nervousness with opposite gender

[brendannz]

Hey,

I seem pretty nervous when I meet females generally. It's quite embarassing. Anyone got any hints with this one? I think once I get talking I've got a lot to say for myself, but have some anxiety upon meeting girls.. I need to get good at initialising dates and stuff as well, to make my life more colourful, and more well rounded, or so.

I think I don't get nervous when I talk to guys because I don't really care how they evaluate me as much. Also I can easily talk about sports etc.

It's embarassing I have this social anxiety, but any ideas how I can deal with it? and improve myself?

Thanks

[Jamie]

Join the club buddy!

Have you checked out the other threads on this topic (in this forum)?

All the best,
J

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

We're not that scary, really. A lot of times we are nervous too upon meeting a new guy, particularly if we are interested in him. Your best bet in my opinion is to "feel the fear and do it anyway." Strike up conversations with girls. If you do that often you will gradually get more comfortable with it.

Girls are people too. Talk to them like you would anyone.

[Jamie]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

We're not that scary, really. A lot of times we are nervous too upon meeting a new guy, particularly if we are interested in him. Your best bet in my opinion is to "feel the fear and do it anyway." Strike up conversations with girls. If you do that often you will gradually get more comfortable with it.

Girls are people too. Talk to them like you would anyone.

Believe me, I have jumped out of airplanes (with a parachute), I have a primal fear of heights, cold blood was running through my viens, complete and utter terror as we climbed to 4,000 feet for the jump (and I was sat next to the 'door' - ha - some door).

Believe me, that doesn't begin to compare to the fear I have of approaching a beautiful woman.

Funny thing is. I would actually really love to have women friends, loads of them, nothing sexual, just friends, for mutual benefit of course. Not the, I fancy her, but can't have her, so I'll just be her friend in hope of something developing, all the while she abuses my attraction for her, by getting me to do jobs around the house or whatever.

I'd really like a sexy girlfriend too, not just a piece of meat, but someone real who I can relate to and have mutual understand, you know what I mean.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by Jamie

Believe me, I have jumped out of airplanes (with a parachute), I have a primal fear of heights, cold blood was running through my viens, complete and utter terror as we climbed to 4,000 feet for the jump (and I was sat next to the 'door' - ha - some door).

Believe me, that doesn't begin to compare to the fear I have of approaching a beautiful woman.

Funny thing is. I would actually really love to have women friends, loads of them, nothing sexual, just friends, for mutual benefit of course. Not the, I fancy her, but can't have her, so I'll just be her friend in hope of something developing, all the while she abuses my attraction for her, by getting me to do jobs around the house or whatever.

I'd really like a sexy girlfriend too, not just a piece of meat, but someone real who I can relate to and have mutual understand, you know what I mean.

I understand, I just think the fear is irrational. Maybe you would like to read this post by Steve: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...tive-thinking/ (scroll down to the section on fearlessness).

I think the things you desire are great. And you can have them. No one is going to die if you approach a girl and she rejects you. Really look at what the worst thing is that could happen...is it proportional to the fear you let it paralyze you with? However you could die in a moment from sky-diving. And yet you do it anyway...what is the payoff in that for you? And what is the best possible outcome of talking to a beautiful woman? Is that also worth facing your fear?

edit.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Jamie

I'd really like a sexy girlfriend too, not just a piece of meat, but someone real who I can relate to and have mutual understand, you know what I mean.

You're kind of like me, except I'm the complete opposite. I want a piece of meat, who I cannot relate to or understand whatsoever. haha, (just kidding of course)

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by {aspiring_to_clarity}

We're not that scary, really. A lot of times we are nervous too upon meeting a new guy, particularly if we are interested in him. Your best bet in my opinion is to "feel the fear and do it anyway." Strike up conversations with girls. If you do that often you will gradually get more comfortable with it.

Girls are people too. Talk to them like you would anyone.

Thanks!

I think my problem is, overanalysing little pointless things

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Originally Posted by brendannz

Thanks!

I think my problem is, overanalysing little pointless things

Try out the article I posted .