Getting job vs starting biz.. as it relates to finding a mate.

[Helpmehaveabetterlife]

I just recently posted something on this forum about male virginity. (BTW, thanks for all the great replies to that thread!)...

Anyway, I now have a little problem. I am trying to decide whether or not to get a job or start an internet business (I had been planning the biz for quite a while, but I put it on hold for various reasons)

My top goal is to find a girl. Given this, the most obvious answer is that a job would be the best choice. BUT, I've been wondering what affect a job (and it would be a hard physical job, cause I have no degree) would have on my motivation/energy levels. The last time I worked (my 1st job) it sapped my motivation to do anything in terms of self development. All I did was spend my money on useless stuff, and watch tv and movies. I also didn't really make any friends. I have social phobia.. and I just don't know if the work environment would help me to get over that.... it may, but then again what if I were to just go to work (and not socialize much at all with people)... then come home too tired to do anything (like deep relaxation, etc for overcoming social phobia). I would probably spend a lot of time watching tv and movies too...


Now, with a business... it could fail.... I could also not push myself to go out and work on my phobia.... also, where would I meet girls? Would I REALLY push myself to get out or would I become a slob? And that is IF the biz is successful....which is a big if.

I have used CARVAR and like 3 other methods for decision making. They all say that getting a job is the right thing. But, I think it was only because I factored in Getting a job as a sure fire way of getting a girlfriend... which isnt true.

Anyone got any suggestions?

[Helpmehaveabetterlife]

One more thing...

One part of me thinks that I'm just being lazy... and another part of thinks I am being smart about this whole thing. But I will admit that I AM a lazy person. I don't know if my apprehensiveness about getting a job is cause of my laziness....

probably is

[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by Helpmehaveabetterlife

All I did was spend my money on useless stuff, and watch tv and movies.

This has nothing to do with your job. You chose to squander the monetary resources you acquired through work on "useless stuff", not your job. If you don't change your attitude on spending money, being self employed is not going to help either - in fact, it will be rather difficult.

In your particular case I would recommend against becoming an internet entrepeneur, btw. Don't feed your social phobia by choosing a line of work that will most likely keep you isolated from the rest of the world.

And, one last thing, don't get a job or company just so you can get a girl. Forgive me for being blunt, but that just sounds stupid. You get a job or start a business for the experience it brings you. Maybe you have a job just so you can pay your bills... but you don't get girls because of having a job. You get girls because of who you are.

[Ilya]

Great advice, Jim. It's the second time today I read this "get a job to get a girl" idea on the forums. It doesn't work this way. Marriage - maybe.
But to start a relationship your employment means nothing.

[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by Ilya

Great advice, Jim. It's the second time today I read this "get a job to get a girl" idea on the forums. It doesn't work this way.

Thanks! I think it used to be proper in the good old days to first get a job, then a girl... fortunately, we're long past that now.

[NotesMaeve]

Women don't like being conquests. Don't want "a girl." When I was single, or if I am perceived as single, I would back away from someone who was talking to me if I perceived it was because "they wanted a girl."

If you're looking for mindblowing sex, have a sexual relationship because you intensely love the entire package of the individual. A girl just to be with a girl isn't very fun. Save up $600 for an escort if you just want a girl. When you want a romantic relationship with an individual you know, that's another game.