How do I tell my parents...

[nolan22]

...that I want to go to a different school next year?

I'm in a new high school and I haven't been liking it at all. Last year was the best year I've ever had in my lifetime. I miss all my friends terribly. They were the only thing I had besides my family. I feel like I've lost them because I'm too shy to invite them over (most of them are girls).

The problem is that I didn't know what I had until the realization came (last year) that I didn't want to leave my friends. Now it's about 7 months later and registration for the 2008-2009 school year is coming up. My parents have to pay a $300 deductable to save a spot for me next year. (It is due Feb. 11th; knowing my dad, he will pay earlier)

I have told them before that I want to go back to my old high school but they say that going to a private school looks good on College applications. I already get very good grades and I could get a recommendation from any one of my previous teachers. I don't think that going to a public school is going to ruin my chances of getting into a good college, and staying 2 more years being miserable is not worth it. They also say that I'm too young to be making these decisions (I'm 16) but I feel excluded and not welcomed at my school because of me being a non-catholic and my beliefs.

I don't want to make this seem like some long teenage drama story, or portraying me as begging people on the internet for help, but I don't know how to describe it any other way. I would do anything to go back.

[Fullcrum]

I am young (16) and do not have experience with this. Often I'm figuring out how to talk about that stuff myself! However, just curious, I'll ask this:

Do you want to go back to your old school out of fear? Fear that you lack the skills to make new friends? Fear of talking to people, being loud confident and assertive? Especially in a new environment?

Or do you want to go back out of love and abundance? Do you have an abundance of options in your life and simply want to "spread the love" and bring back some grand old memories?

What is your motive? You know; deep down you KNOW whether you do it out of abundance or fear.

I'll give an opinion on your situation after but first I want you to get clear on your motivations.

[A2K89]

I would say just be completely honest with them.. Perhaps type up everything you want to say and explain it the best you can, and send it via email. You are old enough to know whats best for you emotionally, and old enough to have a say in what direction you want to go.

If they deny your request, then I would just adopt a new mentality about going to this new school. Think of it as an adventure, an opportunity to learn new things from new people. Thats sad that they won't accept you because your not catholic, but is that really the case? If so perhaps you could argue to them that you won't be able to excel in your work at this new school, do to decreased morale... And I agree with Fullcrum, it is important to pin point your key motivation.

[Ree]

Nolan, I can speak to this situation from a parent's prospective.
Our youngest son went to public school through middle school and then began private school his freshman year of high school. We didn't really FORCE him to go to private school, but we thought it was the best thing.

He was always a cheerful, smiling young man and so it was very hard to see him come home from school with a sad face day after day. He always had lots of friends and suddenly he had none. During Christmas break of that year, we offered to let him transfer to the school his friends were attending, but he chose to stay. He joined the basketball team and found a ready-made group of friends.

As it turned out, he had a fantastic four years, playing on 1 championship football team and 2 championship basketball teams. He was accepted into the top 3 colleges of his choice and recently graduated. He STILL to this day has a close circle of friends from his high school years.

I suggest that you try joining in groups, activities and teams at your school. This will allow you to meet folks with whom you have common interests. Your parents are trying to maximize your opportunities. Remember that sometimes success doesn't come easily. And Good Luck to you!

[Love]

I'll say this about public schools... they don't decrease your chance at the top colleges. Colleges take into consideration what your school has to offer... so if you always take the most challenging curriculum at your school, you'll be fine, no matter where you go.

[Calisto]

nolan22,

I don't have much to say, I hope it all works out for you. In my experience it is never a good thing to back peddle. In one sense that is what you would be doing, going backwards. People change. Your friends may have changed and moved on and you might not fit in back at your old school. Sorry, I just wanted you to be aware of that possibility.

[The Cloud]

It sounds to me like you have two positive choices, assuming that the people at your new school simply aren't your type of people but aren't repulsive; you can try hard to get back to your old school with your old friends, or you can try hard to invite your old friends to do something with you. Don't worry that they are girls, whether you're interested in them romantically or not, just invite one or a few or all of them to do something like go to a movie or whatever else you can think of. You don't need to do something exciting and original, the simple fact that you are all friends will be what makes the gathering worthwhile. However, if you're unhappy just because you haven't opened yourself up to the option of having friends at the new school, then you should work on that before deciding to do something drastic. Regardless of what you do, you should do something to spend some time with your old friends, since that is highly likely to boost your morale. Also, if you do hate your new school and aren't simply neutral toward it, you should do your very best to get away from it, don't waste your time with something that makes you miserable just for college, no amount of knowledge and college accredation is worth being unhappy.