Keeping empathy under control

[The David]

Any words of wisdom or book recommendations? This is also a strength, but with
some people, it is like having ties that bind me and suck my blood. I'm never sure if they're sucking or if I'm giving the blood willingly.

It is strongest with my family. I can't seem to distance myself from their emotions, thoughts, or points of view. It's almost like I become the person I am currently empathizing with. I just had a fifteen minute phone conversation with one of these people, and afterwards I was so physically and mentally drained that I could barely walk back to my apartment. It's been an amazing week and I've been bouncing off the walls, so this was a really alarming sensation. I don't really understand empathy or why I am strongly empathic with only a select few.

[hollowman]

I do have this 'empathy problem' i am suffering myself but i didn't come to any solid conclusion. I do feel drained too but probably not as severe as you..

can you recognise any similarities in these people whom you over-empathise with? Perhaps that can give you some clues as to why they suck your blood easily or you give them your blood freely.

I find that i empathise with people who are in need, like orphan kids, students from poor family background. I rarely empathise those who are financially able but having other sort of problems. I know it sounds bias...


i took some personalilty test before and the jobs that suit my personality are social worker, teacher, care taker. i am not sure if i should be impressed or should i be upset that i sound like a sissy..

[The David]

The people I empathize most with are family members. That's really the only thing they share. I guess it's because they're the ones I've trusted the most.

It's not even really sympathy. It's not like I feel sorry for them, and I don't necessarily even respect their views or opinions. I just live my life through their feelings. I am a very sympathetic person, so if they have a problem it does intensify the feeling.

I've been trying to figure out how I can be so uninhibited and carefree around most people, but when I have to tell my parents something, it's the emotional equivalent of climbing Mount Everest. I know that after I open myself up like that, whatever the news does to them, I'll go through it with them. I'll basically become them.

Before, I might have blamed it on shame, depression, or insecurity, but now that everything else in my life is going amazingly well, I know there's something entirely different going on.