How do you know if someone truly loves you?

[sunlit07]

I was just wondering, how do you know if someone truly loves you? Is there any way to know they are sincere? thanks!

[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by sunlit07

I was just wondering, how do you know if someone truly loves you? Is there any way to know they are sincere? thanks!

You need a few drops of blood from the subject and then get a TrueLove(tm) test from your local pharmacy. Alternatively, I hear there is a sorceress on the south pole who can tell from the way smoke clouds billow from her fire when you visit her. Or you could just drug the person with Love Potion Nr. 9 and be done with it (caveat: you have to keep doing that indefinitely)

Honest answer: you can never know beyond a doubt and even if you could, it might change in the future. Best thing you can do is not worry about it. Just enjoy whatever love you get from anyone (and give some back)

[NotesMaeve]

Jim, how you keep women off of you is a mystery. If I was a single Nederlander, you'd be beating me off with a stick, baby.

[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

Jim, how you keep women off of you is a mystery. If I was a single Nederlander, you'd be beating me off with a stick, baby.

I don't do violence, baby.

[NotesMaeve]

^ Slamhot will tell you, that's about 24 hours of violation a week if you don't fight back. (We did the math once!) Are you man enough?

[UHF]

Originally Posted by sunlit07

... how do you know if someone truly loves you?

When there's never any doubt in your mind.

[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

^ Slamhot will tell you, that's about 24 hours of violation a week if you don't fight back. (We did the math once!) Are you man enough?

If it weren't for Slamhot, I'd say: come over and find out just how much of a man I really am. Muhahahahaha

(sorry, I just totally dig my evil laughter)

[NotesMaeve]

Originally Posted by JimOfferman

If it weren't for Slamhot, I'd say: come over and find out just how much of a man I really am. Muhahahahaha

(sorry, I just totally dig my evil laughter)

Duly noted.

[Honeywith4bees]

Originally Posted by NotesMaeve

Jim, how you keep women off of you is a mystery. If I was a single Nederlander, you'd be beating me off with a stick, baby.

I'd fight you for him (if I was younger!)


As far as how you can know if someone truly loves you, are they a generally trustworthy person? If you are talking about someone that you met at a bar, or in the police booking room, or someone that all your friends tell you has a bad rep, then maybe you have reason to worry. Other than that, listen to your intuition. Are being treated well by this person? Do they call you when they say they will? Do the things that they say they will when they say they will? have some faith that you are a lovable person, and then like Jim said, relax and give some back.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by sunlit07

I was just wondering, how do you know if someone truly loves you? Is there any way to know they are sincere? thanks!

I think these are hugely disempowering questions to ask in the first place.

You can't know "the truth" about another person's feelings, and what difference would it make if you could? If you can only feel safe in a relationship if you are sure about his feelings, than your security is based on an illusion. If you're only willing to "love him back" if he loves you, then love for you is a tit-for-tat arrangement, a commercial deal, a stingy imposter of love.

A better question to ask maybe is: "Am I willing to generate love in this relationship, regardless of what other people say, do, or feel?" or "Do I trust my own feelings?"

[Daniel Terhorst]

I once read, "Work is love made visible."

Does anyone have thoughts on that?

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by Daniel Terhorst

I once read, "Work is love made visible."

Does anyone have thoughts on that?

I'd say this belongs in another thread, but yes, it is. Love is knowledge; work is action.

[Daniel Terhorst]

Originally Posted by Michael Chui

I'd say this belongs in another thread

If work is love made visible, then you know someone truly loves you based on their actions above all else, so the question is pertinent. I could have been more clear, sorry.

[recruit2]

Someone who understands your passions and fully supports whatever it is you want to go after in life. For example: A girlfriend who offered to stay at her job and keep pulling the money in, because you were considering quitting your job to start your own business or follow your entrepreneurial passion etc. You just know because she is "so into you". I had one of these, but basically pushed her away, because I was damaged from an ex who hurt me. So I never let this latest girlfriend who loved me fully/truly into my heart. The result was that 6 years later, she got jack of it and we split. She put everything into the relationship. She wasn't perfect, she had a lot of things to learn also, but they won't love you forever if you never give anything back. Although she still says she loves me, but is just scarred.

[MmeIntentional]

Originally Posted by UHF

When there's never any doubt in your mind.

Yes I would totally agree with this one.

I just got dumped a few days ago and I'm over it. It was just only a 5 week relationship and the bf was sleeping around . I didn't even want to face up to that even if I had the proof, also his so called best friend telling me....still didn't after we split the other day.

Anyways this man "did" love me and I had no doubt whats so ever because I could feel it and actions towards me told me so. He ended up being played by his own game and had to dump me before the s*** hit the fan.
I did feel the love etc. cut at some point but didn't take any notice because I didn't want my bubble to be burst.
I now that he will want be back for sure but I have a strong doubt in my mind and I know that I will never feel that same towards him again.

The funny thing is that it was him that was like a little besotted lapp dog and now he is like a wild dog towards me .....mainly because he has lots of problems with his health and the fact he didn't plan to fall in love with me.

[fourthdan]

I saw this movie with zach braff recently called the last kiss. There's a line in the movie that goes something like "It doesn't matter to anyone if you feel you love someone. That's what you feel inside and it only matters to you. What only matters to others is what you do to or for the people you love."