passive - aggressive behavior / indirect bullying

[The Cloud]

What makes you think you have to listen to your internal reactions, if you don't want to? Your reaction isn't genuine or real. You think that it's a real means to dealing with the situation, which is why you have allowed it to stick around for so long, but it isn't. You have that reaction because you think that you have something worth defending that is being attacked. You don't. Whatever belief about yourself that you're defending has no value.

This is key; everything you are emotionally defending is worth nothing. It's not even real. So you can just not respond to the emotional call to defense that arises when passive-aggressive lady make some noise, because nothing that she's attacking is worth guarding. If her opinion is an attack, let it succeed. Let her win. Let her be right. It costs you nothing to give her nothing, and that is exactly what she is winning if you let her succeed.

If the crazy emotions and thoughts come up, you can just say "no, you aren't real and I don't have to listen to you," or something to that effect. You don't have to stop the emotions from coming up, you just have to fail to respond to them. You're emotions are an act, like in a play; all I'm asking you to do is to stay off the stage. It will seem awkward at first, but the more you do it the more you'll understand how pointless this acting is and how little it actually accomplishes. You don't need painful emotions to be a genuine person and connect with other people. You'll do just fine without them.

[bonkers33]

European38 I feel VickiK's response would be the best one for me IF I had to choose the response that I needed. Just remember that you ARE a good person and who are "they" to make comments to you???? If they are doing this sacasticly then they are actually being rude in a workplace. It is NOT your fault. And you KNOW and they know how it makes you feel. Stay TRUE to yourself no matter what and believe in yourself. You are okay because your sensitivity IS a real gift!!!! And YES you can sense "minut" shifts in energies of personalities if you are highly sensitive. What needs to be done is the person who makes those comments to you as "being their favorite" in a sarcastic tone or tone used to hurt someone emotionally --that person should be confronted. Throw it right back at them--don't hold on to their comment--when that particular comment is made at me--I would immediately look them directly in the eye and ask them "would you please define favorite for me"? Then I make a mental picture of a Bozo clown in huge Bozo shoes trying to dance a waltz in the tiny office space they have. I call this the "dance of the insensitive". And it is merely for me to balance out their insensitivity in my mind. Insensitive people "wallow" in worthless mire when it comes to working with others and when some of their comments slops over onto you---wipe it off and go on. Insensitive people do not know how to "get along" or "how to work with others" politely.

[Eric Roosevelt]

European38,

In my experience, the best remedy to such a situation is confrontation. As in, tell the person exactly what you're thinking. Whatever you decide to do, I'm sure this situation will eventually pass. Let us know how it goes for you.