I am Nervous about Coming out of my Comfort Zone with People

[Kaprese408]

So I have another project i want to get started...poker nights at my house hosted by me. The inspriation came from a las vegas style poker table that my roommates and I have in the house (belongs to the landlord and i promised him i would utilize it). I got this random idea one day instead of just having a few friends over once and a while (maybe twice a year)...why not host a poker night once a week where people can come over and play on the table...i live in a college area. I was going to learn to play the game to the extent where i could be the dealer...i figure this would also be a good way for people to get the opportunity to play with new people instead of their usual friends.

However, there is a problem. I keep changing my mind because I am not sure if one i really want to do it (actually yeah i do, but i keep convincing myself other wise if I choose not to)...also i have some social anxiety and i am not sure if i should jump into HOSTING a event this quick. I think deep down i am worried about having no one show up or everyone ending up not having a good time.

I would like some advice in how i can do this successfully. Anyone been in a similar position? This truly is the first time in my life where i am finally starting to try things out of my comfort zone. I feel like i am actually challenging myself socially and that is the area where I have wanted to succeed big time for a long time.

[JimOfferman]

Just do it! If the first time around doesn't turn out to be a success, figure out what went wrong and do better the second time around.

[UHF]

Hello. As far as poker goes - ensure that you have two decks of quality plastic playing cards with different coloured backs and plenty of quality chips. You possibly already know all this, but this will ensure there's no problems with the actual game itself. Get your friends to support you as you get games going and be dilligent as to who you invite over, start with low stakes $10 for seat. Once the game's going people will enjoy themselves and keep turning up. As host, make sure your totally familiar with the rules of whatever your playing (Texas Hold'em?), as you may have to adjudicate in particular circumstances.

If there are other games in your region, go to them, get to know people and then invite people to your game. I would suggest hosting a regular game every two to four weeks rather than every week perhaps. I used to go to someones house to play low stakes here in Britain (10 quid a seat) and had a lot of fun. New people turned up, some were experienced others not. The house additionally took 1 pound per person to cover costs of replacing cards and chips etc. They also used a laptop with a program running on it to raise the 'blinds' at regular intervals.

Once the game's running smoothly, people will enjoy it and this will keep them coming.

[ZHereford]

Originally Posted by Kaprese408

I would like some advice in how i can do this successfully. Anyone been in a similar position? This truly is the first time in my life where i am finally starting to try things out of my comfort zone. I feel like i am actually challenging myself socially and that is the area where I have wanted to succeed big time for a long time.

Actually Kaprese in order to grow you have to first learn to overcome discomfort and fear and the only way to do that is jump in. I've written articles on both - how to Expand Your Comfort Zone and Overcome Your Fear.

If you don't venture beyond either, you will never accomplish what you want. Have a look, you'll get some good tips!

[learningtogrow]

I had the exact same issue. I'm actually 37 and had NEVER hosted anything before. My husband and I would have impromptu get togethers once in awhile, but never a "planned" event. Just like you, I realized that my fears were; what if no one shows up, or what if they don't have a good time?

I finally organized a "clothes swap" amongst some ladies. I haven't lived in the area long so it was really a gamble but almost it seemed safer. If I had a party in my old town where I had really good friends and they didn't come.... then I'd really take it personally. Of course, I hadn't really analyzed it to this point YET.

Further and deeper analyzation (uh oh!) leads me to the notion that I believe I'm always let down by people ESPECIALLY my girl friends. Out of dozens I think I can only count on a few who will actually do what they say they're going to with out totally flaking out. Why do I manifest these flaky women as friends? Don't know if it's the same with guys but my husband doesn't seem to have the same problem.

Since the move, I've been reluctant to make friends just for that reason. However, something said I had to do the clothes swap so I did. I went WAY overboard cleaning and buying drinks and food and crap and I invited everyone I worked with, neighbors etc... I found inviting people also made me nervous so I had to break through that fear. Whatever that was about?

People I thought for sure were coming were dropping like flies the day of the party. "Something suddenly came up". I persevered however and just kept telling myself that it would all be o.k. Seems sorta silly but apparently I have a BIG fear of rejection.

5 women showed up and I was ecstatic. They had a great time (they said they did at least) and I got to know 5 women a whole lot better and they connected as well.

Now, I'm ready to host another small couples party and I don't care who comes. It just made me feel good to be offering it to people and let them know it's there if they feel like it:-). Going to try not to go so overboard to please this time? We'll see.

Definitely got out of my comfort zone and now it seems like I don't even understand what the huge deal was before.
GO FOR IT!

[Tonezone]

Poker is a huge hit these days, and I don't see why a poker night would be unsuccessful as long as you know many people will turn out. Just make sure you have enough chips to distribute to everyone equally, and have at least two decks of cards. Have the first hand be dealt with Deck A, and the second with Deck B so that it alternates every other hand and the action doesn't slow down.

[Kaprese408]

Thank you all for your posts...it is going to really help me cover my basis...both with the game and running of it, as well as the mental chaos going through my own head as i work toward it.

Tell you the truth i know NOTHING about the game sooo far... i have a friend who is going to teach me how to be the dealer for Texas Hold em and get famliar with the game rules. I also want to be familiar with the other type of poker games...which he doesnt know, but others might. I guess this is one of the reasons i am more nervous than needed...its not my area. I would love to be a part of it and learn...i know poker is big these days and i know people love to play...so i live with four girls and we have a las vegas style table that no one here plays on so why not open it to the public was my rationle.

Any other advice will be GREATLY appreciated.

[Jennihul]

I can offer you advice on the social phobia stuff but I'd rather suggest that you should be afraid because running a gambling game is illegal in many many counties and states.

You have to be really certain that you are no violating any laws. My state, NC, has recently had their laws changed with regard to poker games and even pub/bar-sponsored tournaments are in violation of the law as it is currently interpreted by the attorney general. There have been many arrests here and that includes members of poker's elite, who have won bracelets.

Jennifer