Five Rules for Men to Follow to a Happy Life

[BamBam]

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

[JimOfferman]

Ugh... so 5 is where I screwed up!

Thanks! Good one!

[Freelancer]

Its odd, somehow I added to the first three category's almost automatically 'to have sex with'. I'm male, screw me.

So my 5 rules would be:
1. It's important to have a woman to have sex with who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman to have sex with who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman to have sex with who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman to have sex with who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women know and accept each other, preferably to the point of orgies.

[danijelg]

Excellent! Thanks for that

[Trezker]

I'm gonna go with the women that know each other. But the first one is a funny reflection of the old media (papparazzi reporting, TV, hollywood).

[Marco Polo]

Originally Posted by Freelancer

5. It's very, very important that these four women know and accept each other, preferably to the point of orgies.

The only way that's happening is if you convert to Islam and keep them locked up in a Harem. Unless you've got some serious game, of course (these liberal feminist types may be more willing than I imagine).

[jamestl2]

Thanks for the Great Joke (or is it a joke ), really funny

Curious that you posted it here and not in F&R though.

[JoeGoldfarb]

Originally Posted by Marco Polo

The only way that's happening is if you convert to Islam and keep them locked up in a Harem. Unless you've got some serious game, of course (these liberal feminist types may be more willing than I imagine).

over here in vegas desert we have mormon fundamentalists who not only marry multiple wives, but a few marry their daughters too as soon as they start growing pubes.

i believe it's only the islamic fundamentalists who practice pluralism.

these people grow up in isolated communities with no newspapers, magazines, television or computers, and therefore know no other way of life.

it is a messy legal issue due to freedom of speech and religion, and the fear of creating martyrs during arrests.

[Jonathan Mead]

How can someone marry their daughter. That's not legal..

even in Vegas.

[JoeGoldfarb]

Originally Posted by Jonathan Mead

How can someone marry their daughter. That's not legal..

even in Vegas.

*edit*
what?? everyone obeys the law? no one in the US smokes pot? no one under 21 drinks? no one murders a human?
yes, people do those things and even marry their daughters under the word of God out here in the West. the west is a big, empty land. people drive without plates, people carry guns without permits, and people practice incest (under the word of God) and no one knows often about it.
*end of edit*

..nor is polygamy, but the largest concentration of these fundamentalist mormon religious beliefs are located in a city of 9000 out in the desert near vegas in which only a handful are not polygamists. the city is called colorado city. about half of the residents are descended from two men. there is a tremendous about of inbreeding in that city due to intermarrying, although, due to the size of the population, most daughters are married not to their own fathers, but to their uncles instead. however, father/daughter brother/daughter incestuous behavior is not uncommon outside of marriage, but of course rarely mentioned because the girl/woman will go to Hell for doing so.

there are several other communities that are much smaller in nevada, utah, oregon, texas, arizona, idaho, canada, mexico and possibly califorina that practice the same.

men marry multiple wives not legally, but "spiritually." they called it Spiritual Wifery. and btw, group sex is forbidden in nearly all branches of this faith. each wife has their own bedroom.

*edit*
the police and mayor in colorado city participate in this faith and themselves have multiple spiritual wives. this is how the city can operates outside of federal law.

[JoeGoldfarb]

i understand that this thread is supposed to be a joke, but it's not a joke. it is insulting and demeaning to a woman's liberty and equality.

Furthermore, men in certain communities and faiths COMMAND that woman preform and follow those five points or face eternity in Hell.

*edit*
woman forced to follow those five points are in a living hell and any man who found those points funny or amusing should be ashamed of themselves.

i am very animate because i myself found the "joke" funny, the sex response more so until i learned why i found it funny. then i became very ashamed of myself, which is why i carry this tone presently.

[BamBam]

Originally Posted by JoeGoldfarb

i understand that this thread is supposed to be a joke, but it's not a joke. it is insulting and demeaning to a woman's liberty and equality.

any man who found those points funny or amusing should be ashamed of themselves.
.

*sigh*

Theres always someone....

[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by JoeGoldfarb

i understand that this thread is supposed to be a joke, but it's not a joke.

Ah, come on! Lighten up will ya?

It is quite clear that this post, including all replies, is a total joke. It's demeaning and insulting to deride the people who got a good laugh out of it when there is so much evidence in this very forum that those very people have quite respectable views of both men and women.

Plus have you read what some of those supposedly insulted women write about themselves?

Enjoy a good laugh whenever you can, it's good for you!

[Chado2423]

Advice on how to have a happy life when these women hate you?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Chado2423

Advice on how to have a happy life when these women hate you?

CHOOSE IT ANYWAY!

[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by Chado2423

Advice on how to have a happy life when these women hate you?

Realize that you don't really need those women and just be happy without them.

Plus there is no way they can all hate you, Chado. Not even if you really tried, could you possibly make all women hate you when even Hitler, arguably one of the worst guys in history, was loved by some. You are magnitudes upon magnitudes more lovable than he was.

You're a good person at heart. The sooner you accept that for yourself, the better your life will be.

Peace!

[BamBam]

"I'm lonely," Adam told God in the Garden of Eden. "I need to have someone around for company."
"Okay," replied God. "I'll give you the perfect companion. She is beatiful, intelligent, and gracious - she'll cook and clean for you too."
"Sounds great," Adam said. "But what's it going to cost me?"
"An arm and a leg," answered God.
"That's pretty steep," replied Adam. "What can I get for a rib?"

[keneth]

wow, lol

this is the first humor thread that i read.
i thought all of the people here are very serious. and this prove me that im right. hehehe

some member still treat this thread very seriously.
peace bro.

[kpugh]

I gotta echo JoeGoldfarb on this one. I clicked on the thread hoping to find some insightful discussion about a happy life for men. Although I chuckled once I realized (assumed?) it was meant as a joke, I couldn't help but also be offended. Yes, I guess it is possible to be offended AND still chuckle.

I totally understand that the intent was not to offend, and just to spread humor...which I'm in complete support of. AND, I also hear Joe's point.

Just goes to show that although our intent may feel "right"...it doesn't mean someone can't be impacted in an unintended way. I live in a community where men's violence against women is a real thing, and jokes that are demeaning to women only serve to support this kind of culture. As a man, I think it's my responsibility to break that cycle somehow...even if it's just with myself. I think my son deserves that kind of example from me.