Are you equally comfortable with all social groups?

[Marco Polo]

I'm not particularly good with people just a few years younger than me (I'm 19 for the record). I have this strange need to make them respect me. I love to to socialize with people 20-30 years my senior. I generally find people of my own age to be immature, although I don't have any major problems with this age group either.

Generally speaking I socialize better with males than females, as these relationships tend to be much more simple (I can hardly ever guess what a girl is thinking about me). I'm not shy around girls or anything, but I find it harder to know where I stand with them.

As for different ethnic groups, I don't have any big concerns. I've lived in three different countries the past 8 years (mostly in Africa), so I guess that has a lot to do with it. My experiences with other cultures has partly opened me up, but it has also made my worldview less rosy. I definitely prefer some groups to others, but I'll avoid getting into that here.

What about you guys? Do your social skills vary depending on who you're dealing with, or are you just super-confident no matter what?

[Jennihul]

I don't. If people are generally friendly and respectful, I can get along with anyone.


Jennifer

[jaamkie]

My social skills are crap most of the time, sometimes I just luck into people understanding of the good intentions behind them... more men than women it seems, though partially that is a matter of opportunity- I work with mostly men- I think men are more straightforward and are more likely to pursue relationships with me despite my prickliness, while women seem to expect something of me that I never quite know how to give. Other than that don't know, tend to get along better with non-US-citizens, probably because I get all curious about their different life experiences so I'm a better listener.

[Power]

It's easy to get along with anyone and any age and any culture, if you know how

Here is a very simple and most powerful lesson you will ever learn in socializing, human behaviour, getting along with people and making friends with any group.

1. Be sensitive of the other persons interest and what they love. Once you are aware of their interest, simply direct the conversation towards their interest and what they are passionate about.

Even if you don't have a single clue about the subject that they are interested in, the moment you ask them a question about it, they will happily explain it to you for hours.
The moment they talk about their interest and about their passion, you will clearly see this enthusiastic glow upon them. At this stage they actually feel good and subjectively feel more drawn into you, someone who they feel connected with even if they don't know you.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Power

It's easy to get along with anyone and any age and any culture, if you know how

Here is a very simple and most powerful lesson you will ever learn in socializing, human behaviour, getting along with people and making friends with any group.

1. Be sensitive of the other persons interest and what they love. Once you are aware of their interest, simply direct the conversation towards their interest and what they are passionate about.

Even if you don't have a single clue about the subject that they are interested in, the moment you ask them a question about it, they will happily explain it to you for hours.
The moment they talk about their interest and about their passion, you will clearly see this enthusiastic glow upon them. At this stage they actually feel good and subjectively feel more drawn into you, someone who they feel connected with even if they don't know you.

This is VERY true! I learned that in a book i have called How To Talk To Anyone by Leil Lowndes (not sure if thats spelled right)...but this only works if you are comfortable talking to this person to begin with. Which brings me to what i was going to add...i feel uncomfortable with most people,because i'm shy to begin with,and most people act wierd around you once they realize that. I feel intimidated by most people. Doesnt matter the age or gender or race. I too feel the need for younger people to respect me,maybe thats why i go for younger guys,and why i am always trying to find younger friends. I think that,to me,is because when i was in grade school and high school i didnt have many friends,so i kinda feel like i have to recreate that. It sucks for your social life when most of your friends are 50 year old married women :-l I also have more in common with younger people and not much with older people,so that makes a difference too,what social groups you fit in with...you have to have things in common.

[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by Marco Polo

I have this strange need to make them respect me.

Exercising this need isn't very respectful to them. You don't make people respect you, you earn it by being respectable. It also has to go both ways - you can't feel disdain for the people you want respect from.

What about you guys? Do your social skills vary depending on who you're dealing with, or are you just super-confident no matter what?

I don't get along with everyone equally well - nor do I strive for that. I have no problem connecting to the people I want to connect to, which is good enough for me.

[LifeFirst]

Originally Posted by Power

It's easy to get along with anyone and any age and any culture, if you know how

Here is a very simple and most powerful lesson you will ever learn in socializing, human behaviour, getting along with people and making friends with any group.

1. Be sensitive of the other persons interest and what they love. Once you are aware of their interest, simply direct the conversation towards their interest and what they are passionate about.

Even if you don't have a single clue about the subject that they are interested in, the moment you ask them a question about it, they will happily explain it to you for hours.
The moment they talk about their interest and about their passion, you will clearly see this enthusiastic glow upon them. At this stage they actually feel good and subjectively feel more drawn into you, someone who they feel connected with even if they don't know you.

I have a roommate that I'm living with now. We used to get along fine, but now I can't stand looking at him in the face.

I don't know really happened. But before we talk easily, I would ask him about things that he was passionate about. He is a really smart person, and he would always inform about certain things. And I always thought he was a really cool guy. I even brought food to him a few times because I know that he doesn't have that much money to buy that much food.


But then I found out from another friend that this guy has been talking sh*t about me behind my back (saying how stupid/useless I am). I can't say that I was truly shocked or anything. But I always felt something weird about him I can't put my finger on. I always felt this air of arrogance about him, never completely friendly, but just friendly enough because we were living under the same roof.

But now we barely talk or look at each other. In fact, I can't believe I'm living under the same roof with this person.

The mere thought of thinking about him makes me want to throw up.

I don't know what I should do about this situation. Because this is some shameful sh*t right here.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by LifeFirst

I have a roommate that I'm living with now. We used to get along fine, but now I can't stand looking at him in the face.

I don't know really happened. But before we talk easily, I would ask him about things that he was passionate about. He is a really smart person, and he would always inform about certain things. And I always thought he was a really cool guy. I even brought food to him a few times because I know that he doesn't have that much money to buy that much food.


But then I found out from another friend that this guy has been talking sh*t about me behind my back (saying how stupid/useless I am). I can't say that I was truly shocked or anything. But I always felt something weird about him I can't put my finger on. I always felt this air of arrogance about him, never completely friendly, but just friendly enough because we were living under the same roof.

But now we barely talk or look at each other. In fact, I can't believe I'm living under the same roof with this person.

The mere thought of thinking about him makes me want to throw up.

I don't know what I should do about this situation. Because this is some shameful sh*t right here.

Wow,i was in this same situation with my old roommate. We were best friends for about 12 years when we bought a house together. I even thought i was in love with him,i thought we were going to be together someday (thats a whole nother story though)...long story short,after living with him for 3 years,now i dont think we will ever see each other again. It changes your perception of people when you live with them,and if youre not married,(and even sometimes then!) it changes it for the worse. I'm sorry about what you are going through,i totally know what it was like. There were days i would quick run to bed and pretend i was sleeping when he would pull into the driveway. We went for DAYS without talking or even seeing each other. Is there any way you can get out of there ASAP?

[LifeFirst]

Thing is

I don't know why he was talking about me or anything like that. I never brought him any trouble. I always kept quiet, kept to myself, cleaned the place whenever I can. I took out the garbage. Everything was smooth at first. We were getting along really well, we would go out together.


We were never friends or anything before we moved in, but after we moved in we got along well.

Then I don't know WHAT happened. When I heard that he was talking about me behind my back, everything changed that instant. I feel like he hates for some reason, or looks down on me. From that point on, we never did anything together anymore.

I gotten along with all my other roommates, never any problems. But this one is the devil his own self at times.

[Alexi]

I'd say that I am able to become friendly with just about anyone. I go out of my way to have a varied bunch of friends, so that I can maximize my experiences. I'm friends with all types of people, from extremely attractive sorority girls to homeless men. I try my best not to judge people before really getting to know them. I've found that some of the most quality people I've met are the most unorthodox seeming at first. Everyone has something to offer.

[Jennihul]

Originally Posted by LifeFirst

Thing is

I don't know why he was talking about me or anything like that. I never brought him any trouble. I always kept quiet, kept to myself, cleaned the place whenever I can. I took out the garbage. Everything was smooth at first. We were getting along really well, we would go out together.


We were never friends or anything before we moved in, but after we moved in we got along well.

Then I don't know WHAT happened. When I heard that he was talking about me behind my back, everything changed that instant. I feel like he hates for some reason, or looks down on me. From that point on, we never did anything together anymore.

I gotten along with all my other roommates, never any problems. But this one is the devil his own self at times.

The problem isn't your room mate or the fact (fiction?) that he's talking shiit behind your back. Which he may or may not have actually done.

The problem is your fear of confronting him about it and setting the record straight. You are creating your own hell, basically. Until you run and hide (ie: move or kick him out) or face the issue head on, you will continue to fester and fill your home with ill-will.

Since one's home is an outward reflection of one's inner self and peace, you are basically accepting this unpleasantness as your existance. Every other aspect of your life will suffer as a result.

Jennifer

[LifeFirst]

Oh trust me...I'm going to deal with it...most DEFINITELY.

[Peter Tosh]

i'm more comfortable with people who are either a few years younger then me, my age or just a few years older then me....i'm 20 by the way, but when it comes to people who are like 30+ their intrestes and views on things are for the most part differtn from mine..maybe becuae we grew up at different times. i'm not sure but mostly around people who are around my age...18-25ish..
when it comes to females...hmmm i don't know. basiclyl the same way you stand with them...i'm better friends with males since i can understand them better becuase i'm a male myself and its hard to decipher what a female thinks of me....

[Power]

Originally Posted by Peter Tosh

...its hard to decipher what a female thinks of me....

That's easy...

Don't.

Just sit there and be genuinely listening and be interested even if they are talking about make-ups and other girly things.

Trust me... the benefits are priceless