Home Situations and Effect on Mood

[zotapine]

Hi folks,

I have a question--not an advice question, just would like your opinion on something that I've noticed recently. For the past six months I've lived in a co-op house at my college (basically a dorm, but the food comes with the rent and you do chores) for about 50 people.

I would call most of the residents mediocre, both in terms of academic success and all-around life achievements. I don't mean that they struggle with becoming who they want to be, which is a normal problem for any 20 year old. I mean that they are generally lazy, unimaginative, underachieving and unaware of this. Of course there are exceptions--but the overall 'vibe' of the house is of laziness and underachievement--nobody, after all, wants to be seen as a 'showoff,' right?

Since I started living there I've found it very difficult to build self-discipline and follow through on commitments to myself. There's a great well of internal resistance there, whose source I can't quite place. Of the 30-day trials I've tried since then (about 6), only 2 have been carried out fully. My room must be cleaned every 3 days, at least, or it disintegrates into a disorganized mess. I don't have a regular schedule and I find myself in a perpetually sour mood--partly due to living on the first floor (noise at all hours, drunk people) and having to interact with *some*one every time I open the door--even if it's just to go to the bathroom. I need some alone time!

Because of this I'm moving to an apartment, which is both cheaper and quieter. What I expect to happen (though it may or may not) is for some of this internal resistance to go away when I leave the mediocre people behind, and enter a more secluded/personal atmosphere. Of the 50 or so residents, 2 or 3 are people I would choose to see on any kind of social basis.

Has anyone experienced something like this? Am I just making excuses for this behavior?

[SonoranBob]

You're clearly an introvert, and probably something of a loner. That's me, too. I am not surprised that you're experiencing this. Extroverts tend to draw energy from others (I mean that in a good way) and introverts tend to be drained by others. We introverts need time alone regularly to recharge.

My guess is that even if you are part of the problem you won't be able to sort it out in the kind of environment you describe. But I am pretty sure you're going to find your focus improving, and with it, your motivation and your spirits overall.

--Bob

[sheffy4]

I think you did the right thing by moving to an apartment. I expect it will be a lot easier for you to reach your goals without all the distraction and un-inspirational people around.

I don't think you are making excuses for your behavior. You realized what was holding you back, and you have made plans to change it.