Does there have to be an end of the honeymoon period?

[PennyD]

Hi all,

Just been thinking, as am currently manifesting a great relationship, is there really an end to the honeymoon period or is this a very limiting belief.

I have heard so many people say that you have to be real and face the fact that after the initial fall in love period with someone reality will kick in and you will have to come to face the real person. What does this mean?

I find this idea confuses me when manifesting a wonderful relationship and it is not very juicy for my visualisations. Recently however I have been coming into contact with and reading about couples who have just fallen in love and their love has just deepend and deepend and deepend. They never mention the end of the honeymoon period. Maybe their love takes on a different texture and quality but by the sounds of it is always growing or moving in a positive direction. In fact it sounds amazing.

Is the end of the honeymoon period a big old have?

thoughts valued
Penny

[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by PennyD

Recently however I have been coming into contact with and reading about couples who have just fallen in love and their love has just deepend and deepend and deepend. They never mention the end of the honeymoon period. Maybe their love takes on a different texture and quality but by the sounds of it is always growing or moving in a positive direction. In fact it sounds amazing.

So haven't you just answered your own question here? Strictly speaking, if only one couple exists that has a neverending honeymoon, the answer to your question is no.

Here's a better question for you: would you ever want to let the honeymoon period end in your relationship? And who do you think can ensure that it never does?

[Angela]

Danger Man and I are about to celebrate three years together and there doesn't appear to be an end of the honeymoon anywhere to be seen. Our relationship does feel like it's getting better and richer and deeper and more rewarding as time goes on.

I realize three years is a drop in the bucket. But we seem to have a very nice trajectory going here.

We never had that crazy-in-love-suffering-butterflies feeling, though. Ours started off gently and at some point we looked up and realized we were in love with each other. It's the best relationship I've ever had, and he says the same thing.

In my past experience and from what I've seen in other couples, the craziness certainly does fade. That may be a good thing!

[PennyD]

Hi Jim, thanks for your post.. great point by the way..

Here's a better question for you: would you ever want to let the honeymoon period end in your relationship? And who do you think can ensure that it never does?

Does this mean I have to take 100% responsibility for the happiness of my future relationship? what about the other person's will and beliefs?

Angela thanks for telling me about your relationship. It does sound wonderful and I think three years is a great amout of time to have consistantly deepening feelings for each other.

What are other peoples experiences?
thanks
Penny

[Angela]

Originally Posted by PennyD

Does this mean I have to take 100% responsibility for the happiness of my future relationship? what about the other person's will and beliefs?

A relationship can't be happy. A person can be happy, though. You could (you don't have to) choose to assume 100% responsibility for your happiness, and for creating a life you love. Grant your partner the freedom to be 100% responsible for his own happiness (and life) and you will be making love with him all the time.

(Really, it's impossible for you to take away his freedom, so "granting" it is for your benefit, not his.)

[PennyD]

Thanks Angela,

Good point about personal responsibility and I do feel I am more than happy to take responsibility for my own happiness and life and to grant every other person that right as well. Maybe I was meaning do I have to be 100% responsible for the ongoing romantic success or passion of the relationship.

It is a interesting point that a relationship can't be happy. I will have to get my head around that one.

[Alison Jenkins]

I've been married 17.5yrs and for me the honeymoon period did end. We've had our ups and downs like any long term marriage but what we have today is a much deeper relationship than I could have ever imagined. It's taken a lot of work and communication has been key to it all. My experience is that it changes and is different. Saying that a few years we went away together for 2 weeks and it was like being on a honeymoon again. When we left the responsibilities of 4 kids and a house behind we were able to go back to the way we used to be in those early days
Alison

[Spiritual]

Originally Posted by Angela

We never had that crazy-in-love-suffering-butterflies feeling, though. Ours started off gently and at some point we looked up and realized we were in love with each other. It's the best relationship I've ever had, and he says the same thing.

You inspired me so much by posting this! I'm very glad to see it doesn't have to be the "klabam"-effect right away, but that it indeed can grow and be very successful!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by PennyD

Maybe I was meaning do I have to be 100% responsible for the ongoing romantic success or passion of the relationship.

If I were you, I'd examine what that means. If you are going to take on responsibility for something, it would probably be a good idea to understand clearly what it is you're responsible for, don't you think?

So: where does the ongoing romantic success or passion live? Inside you, or outside of you? Is it you, or him, or a third synergistic entity? I like the way Byron Katie describes "business" -- there's your business, there's the other person's business, and there's god's business. (For Katie, "god" means "reality"). You are responsible for your business, that is, your feelings, your choices, your life. He is responsible for his. And God (reality) is responsible for the stuff that neither you nor your guy has control over -- like death, tsunamis, third party synergistic energies.

When you start going over there to the other guy's business or god's business, then who's here taking care of your business? Nobody!

[dancer]

Originally Posted by Angela

We never had that crazy-in-love-suffering-butterflies feeling, though. Ours started off gently and at some point we looked up and realized we were in love with each other. It's the best relationship I've ever had, and he says the same thing.

I wonder if this is because you and Dangerman already had a strong connection to love from within. Do we fall in love because we are not already connected to it? I've always fallen and am yet to fully connect to the love within. My current primary goal.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by dancer

I wonder if this is because you and Dangerman already had a strong connection to love from within..

Well, I think we both had a strong commitment to being responsible for generating a life we love, individually, before we met.

When we met and got to know each other, we saw that spending time with each other was a great (but not necessary) way to make our lives better. I am inspired by Danger Man living a life that inspires him. I feel so much joy when I watch him creating joy in his own life. And when I feel how talented he is at generating love, I feel love overflowing inside myself. I feel so grateful to him for the inspiration, joy, and love he has helped me light within myself, just by being who he is. Those things are mine, forever, now.

[dancer]

Originally Posted by Angela

Well, I think we both had a strong commitment to being responsible for generating a life we love, individually, before we met.

When we met and got to know each other, we saw that spending time with each other was a great (but not necessary) way to make our lives better. I am inspired by Danger Man living a life that inspires him. I feel so much joy when I watch him creating joy in his own life. And when I feel how talented he is at generating love, I feel love overflowing inside myself. I feel so grateful to him for the inspiration, joy, and love he has helped me light within myself, just by being who he is. Those things are mine, forever, now.

You are an inspiration, Angela. Thank you.

[PennyD]

Alison thanks so much for sharing your story too. After 17.5 years you would know someone very well and I am glad that you have forged a deeper and deeper love for each other. Very inspirational.

Angela, thanks so much too. I have been thinking about what you have originally posted and what you reiterated in your latest post and am really blown away by the idea that I probably have been trying to take on responsibility that doesn't belong to me. The possibility of stopping doing this feels incredibly freeing but I am also a bit nervious as I have been attached to the idea of having to do something more than just stick to my own business for awhile. Could it really be that easy.. say if I just focus on me and take my eye of all else?

I will be digesting this some more. But can I ask what you mean when you use the term generating love?

I really appreciate you feedback.
Kind regards
Penny