Is it bad to talk about your physical ailments?

[DeathStorm]

Do you think it's generally "putting off" to immediately talk about your ailments, chronic pains ( My condition and ambiguous health care, a little rant ), etc. in social situations, especially when meeting new people, and you sometimes need to go away or do strange grimaces with your face due to the pain?

[JimOfferman]

At the risk of being a bit blunt, in general, yes it is off putting. You're basically telling me that the most important thing about you - the information you choose to share with me first - is your chronic pain or illness. Are you kidding me? That can't possibly be the most interesting thing about you?

[Jennihul]

Yes yes yes yes yes...

Bad vibe. People who define themselves by their illnesses are some of the most boring people on earth. Not to mention you are re-manifesting illness vibes which re-create your illness state.

Just don't mention it. Then, soon, try to learn to ignore it. Then try to pretend you are perfectly healthy. After that, you may just be.

You are more powerful over your state than you know....

Whatever follows the words "I am..." become your reality.

Jennifer

[dangerlarson]

No - not iunless you're both 75 years old and have given up on life

Don't ever, ever talk about physical ailments unless you are asking for prayer or specific help.

[Jennihul]

People give up on life???

Bummer for them...

Jennifer

[DeathStorm]

Yeah I understand

It's just that I feel like trapped in a cage with all this pain; that I'm not even controlling my own body anymore, but my soul is trapped in some broken zombie.

And every person I see I try to scream "HELP! HELP! HELP!", especially because the pain isn't at a constant level of intensity, but it keeps increasing every day, but - as you said - nobody would really care.

I experienced everything in the past 6+ months through pain.
Pain in the regions that physiologically affect the mood. The nerve pain around the chest which make me act like a cynic, although I have no reason to be one. The neck/nape which forces my head down and makes me servile instead of confident. The shoulders and arms which are forced down and don't allow me to gesture properly anymore...
And sometimes I keep twitching visibly.

Ahh, I'm gonna have to learn it all over again; everything...
Body language? LOL Robotic body language I'd say

[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by DeathStorm

It's just that I feel like trapped in a cage with all this pain; that I'm not even controlling my own body anymore, but my soul is trapped in some broken zombie.

That's just it, as long as you are talking about the pain, all I get to see is the broken zombie exterior. You're hurt, I can see that (probably). I feel for you, now tell me about the stuff I don't know!

You should also understand that I have no way to gauge whether my own aches are better or worse than yours. Maybe you really are in much more constant pain than I am or maybe I am just better at masking my ailments than you. Just from your words, I'm guessing I have the far better deal here, but there is no way to know for sure.

Don't let your pains define who you are. They are your circumstance, but they are not you.

Now, if you take the time to show me the great person who you really are underneath, you might suddenly find my hand on your shoulder and hear me say that I'd love to bear some of your pain for a while. You and I both know that doesn't actually change anything - but it does make us both feel better.

[DeathStorm]

Yeah, I know what you mean... but I think that in 6 months it has really become part of my personality, "the person underneath". I don't know why, nor how.
But I have the impression that I often come across as hostile to other people ever since I got all these problems.
I don't know why or how.
Maybe I myself thought too much about it...
I don't really know
I almost behave like a helpless child in my daily life, who must whine and be pampered and cries for attention.

[The David]

Yes, yes, oh God, yes. Very much a no-no.

Unless, of course, you're friends are like mine and consider it an appropriate small-talk topic. Then you can tell them what anti-depressant you are currently on, and pretend to be surprised when they tell you it's the same one they're on.

[laciemn1]

Originally Posted by DeathStorm

Do you think it's generally "putting off" to immediately talk about your ailments, chronic pains ( My condition and ambiguous health care, a little rant ), etc. in social situations, especially when meeting new people, and you sometimes need to go away or do strange grimaces with your face due to the pain?

Of course it's not. Why would it be bad to want to express pain? You can talk about whatever you want; people can be either sympathetic or dicks about it, but I don't think you should try to keep quiet if you feel the need to let someone know you're in pain. It could possibly make them uncomfortable, but you speaking to them in the first place could make them uncomfortable by itself.

[DayInTheLife]

Don't discuss medical issues casually in social situations. Those subjects are very personal for people and aren't appropriate in everyday discussions, especially when meeting new people.

If you have to explain why you are limping or grimacing, then briefly do so and move on. Your medical condition should not be the focus. Keep the conversation light or people will start to avoid you because they find it uncomfortable.

[jtrikster]

If there's an appropriate segue then I don't mind. Personally, I don't mind talking about physical ailments because I'm a Physical Therapy student and I find the human body very fascinating. So naturally I enjoy talking about the body.

I would say generally though, with most others, if there's a good segue then its fine.

[sjatkins]

Originally Posted by DeathStorm

Do you think it's generally "putting off" to immediately talk about your ailments, chronic pains ( My condition and ambiguous health care, a little rant ), etc. in social situations, especially when meeting new people, and you sometimes need to go away or do strange grimaces with your face due to the pain?

Well it is basically self-labeling as a set of ailments and problems and self-advertising as such. That is not only off-putting to other people. It sets you up in that it has very real effects on your self image and what you manifest in your life. It is certainly not going to lead to any increase of happiness or well-being or enjoyment. Most people who are working to actualize the positive aren't going to want to be in the same zip code with that kind of negativity.

So generally save the list of ailments for those who already know and love you and may be able and willing to help.

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by JimOfferman

Don't let your pains define who you are. They are your circumstance, but they are not you.

Wow, excellent Jim.

You are the awareness that is experiencing pain. When I couldn't move for four months due to extreme back pain, I would have to remind myself, "I am experiencing human pain now". I'd say "human pain" to remind myself that I am the awareness, the consciousness, that is experiencing this world. I had to stop resisting my situation, because I wanted everything to be different. What a teacher that was.

[NickW]

"DeathStorm," you need to add some variety to your monologs.

To do this, focus on the other person instead of yourself.

Just say:

"But enough about me! Let's talk about what *you* think of me!"

Doesn't everyone hope for such an unselfish, socially-skilled conversation partner?