Loneliness, Depression, suicidal thoguhts with people around you.

[ztephen]

I have been feeling extremely lonely. I've created value for other people, but I feel like I'm unappreciated.

Theres this girl I like. I convinced her to take a class at the local community college so she could get ahead in high school. I pick her up everyday from high school and take her to the community college. I make sure she's had a good meal right after school. I'm doing the best I can to be a good friend. I do my best to be a mentor and leader to her. I like to think I'm a decent sax player so I teach her what I can on the sax. I give myself to her the best I know how. I tried to physically express myself to her by trying to hold her hand, but I was rejected. I'm having thoughts that our relationship is there only because I have a car. Our conversations are usually shallow, if I bring anything that is a little hard to think about she avoids answering.

I have a friend that is just amazing. She just brings joy to my life. She makes me feel better when I'm down. She challenges my beliefs. She keeps me on my toes. Theres other things that I have a hard time expressing. Without her I don't know where I'd be. I would love to be her boyfriend, but she's already taken. I don't know what I'm missing that her boyfriend has.

I feel that I like girl #1 because I feel like she's the only one available for me. And I got rejected. I really like my friend thats taken and I've been looking for my deficiencies and why I am not her boyfriend, I've found that I don't have a six pack and extremely defined muscles.

thank you for caring enough to read my post.

[bravebluemice]

First off to say, I think that most men in our position have been there. I feel your pain, Brother.

I have to congratulate you for being a mentor. I know that when I mentor people, I get a great sense of satisfaction knowing they're going to succeed. There is no greater selfless act than passing on such knowledge, experience, and helping a fellow human being.

As far as the relationships go, however, the seas are rarely calm. If you really feel something toward Girl #1, pursue it with your whole heart. If you find that there isn't anything there for you, then leave the relationship as is, keeping the satisfaction you feel from the mentoring, and feed it into another. There are more than two women in the world, and they aren't hard to find.

Don't feel compelled to compare yourself to another's mate. Just because you have brains and he has braun doesn't make you the lesser. It means that you were meant to attract different kinds of mates.

Take a little time for yourself, and try to attract a mate. Stop worrying so much about the women that are already around you that don't quite fit the bill, go forth and seek, further up you will find glory! Remember, press on regardless!

Good Luck, My Friend,
~Brave Blue Mice.

[gaulov]

Hi...i agree that many people have felt the same...even i am in the same phase and am coming out of it...just wanted to say...come out of all this...and you will feel really good....just set yourself free from all this nonsense...just dont think abt her....go for a vacation...take a break....may be you will find someone

[starkey]

As a woman, I would say that many women (though certainly not all) are not attracted to men who are lonely and depresseed. I would spend some time on how to be happy by yourself without one of these women, and you will find more women are attracted to you in general.

[Spirittap]

Hmm, you say you're trying to be a good friend, but it seems like you intended all along to want her to be your gf. Were you actually doing all those things for her out of friendship or because you expected her to be your gf?

Both girls just want to be friends. Nothin wrong with friendship. You don't have to jump through hoops all the time to get people to like you. Concerning girl #2, it doesn't mean you're missing something, it's probably because she's taken. I hope you aren't expecting her to drop him for you.

[ztephen]

I'm not hoping for girl #2 to drop her bf for me.

When I started talking to (#1) I never even imagined how I'd feel about her. I thought she was a person I could share my life with as just a friend. I truly felt that way. I don't know why exactly what happened, but I just started feeling the way I do.

I just told (#1) exactly how I felt. She avoided answering but I pressured her to tell me how she felt. The drive home was awkwardly silent and I walked her to the door telling her not to act weird. I told her I would call her later and she acted evasive and angry. Now I'm afraid I ruined our relationship.

Generally I've been pretty happy there was just a shift in my mindset that I cannot explain, that happened a few weeks ago.


I don't know how to express my (idk if this is the right word but) "romantic" feelings to girls. That's what I'm really worried about.


again thank you for caring to read.

[sheffy4]

I know it's hard to meet people when you are in school since it seems like you only have this small pool of people to choose from, but there might be girls out there right under your nose, but since you are so focused on these 2 girls, you don't notice the ones that are a better match for you.
It sounds like you enjoy connecting with people on intelligent levels, so think about where you could meet girls who enjoy the same things as you. Are there clubs at your school, or in the community where you could meet these new people?
Start going beyond your comfort zone by daring yourself to talk to people you don't know every day. At least one new person per day, and who knows? You might meet a new friend, and a potential girl friend.
But I must reiterate what some other posters said: Learn to love yourself. You will feel better, and its completely true that girls are more attracted to guys with high self-esteem. You might get some attention by appearing depressed around people, but it won't be the attention you want.