Wanting to save my marriage.

[HelplessInTampa]

My wife of only seven months told me she loves me but isnt in love with me anymore, and wants a divorce. She moved in with her parents and am being prevented from contacting or visiting her at thier place or at her work since she works for the same small company as her father.
How can I save my marriage? I love her unconditionally. And feel confident that there is a way for us to work it out, can anyone help me?

[chaostheory]

In having gone through the same thing years ago, the biggest and hardest thing i had to learn ( and accept ) was that you cannot be in love enough for two people. Both have to be willing to work on it. Yes it's painful. Yes, it sucks. But the reality is that until the other person is at least ready to try, there's nothing you can do. You can't force her to want it, no matter how much you do. i tore myself apart trying everything i could think of to make him want to try, and all it did was leave me emotionally exhausted. My only consolation is that i have no regrets. i know i did all i could, and that there was nothing else i could have done. You have to let people make thier own choices, even if you don't want to. Even if you could force her to come back ( which you can't ), would you really be happy knowing she was only there because it's what YOU wanted?

[Chado2423]

Originally Posted by chaostheory

In having gone through the same thing years ago, the biggest and hardest thing i had to learn ( and accept ) was that you cannot be in love enough for two people. Both have to be willing to work on it. Yes it's painful. Yes, it sucks. But the reality is that until the other person is at least ready to try, there's nothing you can do. You can't force her to want it, no matter how much you do. i tore myself apart trying everything i could think of to make him want to try, and all it did was leave me emotionally exhausted. My only consolation is that i have no regrets. i know i did all i could, and that there was nothing else i could have done. You have to let people make thier own choices, even if you don't want to. Even if you could force her to come back ( which you can't ), would you really be happy knowing she was only there because it's what YOU wanted?

hmmmm.... you say nothing else you could have done? I realize other people are going to make their own choices... but what you say and do affects their choices right? Perhaps you could have communicated better, or not taken the rejection so hard. I'm just putting things out there, but I doubt that "nothing else I could have done" is the right outlook. You're right other people make their own choices, and so do you... you make the choice in how you're going to handle and deal with the situation. You say you did all you could do? But did you really? Of course you can't force someone to come back, and you shouldn't want to. But you can learn better communication styles and better ways of relating to people.

[Calisto]

You say you love her unconditionally. If you do then you'll let her go. She was obviously unhappy. Who knows what the future might hold. Maybe with time to think things through, she might change her mind and come back. But it should be her decision.

[borisg]

Been there before my friend...Your wife has someone else. You cannot make her love you or want you...you must let her go..take this as a sign that it was not meant to be...she is not for you. This would be much more painful if it had happened later...thank the universe it happened now. Be in peace it is as it should be...

[Ree]

Originally Posted by borisg

Been there before my friend...Your wife has someone else.

Not necessarily. Sometimes women (and men as far as I know) just actually want to be alone. If a woman is unhappy in a relationship, it's understandable that being alone is better than being miserable.

As far what you can do, Helpless, the only person you can control is you. Sounds like the relationship is truly over and you would do well not to invest any more time or energy into it. Put your energy into taking care of yourself and moving on. Good luck!

[Amadeus]

My only advice is to read the book Divorce Busting and go to the online forum Divorce Busting® - Solve Marriage Problems, Save My Marriage, Save Your Marriage, Stop My Divorce, Stop Your Divorce They recommend that you give her space and start living your own life. I know this sounds impossible. This is your only hope. Don't make the mistake of begging and trying to "get her back". She was never "yours" in the first place.

[Guardian Angel]

I am sadden to know that there are marriages that did not work out just like they wanted them to be. However, before giving it up, you may want to include reading these articles.

Avoiding a Potential Break up

How to Say Goodbye Without Saying it

Thanks and hope you overcome your problem.