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| Social & Relationships Social skills, friends, dating, sex, seduction, monogamy, polyamory, marriage, alternative relationships, soul mates, parenting, children, family life, education |
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| | #1 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: USA
Posts: 3
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This is my first post on here. I consider myself to be able to deal with people and their problems and do what's best to resolve any situations. At the moment I am having to consider doing what's right or lowering myself to another persons level. I work in an environment that requires teamwork to get the job done in an efficient and timely manner. There are a lot of people where I work and I would say i get on with at least 98%. One percent I don't need to communicate with and I steer clear of them. The other 1% or 1 person is known to be a 'tell tale' and I very often see them fraternizing with the supervisor. This person is female and considers herself a good worker, never lazy but very critical of others, especially me. She often watches me working and I sometimes hear that she has made a detrimental comment about me or my work ethics. In reality I don't need to hear from others what she has said but that's human nature I guess to stir up trouble. I am from another country and that is the only thing I can see that makes me different from others that work there although I am English speaking. Anyway, at the beginning of my career at this employer the girl was really nice to me. She was training me to do my job as I was a newbie. Yes! I was a bit slow on the uptake but I put that down to my trainers inability to actually demonstrate correctly. Then gradually over time she spoke less and less to me but made more and more sarcastic comments to me or to others about me. This was totally uncalled for and unreasonable. I don't remember offending her. The supervisor put us together to work one day and that was very awkward but everything went well until there was a group of us together later on. At that time she made some sort of comment, can't remember what but it was nasty. She was nice to me when we were alone but as soon as there was an audience she turned on me and looked at the others as she was directing a comment at me. I don't understand what this is that she does. Now I ignored this behavior initially but lately I find I am retaliating and commenting back. I don't like this either. No others that I work with make any bad comments to me and I never hear rumors started from them. My instinct tells me to report this person to the supervisors but as I said before she fraternizes with one of them and this makes it difficult. It doesn't matter how much I am nice to this person she has to slip a comment in at all times. How should I be dealing with her? Should I speak to a supervisor and if so, what should I say that won't make me look bad? She has friends there and I am sure that if she is reprimanded then her friends will have to make me look like the bad guy. Is ignorance STILL the best policy? Any tips or advice gratefully accepted. |
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| | #4 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 1,823
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Whatever you do, don't lower yourself to her standards. That is the easy way out, but that is also a trap. The hard but right way out is this: be better than her, in all aspects. Be more credible, be more productive, etc. Contrary to popular belief, people aren't blind. In due time, they WILL see what is really going on and act on it. Just pray, for them, that they will see that before a valuable employee such as yourself has found employ elsewhere... |
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| | #5 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 632
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Unless there is something more concrete than what is in your post, I don't see a serious problem. The difficulty seems to be based almost completely in your perception of what the situation is. In my opinion, if this person's making sarcastic comments to you is the extent of your difficulty with her, that's not really something you would take up with a supervisor. You may come across as whiny or unable to fend for yourself in the workplace. If others are telling tales to you about this individual you should be very very careful what you believe and what you do in response to these tales. It's workplace suicide to get sucked into office politics and especially if there is a feud between two co-workers. Do your best at your job and keep things business-like. If I were in your shoes and this person's comments affected the quality of my work or my reputation with others in the office, I would speak to this person one on one in a non-confrontational, business-like manner to resolve it. If this person's comments are not affecting the quality of your work or your reputation in the workplace, I don't see a problem. You may need to develop a thicker skin Good luck! |
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| | #6 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,852
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Be a man. If this girl says something and you're around, just roll your eyes or whatever you have to do... rise ABOVE it. If she says lies about you or something that will effect your work, THAT'S when you talk to human resources or whoever you need to. But if she's just being stupid, the best thing you can do to her is ignore her. If she's being obnoxious, everyone else will see how dumb she's being and they probably think she's got some problems anyway. Women like this can't stand to be ignored. Let her bring about her own downfall. No one can affect you if you don't allow them to, in your own mind. |
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