Abusive Woman

[kookaburra]

I have a girl friend that puts me down in the way that she swears at me in front of her daughter and friends she seems to have a way that if there is a problem she switches it all on to me,she also puts my family and friends down and i noticed that she puts negatives on her friends behind there backs.
This type of behaviour is extremly hurtfull but i always find a way to love how can this be?These few issues are just an ice breaker.

[SonoranBob]

How can it be? Well ... it's your life, and you let it be.

But maybe what you're asking is why do you let it be.

Could be a lot of things, but I'll hazard a guess that you know deep down that to confront this would result in a withering blast of contempt and to persist in confronting it will end the relationship, and you live in terror of being disliked and/or alone.

Your GF knows this and it gives her power over you. As a bonus, there's no need for her to improve her mean-spirited character; she can be openly petty and hurtful now that she's found someone with such low standards. And if she’s willing to model this behavior in front of her own child, I don’t think she is ever going to modify it for your benefit.

I’d recommend getting out of this relationship and learning who you are and what you want. Learn to love yourself, and learn to be completely happy and content outside of a relationship. THEN you could have hope of hooking up with someone of better character and stability, with fewer issues, because you wouldn’t be coming from a place of desperation – you could afford to be choosy, and you’d have something powerful to offer in a relationship.

--Bob

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by kookaburra

I have a girl friend that puts me down in the way that she swears at me in front of her daughter and friends she seems to have a way that if there is a problem she switches it all on to me,she also puts my family and friends down

Why are you allowing her to do this to you?

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I can understand how you can still love someone who treats you badly. But you (no one) deserves to live like this. Have you told her how her actions make you feel? Have you asked her to stop?

If she won't make the effort to stop being abusive to you, I would get out of the relationship. It could get even worse and as time goes by you will end up putting up with much more.

Sorry this is happening, but you have a choice whether to continue or not.

[kookaburra]

Thankyou to anyone that has posted a reply i guess deep down that i know the realility that she will not change for me even though i have tried all angles to confront her on our issues relationships and personal demons,i only get beaten down to have it all twisted and turned 180 degrees i thought helping her would change her hoping she would see a light and tried to provide a stable environment but that never happened! the only short struggle would be letting her go.
She is a very pretty woman and it seems that she relies on that to get her through life i have to think about myself from now on and not everyone else thanks guys and gals for confirming what i already new deep down you are not the only ones saying it as well.