conversation?

[sonicpunk32]

i dont know, i havent gotten a chance to ask. this was today.

[iseethelight]

i dont really understand why people get bored so easily..especially nowadays when you have tv, dvd, mp3, games consoles, health clubs, pubs, holidays, friends, mobiles, fashion, cars the list goes on..there are so many materialistic things to keep one occupied for a lifetime so why get bored?

personally i just dont have the time to get bored even if i have nothing to do all day..

[aggie]

i agree with all of you that have quite enough to do and never get bored.

i never do either...i wish i had time to get bored.

the only time i really got bored once was a job i had for 13 years as a unit cooridinator at a hospital....i would go over in my mind i'll do this when i first get there, then i'll do that, then i'll have to do that....it started to burn me out and i changed jobs and it is one that has a little bit of a mix up everyday to the usual routine.

in life tho'...never!

i have actually had other women tell me they would be bored if they didn't work because all there was to do was shop...are they kidding?

it may have to do with the inner peace/energy balance you are talking about, but i have known people that were bored simply because they were jaded and self centered. they felt they had seen and done it all....and never think about what they may be able to do for others.

[James81]

What were you doing when the girlfriend said that?

[ttt]

As a child i used to get bored when i needed some kind of activity, but i couldn't figure out how to get it. So i did other things to forget that i was bored Then i used to lack energy even when there were otherwise exciting things to do. Lack of energy results in boredom in my opinion, instead of boredom resulting in lack of energy.

[Indiana]

I had a friend who would always respond, "I'm bored and restless" when I asked him how he was. Then he would complain about other people and how he wished he had a different job/were living somewhere else/blah blah blah. For a while I tried to help him talk through his issues/find solutions, or bring up interesting topics of discussion, but it was really hard work. I started to feel like a performing monkey.

So I stopped hanging out with him. I feel much better for it. He's probably still bored but at least I don't have to hear about it.

Next time your girlfriend says she's bored, ask her what she'd rather do. If she can't think of anything or says she just doesn't want to hang out, think carefully about where your relationship is going. It is very draining to spend time with someone who requires a large amount of input but does not give much back.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Indiana

I had a friend who would always respond, "I'm bored and restless" when I asked him how he was. Then he would complain about other people and how he wished he had a different job/were living somewhere else/blah blah blah. For a while I tried to help him talk through his issues/find solutions, or bring up interesting topics of discussion, but it was really hard work. I started to feel like a performing monkey.

So I stopped hanging out with him. I feel much better for it. He's probably still bored but at least I don't have to hear about it.
.

We get bored as a sign that we need to do something else to have more fun, I think... Just like if you get cold you need to put a sweatshirt on...

if you ask someone a question and they say "bored and restless" continuously (like Indiana's friend) then they're probably not really looking for solutions but wanting to vent how much their life sucks..

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by brendannz

We get bored as a sign that we need to do something else to have more fun, I think... Just like if you get cold you need to put a sweatshirt on...

if you ask someone a question and they say "bored and restless" continuously (like Indiana's friend) then they're probably not really looking for solutions but wanting to vent how much their life sucks..

Yeah, reading over what I wrote, and what you wrote in response, it strikes me that when someone complains of boredom, they are expressing their own (voluntary) disempowerment, and trying to make someone else fix it.

[Mogget]

Originally Posted by sonicpunk32

i have always been amazed that people would get bored. restless, it's like as if they are dying, and need something to entertain their minds or else they die. how come i dont get bored? i can be talking to a person, and unless they receive constant talking, they suddenly get "bored" and move to something else, i just dont understand this? or maybe something is wrong with me?

i just watch my girlfriend leave with desperation and her reason was "it's not that i have to, i'm just exorbantly bored." heh.. i lose the opportunity to spend time with my girlfriend cause she's bored... i just dont understand.

I have a pretty short attention span at times and can get bored quite easily - I like to be entertained - if a conversation is not paced rapidly enough, literally a words per minute thing, my mind wanders and I think of other things and can then interrupt or generally break rapport and seem rude. I don't mean to be, but I am just thinking/speaking/changing topics too quickly for the other person (or they are going too slow for me).

If I am feeling very uptime, with a lot on focus on external stimulus and hanging out with someone who is currently very downtime or introspective there usually isn't enough unconscious similarity to our states for good rapport to exist - this usually hits the conscious mind as "bored now" and "go find something else to do".

I have heard boredom defined as "Focusing on everything that is NOT happening".

You might consider working on your rapport building skills, as people in deep rapport with each other seldom seem to be out of synch with boredom, and tend to find each other very interesting and entertaining.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Indiana

Yeah, reading over what I wrote, and what you wrote in response, it strikes me that when someone complains of boredom, they are expressing their own (voluntary) disempowerment, and trying to make someone else fix it.

Yeah, it actually reminded me of a friend I had, who'd say "Bored" when you say "how are you" seemed like she just got out of bed every morning to complain as much as possible, and basically every event you went to, she'd talk about how much she didn't enjoy it etc.etc... I remember I said something about her complaining and she said "I complain all I want to" Was pleasant, and OK sometimes, but usually difficult to be around.

She was a mate's girlfriend.. made me wonder about him a little bit..

[this is fun]

Originally Posted by sonicpunk32

they're not stimulated with energy from within, so they have to constantly seek it outside of themselves. in fact, yeah.. i think that's it... me and you Rockchick26, we dont get bored because we have our own source of energy that keeps our mind at peace from within. those who get bored dont have this internal energy to comfort their minds, so they seek it outside of themselves.

I started writing my answer but now I see you already said it well. I'm not sure if this could be applied to all but the people I know who get bored easily do seem to want to be entertained by some external factors.

I never get bored ( granted I may be boring for some people though). It doesn't mean my day has to be filled with activities, I can just as well sit at home with my own thoughts, or observe people and things.
Two days ago I was returning from my vacation and my flight was delayed for two and a half hours, but I didn't get bored waiting, I used that time to read a bit, talk a bit, plan what I needed to do when I get home, observe other people etc.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by this is fun

I never get bored ( granted I may be boring for some people though). It doesn't mean my day has to be filled with activities, I can just as well sit at home with my own thoughts, or observe people and things.
Two days ago I was returning from my vacation and my flight was delayed for two and a half hours, but I didn't get bored waiting, I used that time to read a bit, talk a bit, plan what I needed to do when I get home, observe other people etc.

I'm the same, I don't get bored, I'm really easily entertained, I can just go for a walk, to end my boredom.. I think being an introvert has a bit to do with that though, I can just wander in my own thoughts and work on my own projects..

[CoolBee]

I rarely get bored at home as I have tons of projects to avoid doing
I used to get bored in interminable meaningless meetings at work.

Now I get bored on the rare occasions I decide to go out with a bunch of expats whose idea of a fun night out is sitting in a Brit Club or expensive bar in a hotel done out like a Brit Pub and getting plastered.

It is SOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo boring - I don't drink alcohol and I'm not interested in spending time discussing everyone's 'what he/she did when absolutely rat-arsed' adventures.

I go about twice a year - maybe for a special occasion like a birthday - because the people individually or in small groups are nice people that I like. They go twice a week!

[yesman]

It's the way our society is that causes our generation to get bored easily. Think about, entertainment comes way too easy for us. At home, we can turn on the TV or the computer and stay entertained for hours without putting any effort. Outside, we can take out our blackberries and start texting, chatting, or surf the internet. There's also movie theatres, amusement parks, concerts, etc. that we can all go to when we're bored and it's all easy entertainment. And with all this endless entertainment, do you think we'd all be satisfied and never get bored? Nope... it just causes us to want more.

See there was a time where we all would appreciate the simple things in life. We could sit on a rock by the river and stare endlessly at the water and take in all the sounds as the waves splash against the rocks. And that would be fulfilling to us. We would have the patience to sit for hours and make crafts from wood. And that would be fulfilling to us. We would lie down on the grass and stare endlessly at the sky above and day dream or reflect on life. And again, that would be fulfilling to us.

Nowadays, we don't have the patience to appreciate these things. We're used to things or others entertaining us and we become impatient if it doesn't come soon enough. We just cannot put the effort to find entertainment from within.

[shasah]

I think it's great that most of the answers are from people that don't get bored. I am, unfortunately, not one of them. Yesterday, I took a vacation day and all my friends were at work. I was okay in the morning, went to the gym around 11, still good, but around 4PM, I found myself becoming bored. Texted a friend who's always home at that time, and she was out. Another friend that I thought would be available and she was on a 5 mile run. I was about to go stir crazy, so I hopped in my car with my MP3 and went to the local park for a walk. This fortunately did the trick until my friends were back.

Why did I become bored? TV doesn't interest me, most games don't interest me, fiction no longer holds any appeal, needed some social interaction and couldn't find it. All those things used to interest me, but don't anymore. I think I might be becoming an adrenaline junky. I want the next rush, I want to be doing, participating, finding things in life that make me feel alive.

I guess next time it happens to me, I just need to get in my car and go someplace I've never been.

Last but not least, I lived many years satisfied with my life without many social connections. Seems like I changed from being an introvert into being an extrovert. Is that possible??

[deunan]

The only time I get bored is when I mistake lonliness for boredom. (which sounds pretty consistent with Maslows heirarchy of motivation)
the same may be quite true for other "bored" people who are simply hungry for human connection

oh yeah I also get bored when I have to chat about meaningless garbage with people out of politeness because its all they can comprehend. sorry I am a frustrated one.

[180]

I came up with a theory for this recently.

The human mind seeks novelty and differentiation as a tool for survival. Boredom forces us to explore opportunities. Let's assume a human doesn't get bored, he is stimulated and amazed doing nothing... or is awe inspired by something droll and meaningless like flipping coins.

This behavior would cause him to die. Boredom forces us to seek opportunities or to explore novelty.

This theory branches into humor... and why jokes are funny the first time around. Humor is connected to the endocrin system and we get boosts of happy serotonin every time we laugh. We know that the laughter is a result of unexpected neural pathways that have been connected unexpectedly. So we laugh and gain joy as sort of a.... motivation to seek this behavior more.

Laughter is addictive, we seek opportunties to find more of it. And laughter and humor is novelty. Our bodily system is programmed to seek it.

Which is my theory for why we feel boredom. Seriously imagine being perfectly happy doing the same thing everyday. can you see how this is disadvantageous?

[marinik]

Some people bore me to death. The ones that start sentences with I all the time, go on and on about the same things....talk about stuff that nobody is interested except them...

[Staraet]

Originally Posted by Mogget

I have a pretty short attention span at times and can get bored quite easily - I like to be entertained - if a conversation is not paced rapidly enough, literally a words per minute thing, my mind wanders and I think of other things and can then interrupt or generally break rapport and seem rude. I don't mean to be, but I am just thinking/speaking/changing topics too quickly for the other person (or they are going too slow for me).

If I am feeling very uptime, with a lot on focus on external stimulus and hanging out with someone who is currently very downtime or introspective there usually isn't enough unconscious similarity to our states for good rapport to exist - this usually hits the conscious mind as "bored now" and "go find something else to do".

I have heard boredom defined as "Focusing on everything that is NOT happening".

You might consider working on your rapport building skills, as people in deep rapport with each other seldom seem to be out of synch with boredom, and tend to find each other very interesting and entertaining.

Actually I entered this site (this thread directly) after a very long boredom when I searched 'bored' in google; so you can see how bored I'm in general. Regarding what you said about conversations I, in general, never talk much with others as they are mostly boring. I mean their talking. For me they talk so utterly uninteresting, so common talks, that I often leave the place, in worst cases just listen to them. Well it is glad to know I'm not the one like me.

However I like to discuss what 'Focusing on everything that is NOT happening' exactly means. I think it has to be 'Focusing on anything that is NOT happening'. There is a difference you see.

[Staraet]

Originally Posted by shasah

I think it's great that most of the answers are from people that don't get bored. I am, unfortunately, not one of them. Yesterday, I took a vacation day and all my friends were at work. I was okay in the morning, went to the gym around 11, still good, but around 4PM, I found myself becoming bored. Texted a friend who's always home at that time, and she was out. Another friend that I thought would be available and she was on a 5 mile run. I was about to go stir crazy, so I hopped in my car with my MP3 and went to the local park for a walk. This fortunately did the trick until my friends were back.

Why did I become bored? TV doesn't interest me, most games don't interest me, fiction no longer holds any appeal, needed some social interaction and couldn't find it. All those things used to interest me, but don't anymore. I think I might be becoming an adrenaline junky. I want the next rush, I want to be doing, participating, finding things in life that make me feel alive.

I guess next time it happens to me, I just need to get in my car and go someplace I've never been.

Last but not least, I lived many years satisfied with my life without many social connections. Seems like I changed from being an introvert into being an extrovert. Is that possible??

Actually a sudden change is not possible except in very rare cases. You might have changed because you realized that being a introvert is not always enjoyable. Hence due to which you have tried as an extrovert but not as a real one.

[Weaver]

Boredom means having nothing new to learn and/or experience.

The only time i go back to something again is because i forgot what i learned and/or experienced.

[carlyr]

So....it seems like most of you don't get bored and have problems understanding people that do. I would really like to understand the whole boredom thing also, because growing up as an only child in a strict(ish) family, 'bored' was not part of my vocabulary. As a child I could entertain myself for hours doing absolutely nothing and never really felt bored. Now I am in college and live with my boyfriend of 3 years, and it is becoming almost a constant thing. I hate the feeling--but I would probably describe it as some people have on here not as boredom but as restlessness. It's not that I don't have things to do, (actually I feel like I can never catch up), it's just that I cannot become genuinely interested in things. I can be interested in hobbies and stupid games on the computer and the like, but only for a few hours or days or weeks at the longest. And then it is back to searching for the next blissful distraction. I could probably blame my boyfriend because he is ADHD and grew up with a sibling and gaming devices, so he may have rubbed off on me, but it isn't him that is complaining. I feel bad too because it isn't that I am bored of him at all--I just wish there was something more important and engaging that we could be doing together. I guess life is bound to feel a bit meaningless when you are a poor college student, but I worry that this is something that will affect me after I have graduated and begin the type of life we have dreamed about living together. I hate people who feel like they need to be constantly entertained so it really isn't that, I just feel like I have no sense of purpose or drive. Where did my A-type personality go!!!

[gelatindessert]

I can explain from the point of view of someone who is almost permanently bored.

I get bored talking to people because I don't anticipate them ever telling me anything interesting.
I get bored of things and situations because I always feel like there's something better to be doing or somewhere more interesting to be.
I'm never content doing things other people enjoy or want to do, I get very, very restless.
I'm short tempered.
I get annoyed if people can't do things as quick or quicker than me, so I tend to either think I should have done it, or just do it myself in the first place to prevent the eventual annoyance.
I tend to set people off (annoy, aggravate etc) by saying provocative or unexpected things to amuse me and prevent boredom from having to listen to their inane babble.
I'm incredibly cynical and nihilistic, nothing seems that exciting because nothing is new, everything is trivial.
I tend to be annoyed by other peoples opinions because they are usually wrong, and can more often than not be easily refuted by asking probing and examining questions of their knowledge on the subject they have just expressed an opinion on, until they back down and admit that they shouldn't really have said something quite so ill informed and boring in the first place. As such I find it deplorable and incredibly boring that a vast majority of people have such poor general knowledge, I actually think most people shouldn't be allowed opinions.
(I'm really not interested in what happened on tv last night, or who put together the few pieces of fabric to make the dress that *generic female celebrity* wore at *self gratifying industry awards ceremony* last night)


I constantly feel like I'm waiting for something, or that there's something I need to do, but I don't know what it is.

You unboreds probably wake up in the morning and 'seize the day', as my job allows it I wake up as late as possible (1pm is the latest I can wake up without being late), I finish at 10pm and then I have all the delicious night time when it's dark and cold to do my 'seizing of the day'. Most people I talk to, even people who work my job and hours, cannot understand how I can live virtually nocturnally, (boring conversations as well), I like it because I hate mornings.