I don't care what you think of me!

[BlobMarley]

So I always think about this piece of advice, "You shouldn't care what people think of you"

Now I think that is good advice, it would be a waste of energy to always be worried about what people think of you. I've had that attitude lately where I don't care, especially at work. The problem is that I might be putting out negative energy or I might be projecting this attitude where I think I'm better than everyone.

Another problem is what I think of other people I work with. I believe that they don't meet the standard of there position and role in the work place. I would like to tell them how I feel because it has been irritating me lately. Yet I don't want them to think that I am a know it all. Do I just have a fear of what people think of me? Does it seem like I have a problem with standing up for my beliefs?

[JimOfferman]

Hey BlobMarley!

Love your username!

I agree that you shouldn't care what other people think of you (what you think of yourself is what matters), but you shouldn't carry it as a negative towards other people - unless that is exactly what you want, of course. From your post, I gather that you'd want to be putting out "I don't need your validation, because I know that I am cool" (which is very positive) instead of "I am going to behave in a way you all don't agree with, just to piss you off!" (obviously negative).

Not relying on the validation of others for your self worth is a good thing, so by all means try to find the spot where you can be that kind of person.

[NotesMaeve]

I prefer the attitude of, "I know a number of people love me, so I am fine."

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

I think someone not fullfiling their role as prescribed in their job description is a different animal than what you think of them. There is an objective standard on which to base job performance whereas thinking someone is ugly or whiny or lazy is something entirely different.

I think it's fantastic not to base your own self worth on other people's opinions of you. I hope that would work both ways (that they would not base their self worth on your opinion of them). However, do not let that preclude taking/giving constructive criticism about areas where there is some objective standard to be met. Does that make sense?

PS I love your username too!

[Fullcrum]

Not caring what others think does not make you a dick. It removes that which stifles you.

Now you act through your OWN intentions. You are free to develop your CORE VALUES and IDENTITY without taking others' opinions into consideration. One would hope you want to develop a POSITIVE identity. So you are free to develop a powerful positive identity.

This attitude is basically being OUTCOME INDEPENDENT and non-reaction seeking.

This means that if you try to prove to others that you do not care...you still care.

When you stop juding yourself...you'll stop judging others. You judge your coworkers' performance and find it wanting. This is fine. It's non-reaction seeking, outcome independent, basically not giving a damn what they think of you. It's an observation. When you equate performance with who they are and judge them for it, this is egoic, "bad", and opens you up to similar judgment.

This attitude of not giving a damn what anyone thinks of you does not "elevate" you above others. Not egoically. You can't then turn around and say "I am better than everyone else." No, when you do this, you realize that everyone is essentially human. The ego in every person can judge, interpret, criticize, condemn, and analyze other people and their surface actions, and equate it with who they are. When you realize we come from the same place and are cut from the same cloth, you know that everyone is connected. Caring what others thinks of you is a negative filter for your actions. Once you are free of this, you are free to care about what is important to YOU! Which may be about other people, their real, true humanity, not what their ego thinks of you. Which can have a negative or positive opinion. But true love, true compassion, that's not egoic. It loves all.

This'll probably sound f****** strange, if you are not experiencing it. "Ooohh, airy-fairy incantations and theory-junkie." Nope, this ain't no theory junkie stuff, this is practical and I've applied this to my life to fantastic results.

I'm not where I truly want to be yet, but I have giant dreams. So don't think I know it all, cause I DON'T! Take this for what it means to you. Hope this helps.

[ChangeYourTree]

Originally Posted by BlobMarley

So I always think about this piece of advice, "You shouldn't care what people think of you"

Now I think that is good advice, it would be a waste of energy to always be worried about what people think of you. I've had that attitude lately where I don't care, especially at work. The problem is that I might be putting out negative energy or I might be projecting this attitude where I think I'm better than everyone.

Another problem is what I think of other people I work with. I believe that they don't meet the standard of there position and role in the work place. I would like to tell them how I feel because it has been irritating me lately. Yet I don't want them to think that I am a know it all. Do I just have a fear of what people think of me? Does it seem like I have a problem with standing up for my beliefs?

Unfortunately, no matter what you think, you don't have the power to change other people.

Instead of trying to figure out how your co-workers could be better, look for ways YOU could be better.

I feel your pain, but sitting around worrying about them gives them control over you.

I recommend a book called QBQ! The Question Behind the Question: Personal Accountability in Work and in Life.

It will really change how the way you see things at work.

[BlobMarley]

Thank you all very much for taking time out of your day to give me advice. I appreciate everyones thoughts and ideas. I got something positive out of each of your replys, Right on!