Any tips on conversation?

[Puggy]

Hi guys well am just wondering if any of you have some tips for having a good conversation.

I seem to be able to attract girls on first impressions but once we start talking i just cant keep them interested, i can have a great laugh with my mates but i cant do the same with girls.

The reason am asking is me and a friend collided in liking a girl she was always interested in me but moved over to him because he quick witted and funny.

I think its because am nervous and worried about rejection so can somebody help me out please?

Everything will be appreciated.

-Puggy

[joelyle]

...concentrate on body language also. (smiling/relax) Concentrate on listening vs. what you will say. Ask follow-up questions when she speaks.

[4Mind4Life]

Smile a lot and be yourself....that's what you do w/ your mates right?

Then let her know that you want to hang out & get more comfortable w/ being around her....things will come naturally. GETTING EXPERIENCE is what will make you better in these type of situations. For some people this comes naturally, others have to learn it. I will be posting an article fairly soon on my blog about developing a quick wit that you may find helpful.

Best wishes!

[cdn2wheeler]

All this is good stuff, no question, but there are some very specific things you can use to start a conversation and keep it going.

Nearly every woman will wear something on her that she thinks is unique. Maybe it's an interesting necklace or bracelet. You can try something like, "Hey, funky necklace. It looks sort of African. Where did you get that?" Before long, she's waxing poetic about her month-long stay in Spain where she picked up the necklace in an avante-garde store in Barcelona. That leads in to talking about Spain... or travelling... or shopping... or her sense of style.

But what if there isn't something terribly unique?

Well, there almost always is, but for those rare instance where there isn't, that doesn't mean you're left out in the cold.

Let's say you meet someone interesting in, say, a bookstore, and she's carrying a book on self-development. "Interesting topic," you might say. "What drew you to that author's work?"

But she's not in a bookstore and she's not wearing a necklace. Now what?

Use the environment around you. That doesn't mean talking about the weather, but it might mean chatting with her about what's going on in the immediate vicinity. "How can you tell if the tomatoes are fresh?" is something you might try in a grocery store. "Have you been following this group long?" if you're in the lineup to get tickets for a concert. "What would you recommend, the Sumatran or the Ethiopian blend?" if you're waiting in line at Starbucks.

You've probably noticed the open-ended format of the questions; that is, they can't really be answered with a yes or no. This opens up the conversation and gives her a chance to talk about herself, her choices and so forth.

But I'm scared! I might get rejected!

Yea, you might. No biggie.

One last thing: When making a cold approach - that is, you've never met her before and have no idea what her response might be - try to approach her on a 45 degree angle. Head-on can be intimidating, and coming up from behind sets off security alarm bells.

And practice, practice, practice. The more you do this, the more confident you'll be and the more opportunities you'll have for success.

Good luck!

[Rose of Cairo]

Puggy, just be yourself, and be genuinely interested in her. Ask her questions about her, her life, tastes, dreams, feelings.... Every person is fascinating when you're open enough to see who they really are. To do that, you need to relax and free your mind. If you're concentrated on yourself more than on her, she'll feel that, and that's not attractive. Thus, don't think about rejection, about "does she like me?" or "what should I say to impress her?" Yes, you can get rejected, so what? Will you die? Love yourself, they will love you Good luck!


edit: a man approaching me in a 45° angle makes my alarm bells ring. That's exactly how pick-up jerks and salespeople approach their prey