How do you cope with those around you?

[Akashic_Librarian]

How do yo upersonally cope with people around you that drag you down consciousness-wise, I woul despecailly like to hear stories from students...

[Lychee]

Ah, I've had to deal with this but it gets worse especially during exam time. They believe that everyone is out for themselves and sooner than you know it, you have people around you gossiping about other peoples' grades or saying the class was too hard and that they're going to fail it, etc.

I just put on my headphones and ignore them. These kinds of people will always be there and if I just sit there and try to focus on my own business, you can't help but overhear and get sucked into the negative energy. I listen to music to distract myself.

If you must associate with people who drag you down to their lower energy level, I'd still try my best to avoid it. If I absolutely cannot avoid it, I stay silent and quietly listen to what they're saying. Or I just zone out. The important thing is to center yourself and make it very clear that you are separate from them. I would reiterate my values and beliefs in my mind and tell myself that it is not necessary to get involved.

[moltar]

Make fun of them either in your head, or just say it out loud... Something like "yeah, for sure, you are going to fail"... Just make them realise how ridiculous they sound.

[Love]

Hi, Akashic Librarian. Hmm, coping with folks that bring you down? Well, for me, I found that there were several people in school that would bring me down. What I found was that those people were never in the least bothered by the fact that they were obviously irritating me. I was the only one suffering. And I just suffered more by spending all my time thinking about how irritating these people were and how they couldn't care less. In short, I was putting my attention on the wrong things. I bet if I had known then how to switch my attention to something positive quickly, it would have helped me out a lot. Maybe if you could switch your attention to something positive quickly, when you encounter these other people, they might bother you less.
Oh, and if you're in a class discussion and they are saying something that seems to you offensive, instead of getting all angry about it, search for the grain of truth in what they are saying, repeat that, and slowly work your way from that point to what you want to say.

I hope you have great times.

Cheers!

[wadoo]

The same situation in my way. In my class there are mass of people, who are simple-minded, light-headed and so on. They don't want to think about their futures, about their further lifes. They are just interested in alcohol, partys, smoking and so on.

They don't respect other people. People, who are interested in self development, who want to reach a lot in their lifes. In their opinions, it looks silly.

What I do in this situation? I simply use a "mask" In my class I'm other than I'm outside the class. I just don't argue with those people. I like to communicate with smart people.

So, it is not so big problem. If you don't like your class mates, use the mask. It's my advice.

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by moltar

Make fun of them either in your head, or just say it out loud... Something like "yeah, for sure, you are going to fail"... Just make them realise how ridiculous they sound.

Have you ever actually tried this? Doesn't work so well...

[Lisho]

A lot of my mates are still (5 years after school) drinking heavily (which isn't such a bad thing but it's not where I want to put my money, or my health - mental or physical), smoking and partying (fun )... and that is all they seem to do with their lives. All of which I find pointless. And the thing is that they aren't happy.. but they won't change. Not yet anyway.

The easiest way I find to get around the fact that they are opposite to all that I want to be is just to see them as little as I can so as to not brought down by them but as much as to still stay connected. It's a fine line and it sometimes wears thin but I can't bear to be influenced and 'let down' by them anymore so I do what I do.

It's a decision you have to make.

Either they accept you for who you are and they for who you are and that's that.

Or you:
- be like 'them'
- pretend to be like them (mask)
- see less of them (me)
- cut yourself off from them and move on

You just have to make the decision that's right for you. I would almost cut myself off entirely but they are good friends who I have a long history with and who I value and besides without them I truly would be alone in the world (besides family and work colleagues (but that's work!)).

School is difficult though.. I'd just suggest the mask. It's hard to be alone at school (not that I'd know much but still..) so you don't really want to alienate yourself... but I guess it can be just as hard when you think that the people around you are all idiots..

[Lychee]

Wearing the mask is a practical solution, but I have to admit that at times it might take a toll on you.

[Erki]

What if you have to cope with your parents but can't move away from them either. Wearing a mask pretty much 24/7 can be a bit hard sometimes...

[Lychee]

Originally Posted by Erki

What if you have to cope with your parents but can't move away from them either. Wearing a mask pretty much 24/7 can be a bit hard sometimes...

Not only difficult, but unwise. Over time we will have become so accustomed to this mask that we may have forgotten our true selves as a result.

[Alvin]

Originally Posted by Akashic_Librarian

How do yo upersonally cope with people around you that drag you down consciousness-wise, I woul despecailly like to hear stories from students...

How about dragging people up with you consciousness-wise?

There's a saying; 'a king can pretend to be a fool, a fool cannot pretend to be a king'. I find it's a mark of a higher consciousness that it can be more flexible than a lower one.

When I'm around people I don't usually hang with, I take it as a challenge to be flexible and see how much rapport I can build with them.

Of course, there are standards I'd never violate (I'd never take drugs just to fit in for example) and I wouldn't hang around negative people too much, they'd just drain the life out of me and it's not worth it.

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by Akashic_Librarian

How do yo upersonally cope with people around you that drag you down consciousness-wise, I woul despecailly like to hear stories from students...

While I'm listening to what they are saying I say "this is me" to myself.