Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Donkey · 01-10-2008, 12:20 AM

Wierd question but here goes. I've married for the last 18 years (married really young) and focused on my kids the last couple of year so I've been out of the dating scene for a long, long time. How does dating as an adult work? Do you keep asking the same girl out every Saturday night until she says no or am I supposed to only ask her out once a month. How often should I call a girl that has gone out with me in the past and seems to like me?

I would appreciate any input.
Thanks

astra · 01-10-2008, 01:29 AM

Some people might give you a list of stuff, but as far as I'm concerned, there's no hard & fast rules. It's all about what you feel's right. If you like someone, ask them out - saturday night, tuesday lunch, whatever. If you enjoy that, ask her out again... If you don't enjoy it, you can either give it another go or say thanks but no thanks... If you feel like kissing goodnight, do it. If it's the right person for you, they'll be ok with it. Everybody gets so hung up about when to call, how many dates before you sleept together etc, and forget to have fun. Dating should be about having fun!

It's all good as long as you're both single, consenting adults!

samuelpauls · 01-11-2008, 03:49 AM

Hello,

What's more important: Trying to conform to some imaginary person's definition of what's proper or communicating your wishes and requesting those of the other person directly? Life is so short, what if you both want to spend time together and are just wasting time by not stating the obvious?

Back in high school, I had a friend who always gave me a ride home and often offered dinner. lol, once he realized that I was just refusing because I didn't want to impose, he said "Samuel, you're staying for supper and that's final!" instead of asking me if I wanted to stay for dinner in the future. heh He really had me figured out and because of that situation, I realized that sometimes people just really like spending time with another without any concern of making the frequency too high. I was raised to think that there was a natural limit to all social time spent with others, but in reality that limit is different for different people

Best of luck with your new friend,
Samuel

01-10-2008, 12:20 AM	#1 (permalink)
Donkey Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 10	How Do You Date as an Adult Wierd question but here goes. I've married for the last 18 years (married really young) and focused on my kids the last couple of year so I've been out of the dating scene for a long, long time. How does dating as an adult work? Do you keep asking the same girl out every Saturday night until she says no or am I supposed to only ask her out once a month. How often should I call a girl that has gone out with me in the past and seems to like me? I would appreciate any input. Thanks

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01-10-2008, 01:29 AM	#2 (permalink)
astra Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 94	Some people might give you a list of stuff, but as far as I'm concerned, there's no hard & fast rules. It's all about what you feel's right. If you like someone, ask them out - saturday night, tuesday lunch, whatever. If you enjoy that, ask her out again... If you don't enjoy it, you can either give it another go or say thanks but no thanks... If you feel like kissing goodnight, do it. If it's the right person for you, they'll be ok with it. Everybody gets so hung up about when to call, how many dates before you sleept together etc, and forget to have fun. Dating should be about having fun! It's all good as long as you're both single, consenting adults!

01-11-2008, 03:49 AM	#3 (permalink)
samuelpauls Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba Posts: 4	Hello, What's more important: Trying to conform to some imaginary person's definition of what's proper or communicating your wishes and requesting those of the other person directly? Life is so short, what if you both want to spend time together and are just wasting time by not stating the obvious? Back in high school, I had a friend who always gave me a ride home and often offered dinner. lol, once he realized that I was just refusing because I didn't want to impose, he said "Samuel, you're staying for supper and that's final!" instead of asking me if I wanted to stay for dinner in the future. heh He really had me figured out and because of that situation, I realized that sometimes people just really like spending time with another without any concern of making the frequency too high. I was raised to think that there was a natural limit to all social time spent with others, but in reality that limit is different for different people Best of luck with your new friend, Samuel

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums