Some Advice Please!

[JimmyJam87]

Hey everyone,

This isnt going to be easy for me to explain but I need some advice on where I am going wrong.

Ive been on loads of first dates with girls but never get a second one. I dont do anything stupid or talk about stupid things. I also dont come across like a sex pest or pervert.

The dates themselves go well or at least thats what I think. We have lots of laughs and never any awkward silences a bit of flirting now and again.

I always send the girl a text askin them to send me one when theyve got in safe. I say that ive had a great time and cant wait to see them again. I DO NOT DECLARE MY LOVE FOR THEM lol! and then bam no longer interested in me in nearly the same way they was before.

This has happened far too many times for it to be placed as bad luck or coincidence. There must be something im either doing or need to do that is the reason for this continued failure.

I personally dont want to have to go through this again n again but it happens all the time.

Any candid advice and straight talking would be greatfully appreciated be blunt and cruel if necessary i need to sort this before i give up completely lol!

[silicon toad2000]

there are no tricks or secrets, if you are not exactly who you are, they will see the real you sooner or later and if they don't like it and leave you then it will hurt much more.

I've been out of the dating scene for ages, but if you're landing the dates in the first place you must be doing something right.

Maybe a few more casual approaches to dates before sending a text saying you cant wait to see them again.

[JimOfferman]

Jimmy, just stop worrying about it and be who you are, do what you want to do and trust that sooner or later you'll find a girl who will swoon over the kind of man you are.

I've been on too many dates where other people had me convinced I had to do things a certain way to get the girl - please save yourself the trouble of going through that! it's not worth it.

Just believe in yourself!

[Joely]

Oh! You're from Manchester. I live there too.

It's difficult to tell from what you've said where things are going awry. Most guys I know don't send immediate texts to say they want to see a date again.

The guys above are right, above all. Chill out. Could it be that you're thinking deep down "Will this one work out?" because if that's the case, you're giving the wrong kind of vibe. We all send out very subtle messages and the important thing is to be relaxed and in the moment, and not worrying about whether you'll get to see her again. Then she's more likely to want to see you. (Unless you're just not her type, but there's really nothing you can do about that.)

Relax, let go and enjoy the experience and don't fret over where you might be going wrong.

J

[teatree]

Don't send the text messages too soon. If you are worried about the girl's safety, drop her home, or share a cab where the cab drops her off first.

Sending a text the first night makes some women think "too needy" - I know it's unfair, but that's how it is. Wait a couple for days, and then phone to ask for another date. Don't text to ask for a date - it's too impersonal. Relationships are person-to-person things - the more that happens face to face or over the phone where they can hear your voice and gauge your mood, the better. Texting is usually for light casual stuff, you can use it later in the relationship just to say things like "thinking of you" or "caught in traffic and will be ten minutes late" or whatever.

Other than that, I agree with others who say just be yourself on the dates. It's too much hard work not being yourself, and relationships that require that amount of work are just not worth it.

[Fullcrum]

Do you have sex with them on the first date?

Do you self amuse yourself when out with them? Do you involve them in your fun?

[Liveformx64]

Jimmy,

You will always get advice about "Just be yourself" Well that isn't much help until you truly know who you are and what you stand for, which at age 24 I am just now figuring that out.

I suggest you set out on a journey of self discovery, namely in the relationship territory. Dating Tips - Secrets To Attracting and Meeting Women The site seems cliche and cheesy at first but the man behind it, Eben pagan under the pen name David Deangelo is a very honest hard working man that is truly looking at the rules and laws of attraction intelligently. and with ethics and utmost respect towards women.

Of all the self help tools on the net Eben truly pointed me down the road of self discovery and self improvement.

As per your post, the parameters you mentioned regarding your interaction with women are merely the surface of a much bigger picture of how a woman thinks, and why she thinks the way she does. Which may seem like an unpredictable mess at first, but will all begin to make sense once you begin to take heed on some of David's Concepts.