Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Lola · 12-20-2007, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angela

I just had a thought, maybe I should start a thread asking everybody one of these questions at a time -- it would be like dating everybody!

Excellent idea. You know, I've often thought Steve and Erin should add a matchmaking service to their site. Wonder what kind of donations they'd get for matching folks up with their cyber soul mates?

JimOfferman · 12-20-2007, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lola

Excellent idea. You know, I've often thought Steve and Erin should add a matchmaking service to their site. Wonder what kind of donations they'd get for matching folks up with their cyber soul mates?

I'm sorta kinda betting that sooner or later there'll be some Pavlina-forum-induced romances happening anyway.

Angela · 12-20-2007, 11:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimOfferman

I'm sorta kinda betting that sooner or later there'll be some Pavlina-forum-induced romances happening anyway.

As soon as you can choose among all of us, your love-slaves, here, you will be the first one!

Lola · 12-20-2007, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimOfferman

I'm sorta kinda betting that sooner or later there'll be some Pavlina-forum-induced romances happening anyway.

but you're so far away <sniff,sniff>

JimOfferman · 12-20-2007, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lola

but you're so far away <sniff,sniff>

Love knows no bounds, sweetheart.

*hug*

Rose of Cairo · 12-20-2007, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lola

but you're so far away <sniff,sniff>

not from everyone here

Angela · 12-20-2007, 11:30 PM

Boy, this date sure got schmoopy fast

JimOfferman · 12-20-2007, 11:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Angela

As soon as you can choose among all of us, your love-slaves, here, you will be the first one!

so, maybe I have chosen one already but kept it secret 'cause I can't get enough of all of you swooning over me

NotesMaeve · 12-20-2007, 11:59 PM

^^^ Smart AND sexy.

{aspiring_to_clarity} · 12-21-2007, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lola

No candy here. But I did have a pre-pedicure holiday margarita!

Mmmmmmm, margarita. Sounds good right about now. So what if it's only 10 am?!

Epiphany · 12-30-2007, 12:25 AM

I like to ask: If you had 3 wishes what would you ask for?

Plus I look at his shoes, I don't know why

JimOfferman · 12-30-2007, 09:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Epiphany

Plus I look at his shoes, I don't know why

Because you can tell a lot of things about a person just from the shoes he or she is wearing, maybe?

Epiphany · 12-30-2007, 11:25 AM

Yah, but it's kind of superficial. Even if the guy is great - if he has ugly shoes on I don't know I just feel YUCK about him.

JimOfferman · 12-30-2007, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Epiphany

Yah, but it's kind of superficial. Even if the guy is great - if he has ugly shoes on I don't know I just feel YUCK about him.

Well, it is only shallow if you only ever judged people by their shoes. However, as a criterium to decide which people in a larger group are (probably) worth interacting with, it is surprisingly effective.

How people dress, in general, says a lot about their personalities and who they are in life.

Pegasus · 12-30-2007, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Epiphany

Yah, but it's kind of superficial. Even if the guy is great - if he has ugly shoes on I don't know I just feel YUCK about him.

I used to work with a shallow young woman who rated men on three things: teeth, fingernails, and shoes. There was a logic behind it. If he doesn't take care of his teeth, then he probably doesn’t take care of the rest of himself. If his fingernails are dirty or unkempt, then he probably works with his hands (working class), obviously a bad thing.

And if his shoes are worn, ir means he would rather walk then drive or find a good parking space (also a bad thing).

Mark Lapierre · 01-02-2008, 09:43 PM

I think both the "natural, easy-going" and "deep and thoughtful questions" styles of conversation are good. When I'm relaxed with someone the conversation will naturally tend to shift from one to another. While the conversation rolls along smoothly those questions get addressed as Jim mentioned. For example we'll be talking about something related to memory and I might mention my most treasured memory, then she'll share hers. Or we might talk about making tough life decisions in relation to one of us looking for a new job, and then I'll ask her about her most risky decision.

If she seems uncomfortable with direct questions I'll go with the "natural conversation style"

Or at least that's how it works with friends and people I'm comfortable with. It rarely goes so smoothly on a first date, Angela.

"What is the worst psychological torture you can imagine suffering?" Definitely not one for a first date

Some of the topics that come up are the kinds of things I'm interested in discussing here. Naturally I'll first seek to find out if she's actually interested. In question form they might be:

"Do you think spirituality is necessary to live a good life, or to be a good person?"

"What's the nature of consciousness?" (Ok, only if we're getting really deep and philosophical. Probably not on a first date

)

"If you could have anyone in the world as your mentor, who would you choose and why?"

And last but not least, "What can you tell about me from my shoes?"

Oh, btw Angela, you asked, "If you had one day in my life to live over, which would you choose and why?" (bold added) I'd choose whichever day you think is your happiest. And I'd try not to ruin it by staring at yourself too much in the mirror naked.

Angela · 01-02-2008, 10:03 PM

Good catch, Mark! That would be rather self-absorbed of me, wouldn't it!

Re: the psychological torture question, Danger Man loves questions like that... it would have been perfect for our first date! I didn't say "first date" though, did I? just: questions to ask on a date. Danger Man and I ask each other questions like this all the time, and are amazed at where our conversations go.

Mark Lapierre · 01-02-2008, 10:09 PM

Nup, you didn't say first date, I was just pointing out that that's one date on which it might not be appropriate (but I'd be fine with it too. In fact I'd probably be impressed that she had the courage to ask a question which most people would probably shy away from)

4Mind4Life · 01-02-2008, 10:32 PM

What is your name?

Are you interested in giving birth to my children?

Do you want me to stop asking you questions?

Why?

Do you always want people to stop asking questions?

Why?

Is that even a valid reason?

Can you explain with more clarity?

Why didn't you bring your friend?

Are you having too much fun?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Do you mind if I ask you some serious questions?:

What are you interested in?
What do you like to do on the weekends?
Are you a partier?
What do you feel your life purpose is?
What are you going to order?

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12-20-2007, 11:30 PM	#37 (permalink)
Angela Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 22,520	Boy, this date sure got schmoopy fast

12-20-2007, 11:59 PM	#39 (permalink)
NotesMaeve Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 937	^^^ Smart AND sexy.

12-30-2007, 12:25 AM	#41 (permalink)
Epiphany Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 60	I like to ask: If you had 3 wishes what would you ask for? Plus I look at his shoes, I don't know why

12-30-2007, 11:25 AM	#43 (permalink)
Epiphany Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 60	Yah, but it's kind of superficial. Even if the guy is great - if he has ugly shoes on I don't know I just feel YUCK about him.

01-02-2008, 09:43 PM	#46 (permalink)
Mark Lapierre Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 1,061	I think both the "natural, easy-going" and "deep and thoughtful questions" styles of conversation are good. When I'm relaxed with someone the conversation will naturally tend to shift from one to another. While the conversation rolls along smoothly those questions get addressed as Jim mentioned. For example we'll be talking about something related to memory and I might mention my most treasured memory, then she'll share hers. Or we might talk about making tough life decisions in relation to one of us looking for a new job, and then I'll ask her about her most risky decision. If she seems uncomfortable with direct questions I'll go with the "natural conversation style" Or at least that's how it works with friends and people I'm comfortable with. It rarely goes so smoothly on a first date, Angela. "What is the worst psychological torture you can imagine suffering?" Definitely not one for a first date Some of the topics that come up are the kinds of things I'm interested in discussing here. Naturally I'll first seek to find out if she's actually interested. In question form they might be: "Do you think spirituality is necessary to live a good life, or to be a good person?" "What's the nature of consciousness?" (Ok, only if we're getting really deep and philosophical. Probably not on a first date ) "If you could have anyone in the world as your mentor, who would you choose and why?" And last but not least, "What can you tell about me from my shoes?" Oh, btw Angela, you asked, "If you had one day in my life to live over, which would you choose and why?" (bold added) I'd choose whichever day you think is your happiest. And I'd try not to ruin it by staring at yourself too much in the mirror naked.

01-02-2008, 10:03 PM	#47 (permalink)
Angela Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 22,520	Good catch, Mark! That would be rather self-absorbed of me, wouldn't it! Re: the psychological torture question, Danger Man loves questions like that... it would have been perfect for our first date! I didn't say "first date" though, did I? just: questions to ask on a date. Danger Man and I ask each other questions like this all the time, and are amazed at where our conversations go.

01-02-2008, 10:09 PM	#48 (permalink)
Mark Lapierre Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 1,061	Nup, you didn't say first date, I was just pointing out that that's one date on which it might not be appropriate (but I'd be fine with it too. In fact I'd probably be impressed that she had the courage to ask a question which most people would probably shy away from)

01-02-2008, 10:32 PM	#49 (permalink)
4Mind4Life Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: U.S. Posts: 149	What is your name? Are you interested in giving birth to my children? Do you want me to stop asking you questions? Why? Do you always want people to stop asking questions? Why? Is that even a valid reason? Can you explain with more clarity? Why didn't you bring your friend? Are you having too much fun? >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Do you mind if I ask you some serious questions?: What are you interested in? What do you like to do on the weekends? Are you a partier? What do you feel your life purpose is? What are you going to order?

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums